I hear that 99% of long distance and internet relationships fail. People who were in or know personal examples of the 1%, what made that case different?
What do you consider "not failing"?
Been in a long term/long distance relationship for 9 years now, but we live close enough to each other to see each other every other weekend or so. Probably moving in together as soon as we can afford it.
>>16999201
>What do you consider "not failing"?
Not breaking up because of reasons closely tied to the distance. In my case I'm tempted to with this girl in Portugal (I'm in the USA), I bond with her way better than anyone from my home country, and there's a real possibility of closing the distance in the next 2-4 years since she wants to do her PhD here, in the same field I do. Not only that, distance is inevitable if I succeed in my career goal of working in Antarctica.
>>16999190
What's wrong man?
Can't find any local grils?
Surprise: 99% of all relationships fail.
>>16999335
Oh, I mean I can, but someone who really hits it out of the park for me happens to be long distance. I also generally get along with Europeans better than people from my own country, so there's that to.
>>16999190
The key in my experience is to find a happy balance between clingy and apparent lack of effort to stay connected. Too clingy and the relationship burns out, not clingy enough and you drift apart. Hope this helps, OP.
>>16999397
You just said it. Life's a bitch, you ain't gonna get the best without giving something up. If you want her, you wait. Because like you said, no local girls do it for you
>>16999190
There are two kinds of LDRs: One where theyve already known each other (not necessarily already in a romantic relationship) and one moved away, or one where theyve never met in person.
The second one is usually a pathetic setup for failure. They say that you dont know someone unless youve lived with them, well how well do you really know them if youve never even seen them face to face.
Me and my ex met online. We broke up over irl communication issues and to take time to work on our individual lives [school, work, therapy] and progress as people before reconsidering. We met on a 4chan related tinychat, and talked for about a year before meeting irl. Started to like each other and began dating, visited each other an average of about 7 days out of each month during the six months we dated long distance (3 hours away). I think we could have survived far fewer visits, but it helped. He moved in after 6 months of dating and a year and a half of being best friends. We lived together for a year and want to get back together soon.
>>16999562
Obviously that's usually the case, but I've seen a handful where it works quite well and I was curious what made those different.
>>16999470
You're almost correct.
The two people need to be the same level of needy. My bf and I are both very clingy and I love it.
Mine failed and i can say it was because of the long distance, but not inherently because of the long distance.
I got lazy and didn't put the extra effort in that is required like i used to in the earlier days. They can work, but you have to put more effort in that you would normally, if you don't you'll fall apart.
In general i learned that no matter how much you love each other and are right for each other, love alone is not enough to make a relationship work, you need to put in the effort. And the effort should be fun if you're into each other.
Theres tons of ways to make LDR work if you google it. But there does need to be an endgame where you get together though.
