If it's that bad, consider a crisis line; you don't have to be suicidal, but it's someone to listen non-judgmentally. They can help you in the immediate term.

But in the morning, start calling mental health places. You seem very unstable, which I can sympathize with.

Myself I'm seeing a therapist (for talking things out) and a nurse practitioner (for meds).

Why has everyone walked out on you OP? There must be a reason, especially your grandfather...

>>16997989
>The man who taught me to read, write, ride a bike, fish, shoot a gun, talk, and how to defend myself doesn't even want to speak to me.
Geez. I'm sorry to hear that.

Any odea what was going through his head? I'm not saying his reasons were good -they probably aren't- but it would be useful to know.

>>16998043
>>16998033

He started working the night shift so we hardly spoke, and when we did he would yell at me about random shit. Not having a steady job, shit I did when I was a kid, etc.

>>16997989
First of all, never give your bulldog a bubble bath, dumbfuck. Second, it sounds like everyone, including most here, are tired of you being a whiny loser. Grow the fuck up.

Take a deep breath.
Slow down a bit.
I don't know you, your situation, but maybe what you need is to take a break from your thoughts, quit it, and wonder.... "am I doing something wrong" "and I acting inappropriately?". And then also thing "what is THEIR baggage?!" Some times it isn't about you, but about what THEY are going through.
Maybe try to *slow down* and just be present.
Good luck

If you are being judged because of who you are, don't listen. You don't have to change yourself for anyone. I am in the same boat as you. Some of us are just meant to be alone, in order to better ourselves.

I'm not sure if you do this or not, but video games can be a very good help in keeping you occupied. I like to play company of heroes, and my friend recently got me into a pvp game wizard wars. These are the types of games that can help ease your mind and keep you occupied until you are ready to deal with the problems. That's how it worked for me.

>>16999004
No offence mate but that is some pretty shitty advice. If the people that love you the most are walking out on you, you must be doing something wrong. Try talking with him and seeing it from his point of view. I don't know your exact circumstances, but it seems video games etc may be the problem. Grandparents tend to be quite traditional and he probably wants you to get a job, work hard and see you on your way in life. Remember he probably wants the best for you (unless he is a totally heartless bastard, which I doubt).

>>16997989
>everyone leave me!
>surely it must be them that is the problem!
lol