Any divorce advice for a guy that's more than likely heading that direction? Own a house together and have one kid.
>inb4 "married"
For any anons that think the women your with is different and shit would never hit the fan.... Yeah I thought like that too. DON'T EVER GET MARRIED.
Already been stashing cash for the last couple months now. Going to start selling my smaller not so noticeable stuff very soon. Anything else?
>>17001143
Get everything in order.
I saw it coming. I lied to myself. I was unhappy.
We had a joint account. She cheated on me, kicked me out and moved all the money into her account.
We also had a kid and a house.
I moved cross-country and started life over again.
Best decision ever. In fact, I'm glad I got married at a young age so I could get divorced. Puts shit into perspective.
>>17001160
What happened to your kid? Leaving her hardly bothers me but I can't stand the idea of someone else raising my boy.
>>17001173
She kicked me out and left me with nothing and had her deadbeat boyfriend with a DUI move in.
I see him over Skype.
C'est la vie.
>>17001173
Are you sure he's even yours?
>>17001181
Damn. The one reason I can think of why my wife hasn't done something similar is because she hasn't found a guy willing to take on her baggage yet. Have never met a woman who left a relationship without another sugar daddy to fall back on.
>>17001185
Pretty positive. Would be shocked if he wasn't.
>>17001206
Then leave now before she can ultra-fuck you.
>>17001143
lolol that shit is horrible.
>>17001143
spend as much money on stuff like gold as you can, hide that, then sell the gold. etc. im not sure how much money you make but you're never making that much again.
generally speaking a court tries to leave you with at least 40% of your income, cuz anything less than that would lead to you just quitting your job and no one getting money. 40% is if you earn big, if you earn less who knows what they'd do.
is your wife reasonable?
>>17001181
What state do you live in? Why don't you have custody?
>>17001181
How did she just take your house?
>>17001143
>Already been stashing cash for the last couple months now.
You know she can get access to all your bank accounts going back years, right?
Just get an attorney, settle up and move on.
Divorce happens all the time, just be there for your child.
>>17001239
>>17001241
do you have any idea how divorce works? the woman gets everything the man had then and at least half of everything he could ever have from then on out
it's called equality.
>>17001224
>is your wife reasonable
She can be a huge cunt when pissed and will no doubt be a succubus from hell if word breaks that I'm looking into leaving before she decided to do it herself.
>>17001247
It's not in a bank account. I pull spending cash out(not a lot just enough to not be suspicious) and hide a 1/3 of it. As far as she knows that money is spent and gone.
>>17001239
I lived in Colorado.
Everything went to shit immediately and I needed to leave.
I could have gotten partial custody, but I had to move in with my mom, I mad pretty minimal income at the school I worked at. Also, what happened was we split. I moved out. Then the next morning we met up to discuss divorce more.
Then the next day I crashed my car. Then that evening I came over unannounced with a friend and his trick to get my stuff. She tried locking the door, but let me in. She moved her boyfriend in within 48 hours of kicking me out. Then called the cops on me as I took our mattress, TV and my gun. They just watched.
Then the first day of the school year was the next day, I hadn't slept at all. I was moved to a classroom I didn't want to work in.
An online gaming friend offered me a place to stay. Took the next day off. Got some sleep, thought it over. Looked into some stuff during the day. I packed my shit and left at 10 PM and drove over a thousand miles to Tennessee and started over.
>>17001241
It would have been a pain to kick her out or to stay.
I gave everything to her. Anyway, we're trying to sell the house. She's made one payment on it and the car we co-signed on got repo'd for the same reason.
Our divorce is finalized this month. She kicked me out in beginning to mid-August.
>>17001250
>do you have any idea how divorce works? the woman gets everything the man had then and at least half of everything he could ever have from then on out
>it's called equality.
Yeah, since I've been divorced you fucking retard.
Let me guess, you're a fucking moron.
>>17001143
Look around for a good lawyer if you don't have one already. Also women will usually sideline guys with a divorce but you can talk it through with your soon to be ex, better when you have everything legal in order. Best divorces happen when it's what everyone wants. How old is your kid? Worst thing to happen is for anyone to use him/her as a weapon.
