how do you find friends and people that you can really trust? what kind of people are typically the most trust-worthy?
if it matters, i'm female and would prefer finding female friends.
Simple reminder... Keep your enemies close, and your friends closer.
If you want someone to be open with you, you must first be open with them. I'm not saying you should emotionally barf on people, but when someone says, "Hey, how are you?", answer honestly. Or, if you're having a rough time then you should ask if they are willing to listen to you. Most people love it when someone confides in them, it shows that the person is willing to trust them.
>>16994160
Keep meeting new people. The more social you become, the easier it becomes to weed out the good from the bad. It takes time though, obviously. The introverts usually tend to be more trustworthy, especially if you coax them out of being total shut ins - then they become loyal and more fun in addition
>>16994176
No, fuck this. This is not a good thing to follow for people living in peaceful society. An "enemy" is someone that tries to kill you. Some bitch that doesn't like the you or whatever isn't worth wasting time thinking about.
>>16994176
>>16994178
hm, well to be honest i'm almost friendless. (later down this post you'll know why too) i mostly cut contact with people who i find out to be back-stabbers or generally awful people. i don't see the reason in keeping those types of people in my life.
i have one friend who i thought was my best friend, but she was just really good at keeping her two-facedness and did everything in her power to keep me "unpopular" while raising her own status. so... she ended up being my only "friend".
people typically like me and my sense of humor. i'm easy enough to get along with. but it's harder to find someone i click with and can trust.
i'm also horrible at judging character apparently. i just need some pointers and tips to look out for in people.
>>16994186
thanks, good points. i'll look for the more introverted types then and hopefully find some new people who won't fuck me over.
>>16994186
The introvert thing is pretty good advice, IMO. People that are willing to sit in silence in a social situation have a hard time making friends, and are usually very accepting of others that approach them despite their quirks.
I can be your friend :)
I don't care if this sounds edgy but I don't really trust anyone anymore.
Tldr version
>best friends since kindergarten
>over 20 years of friendship
>godfather of my kid
>lol cheated you with your wife
So now I don't have any real friends, just random pals who I sometimes go out with and just talk about useless shit.
>>16994186
>then they become loyal and more fun in addition
Sounds like bs desu senpai
>>16994252
agreed, my sister is one person that i can trust out of anyone in the world. she's also the biggest introvert that i know of. dunno why it didn't strike me to search for this type. i suppose because they tend to blend in and are kind of cold.
>>16994303
you live in canada, ontario anon?
>>16994318
jesus christ. i thought guys had it easier in the "trustworthy friends" department. you see so many guys "bro-around" and do stupid shit together. i honestly envy that so much... i want female friends who can do that with me.
i'd be open to male friends, but my boyfriend would probably disapprove and in my experience, it's never worked out because they end up getting feelings for me and it gets awkward.
maybe it might work if i found a gay friend or a guy friend who is extremely out of my league so i can friendzone myself and not have to worry about him catching feels. (i wouldn't catch feels since i have a specific fetish for the type of guys i'm into)
>>16994160
>what kind of people are typically the most trust-worthy?
People with autistic features tend to be reliable friends. No wild emotional swings, no drama, no misinterpreting minor things you say as grave insults, etc.
Also, introverts are generally less likely to participate in drama, spread rumors, reveal secrets, etc, and they tend to have a few important friendships rather than many casual ones.
>i mostly cut contact with people who i find out to be back-stabbers or generally awful people.
>she was just really good at keeping her two-facedness
>i'm also horrible at judging character apparently. i just need some pointers and tips to look out for in people.
The good thing about introverts is that, unlike extroverts, they are less skilled at and inclined to hiding their true thoughts and feelings and presenting a fake "mask" to the world ("social adroitness"). They're more likely to tell you the truth than what they think you want to (or what they want you to) hear.
This doesn't mean that they can't be assholes, liars, manipulative pricks, lunatics, rapists, etc: just that they can't hide it very well. On top of that, because they're less socially oriented (they don't use other people to feel good/solve problems/etc less often since they can't and don't want to manipulate them), they're less inclined to the kind of sociopathic behavior you described.
This chart can help illustrate that: it shows how often certain disorders co-occured in a meta-analysis. Since we're interested in avoiding "sociopathic"/"dark triad" features (machiavellian, antisocial, narcissistic) and emotional instability, look at the columns ASPD (antisocial), BPD (borderline), HPD (histrionic), NPD (narcissistic), and PAPD (passive-aggressive): notice that they have the lowest correlations with SzPD (schizoid), AvPD (avoidant), and OCPD (obsessive-compulsive).
Probably more than you wanted to hear but got a little carried away.
>>16994211
kek
