Fear of Romance
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I think I might have a serious deep-rooted fear when it comes to relationships, sex, and women.
Although I have the common anxiety issues, I don't have problems with self-esteem (I think) and do well in public speaking. I'm fairly fit, and have been called attractive multiple times. I fit in pretty well socially (exceptional amongst guys) and in groups I tend to be one of the funniest and active.
However, I can't really grasp the concept of me being romantic or sexual with women, like it is something that is completely taboo. I mean I've had many girls show pretty heavy interest in me but I always become avoidant, pretend to be oblivious and cold when it happens. I've even had dreams in which I end up cucking my own self from ready and willing partners, basically Ive never had a real wet-dream. Even just touching them accidentally makes me jump and pull back as if I hit them with a bat or something.
Consequently, I have no understanding of how relationships, boundaries (as anything outside of a handshake feels like I'm trespassing), and flirtatious communication work.
I'm not entirely sure what is wrong with me or if this is result of bullying or whatever but if anybody can offer insight or help please reply.
I'm not a guy, but I was a lot like that all the way until I was finished with high school and in my 20s.
Did your parents have a good relationship? Mine didn't, and I think that had a negative impact on me, and made me very afraid of anything past friendship.
>>16994844
My parents are quite the opposite, they've been together for over 20 yrs and get along great.
I've never seen them "express their love" however, they kiss but I cant imagine them being sexual with one another.
Additionally, they have never had "the talk" with me. Maybe this is where this where it is rooted?
>>16994860
Hmm I couldn't tell you. It might not be "rooted" in anything specific, it might just be something you have that you've got to conquer.
I know it sounds cliche, but perhaps you haven't met the right person for you yet. That was definitely true for me. I didn't have any kind of attraction, romantic or physical, for anyone until I met and grew close with my now significant other.
Have you ever had a very deep, platonic friendship with a girl?
>>16994878
>Have you ever had a very deep, platonic friendship with a girl?
At least three, eventually they all caught feelings for me which kinda strained the friendship but to answer the question, yes.
>>16994892
I know this is probably another cliche answer, but have you considered therapy? I did it and I highly recommend it. It really helped me in all facets of my life, and it can be very effective for fears and anxiety.
>>16994904
I will look into it. I do realize that my question does put /adv/ into the position of personal therapist but thanks, seriously.
>>16994920
Best of luck, anon. I know you can do it. I did, and I was terrified. I have absolutely no regrets. My relationship is still young, but it's now one of the most important and wonderful things in my life.