>>17001260
then yeah ur kinda fucked mate. how much do you make?
>>17001262
>An online gaming friend offered me a place to stay. Took the next day off. Got some sleep, thought it over. Looked into some stuff during the day. I packed my shit and left at 10 PM and drove over a thousand miles to Tennessee and started over.
Yeah but what about your child? I don't understand that. You can and should sue for custody, just because your wife is a cunt has no bearing on you as a father.
>>17001262
>Our divorce is finalized this month. She kicked me out in beginning to mid-August.
So you just abandon any equity you have in your house? Why do that? Would you just leave a pile of cash she is sitting on?
You have a down payment in the house, right?
Just because this is emotionally difficult doesn't mean you shouldn't get what's rightfully yours.
Contact an attorney, or DIY; it's pretty easy to file the paperwork about custody, division of assets, etc.
Don't let her take everything because you're hurt, be business-like.
You have a child, and you need to take responsibility. Don't be a little bitch and just abandon everything.
>>17001271
14 months
>>17001272
40k
>>17001293
Why do people do this to themselves?
Were your parents happily married or something?
>>17001288
And BTW, it doesn't matter if you're in a different state. You would still get custody / visitation.
As opposed to the fucking retards on this site, most courts are favorable to a father's visitation rights and realize a child should have both parents.
You should make a fucking effort to be there for your kid; how the fuck would you feel if your dad skipped out and you never saw him? Like shit.
Your ex is a bitch, so fucking what. Be there for your kid. She'll make it difficult. Hang in there.
>>17001299
My parents are still married after 40+ years. Sure they have had rough patches but seem mostly happy.
>>17001288
I'll explain why.
My wife is horrible with money. We owned the house for a year. I was dumb and I had saddled pretty much all the debt for the shit we needed.
So, I have huge payments that need to be made.
The house has barely any equity in it.
I've been DIY, but we're just selling the house. We won't get any money off of it because no payments have been made since I left. If there is, then we split the equity.
My dad told me not to fight for anything because he's paying my massive amounts of debt currently and will not help me if I fight her or make this ugly.
I don't give a fuck about her, to be frank. I was miserable and I wanted to divorce her.
People are of no worth to me. I float freely and do my own thing. She will do what she wants to raise our son and there's nothing I can do to fix it.
So why bother or worry anymore?
I had nothing before I met her. Even after losing everything, I came out with more than I had before.
>>17001330
OK, so if you're in debt no use in splitting assets; you have none.
But you should raise your son, what the fuck kind of retard are you?
That's your son. You're going to regret not being there when you're older, and you'll regret it for decades.
You'll always feel guilt about it, and your son will never forgive you.
Make a fucking effort; he's your son and he needs you.
>>17001347
I didn't say I wasn't going to be around or going to visit. And I get him for summers after he turns five.
Beyond that, I have no control over how she raises him. And she'll do it poorly.
>>17001357
Why would you want your son to be raised poorly? Jesus fucking christ.
You can get join custody, even w/o physical custody. Meaning you have a say on schooling, trips, etc. She can't leave the state w/o notice.
You just need to file some paperwork with the court, you'll get visitation. You should have it set by the court, why leave it up to the whims of your ex? That's fucking stupid.
You have a child, you are a father. You now have a responsibility to help raise that child.
Sorry for the dose in reality, but what we don't need is more assholes being raised without a father.
Step up and be a father. You picked a bad relationship, most of us have. Being a father is NOT related to that.
>>17001357
Get it in writing, via a custodial arrangement / the courts. Why depend on her if she's in a good mood or not?
That's stupid. Get your visitation / custody in writing, and be there for your son.
It's what you would have wanted as a young boy.
>>17001370
as noble as your intentions are, you arent in his shoes. a parent cant really 'half raise' a child when the other parent is doing something more destructive. we all want to be there 24/7 and raise our kids perfectly, but men are bread winners so are barely aroudn to begin with. imagine 50/50 custody where your kid has to constantly go back and forth, never gets to have regularly scheduled friend time cuz (I STOPPED LOVING YOUR MOM SO YOU GOTTA HANG OUT IWHT ME WHEN IM FREE) and even then you'd still have the mom doing what she does that you cant control.
yes, its the easy way out to just let the son be rasied by the mother. but frankly i dont blame him. it beats spending your whole life trying to be there for some one you know you wont be able to be there for
>>17001143
if its important to you put it in sombody elses name and write a recipt for it. otherwise you will lose it because all assets will be sold and or divided between you.
