Before I started dating my boyfriend I slept around a bit and cheated on a few partners. I'm really dedicated and in love with my current boyfriend and I want to get married but my past actions really affect him in ways I never thought theyd affect someone. He says the mete thought of all the sexual deviance is enough to room his day in some cases. Which is fine, different people have different opinions on sex but I just want to help him when hes going through a slump like this I want to be there and support him High I feel like there's nothing I can do about things that have already happened.
You're not compatible with him. Best to talk to him about breaking it off.
>>17007909
You don't meet a standard that he has, and it's hard for him because he likes you.
He sees sex/slutty behavior/cheating as a bad thing. Even if you don't, there's nothing you can do to change his opinion on that.
Think about it this way- what if you were in love with a boy and you found out that he had murdered someone before you met? You would be upset because that past action reflects a part of his character that you have not seen for yourself, and that you dislike.
Now obviously sex and murder are not on the same level- but cheating and sleeping around is still seen as a "negetive" thing by most people.
it's true that you cannot change it because it is in the past, but you still have to live with the consequences of your actions.
Your old hope of salvaging this relationship is to demonstrate that you've changed, and that you are not the same person that you were before. But in order to do that, you need to acknowledge that what you did before was wrong. If you don't think that what you did was wrong, then you and him are not compatible.
>>17007909
How can he know that you are not just in a "slump" in your cheating ways? I'm not saying what you have done in the past is wrong in any objective sense, but my personal feelings about cheating is that it can be the most emotionally damaging thing to do to a person. You may very well love him and will never cheat again, but just the thought that my wife could do that to me would be grounds to ruin my day and the entire relationship, too.
I sort of hope he breaks up with you so that you can both find other people with more "similar opinions on sex". If you had an open relationship and were both okay fucking other people, more power to you. But cheating is devastating to someone. Get your shit together.
Tl;dr he's not in a " slump" of he feels that way and you will likely break up because of it. My condolences.
>>17007909
Break it off for his sake before you cheat again.
You have made your bed, lay in it
>>17007951
The sleeping around doesn't sound like the problem. The problem is cheating. They're not the same thing.
>>17007957
Both can be a problem for someone.
I'd never date a man who's slept around a lot unless he regretted his actions and changed his perspective on sex.
I'm specifically limiting and controlling my lust because I think that it's irresponsible to sleep around and risk getting pregnant when you're not ready for a child- so I want someone with a similar view.
Again, objectivly sex is not bad, but in my personal opinion, sleeping around is irresponsible and I would lose respect for someone as a partner if they thought it was ok.
It's just a disagreement in morals.
>>17007951
This is great advice.. Right down to the last bit about you deciding what you did was wrong... I only mention that because I guess that will be hard for you..
But.. He's right you know!
>>17007969
I agree, and I wish more people thought this way. I like long-term thinkers, not short-term pleasure seekers.
