when to break up
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
If I think about breaking up with my gf sometimes, do I just need to man up and do it? She's great, and only wants to make me happy, and when I think about being without her I'm sad but also not totally torn up.
Does the mere fact that I have considered ending it multiple times mean I should just do it already?
If I have to ask these questions does that make it obvious?
All her friends are also my friends...there's like this social pressure to keep this thing going so it's not awkward.
I'm also probably moving to another city (5+ hours away) in a couple months and have always hated the idea of a long distance relationship
Sounds like you want to do it but are afraid of social repercussions, being alone, and hurting your gf's feeling. You seem like a good dude and nice people feel conflicted about this stuff
You don't need a reason to end it, if a relationship isn't vibing with you anymore than that's enough, but doing what you want is seen as selfish and rude so it's harder to just act on your emotions, you know?
How old are you OP?
>>16996011
I'm 22, and it's not like it's my first relationship.
I feel pressured to at least keep it going until I move away, which I know is selfish. It's not like I can't stand being with her, we always have fun together.
However there are frequent arguments, she can get pissed just from me saying something the wrong way. Tbh, she just seems kind of immature. She's pretty conservative, but a bit dirty in the bedroom. I was her first time, but before me she had dated a guy 10 years older than her and others so it's not like I'm the first guy she's been in a relationship with her
>>16996022
Hey OP, was having the same ruminations as you. Broke up with my girlfriend yesterday. I figured that if I'd been thinking about it that many times, it would have been unfair to continue the relationship and string her along. She was also in a place of her life where she needs to do something and I'm more established and looking to travel, so there was that too (she's 20, I'm 26).
Basically, I'd get it out of the way as soon as you can. I had to wait until the end of a holiday we'd booked months ago but I managed that long and simply had to pull the pin because I felt so guilty about continuing it.
God speed friend.
OP here: I guess I should add that she's still in college with a year left so she can't exactly move away with me...I feel like she's dependent on me or something....any advice is appreciated
>>16996068
Thanks dude. I know that doing it soon would be the right thing to do. I'm torn between the comfortable situation I'm in now and being free to do my own thing. I want to travel and honestly I want to explore other relationships. When I think about staying with her for the rest of my life it's not terrible but at the same time I feel locked in.
How did you explain it? I struggle to come up with one solid reason for doing it.
bumpo
>>16996003
Homie I was in the same situation. If you're going to break it off break it fast and savage with no dancing around the issue. Yeah it's going to hurt but it fades
>>16996003
I broke up with my girlfriend of almost five years after having similar thoughts for quite a while. I'm pretty sure it was the hardest thing I've ever done but I don't regret it now, six months later.
Just ask yourself this: would you be relieved if she broke up with you tomorrow?
I should add that we've only been together since the end of last year, so it's by no means a long term thing right now. But damn, this shit is fucking hard.
There are still happy times with her, but when we fight I just feel like I'd be better without the added stress.
>>16996003
there is no perfect time to play the mr asshole card. because there will be a birthday or a wedding or another event she will drag you to or be part of.
>JUST CUT THE FUCKING CORD!
if you dont want her let her go sure she will cry etc but both of you will get over it...