>>17001383
I... did. It's in our divorce agreement.
I never said it was verbal. Jesus Christ.
And as a young boy, I had a stepdad and my father did the same thing to me and sent my mother money and I saw him in the summers and for a year or two as I grew up.
>>17001370
>>17001393
>>17001383
>>17001390
I already have all of this in place. The reason I didn't pursue full custody is because of exactly what >>17001390 said. The initial agreement was I would get him on year and she'd get him the next. But that's a lot on a kid. He's only an infant. I can't cart him back and forth between states every year. I have to make some sacrifices for my son's well-being.
I have visitation, I have a say in all the rights. I have times I get him. I send his mom child support. I get all the rights I can.
Fighting for more custody would be a battle and a battle I can't afford to fight and I may not even win if I do fight it.
I love how people get so angry on here about unwed parents or single moms when the married ones can't figure things out either...
As if it isn't better for a kid to be raised by a stable, single mother than go through a messy divorce at a tender young age.
>>17001412
to be honset i think you are NOT being selfish in this scenario. but i was the 'as noble as your intentions are' guy.
moving around sucks, i was a military kid, i did 5 highschools. but moving every year to be with a new parent with new rules, who you only 'visited' a little bit for the last year would be nightmare mode. every year your old friends would forget you and make new ones. you'd never stand a chance socially. you could never hold down a solid girlfriend. high school is a nightmare when your credits bounce around. so much of our childhoods had very little to do with our parents. and he'd miss out on a LOT of that. i find it really selfish when parents try to split custody so much that kids never get to have sleepovers with friends.
especially as an infant, how is he supposed to process this shit? one year he has a mom next a dad he cant remember? than that mom he cant remember? ugh.
you're a good dad anon.
>>17001420
>As if it isn't better for a kid to be raised by a stable, single mother than go through a messy divorce at a tender young age.
The problem is the majority of single mothers are not stable. The fact is after race, the next best indicator of crime is if the person came from a single mother household.
If you're a single mother who has their shit together, more power to you. But your sisters in arms generally don't.
>>17001524
im curious, are there statistics abotu single fathers? i would like to believe the issue is just being a single parent, as opposed to being a single mom.
>>17001530
>are there statistics abotu single fathers?
Doubtful, if just because of how lopsided the populations are. But I may very well be wrong.
>>17001420
its strange, like people dont realize relationships and marriage rarely work out
>>17001143
You sound like you weren't ready for marriage. Maybe you should have spent more time with your bitch before puttin a ring on it.
>>17001530
men are less likely to care for kids, cheat, remarry, dont stick around, more likely to be druggies/criminals/rapists/pedos and less likely to settle down in general
in b4 people get mad. Just stating generals it's not 100% but more in one direction than the other
couple that with a culture that isn't strict about marriage/divorce rates
>>17001617
are they? my point was simply that i tihnk a single parent is what causes a crime rate, not a single mother.
>>17001299
My parents and both couples of grandparents are/were happily married once and forever. My parents have been going for 22 years and my grandparents from age 18 until their spouses died. I want to get married but extremely nervous about being the fuckup
>>17001143
Hold on to your child for as long as possible, courts will often give the wife custody, just get a good lawyer so you don't lose your child
>>17001143
>not having the source of your depression be unrelated to your love life
AAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TIME TO START A NEW AAVE FILE
do you think you'll ever try to get with another woman again?
Female here I am sorry that you gentlemen are treated this way by our legal system. I wish it was 50/50 and that the woman also had to give the father money when he was caring for the kid. It is unfair, it basically sets up the father to look like a douche. I am also sorry that marriage did not work out I hope you are all able to find love in whatever way you feel that is best it be your career or just the little things in life.
I agree. I'm getting divorced after 10 years of marriage, 12 together, 2 awesome kids. It's a fucking expensive soul-crushing experience. We were in love for a long time. Kids -- DON:T GET MARRIED!!!
