Me vs Single Life
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
So, this is dumb. The girl I liked was a few months out of a long term relationship (4 years) when I told her I had feelings for her. She said she didn't want anyone, just wants to be single. She didn't have the guts to outright say she didn't want me and strung me along for a while, but that's beside the point.
My stupid brain keeps making me feel like shit whenever I see/hear/perceive something about her single life because it makes me think 'she didn't want me, she wants that instead (casual sex, getting stupid drunk, clubbing hookups)'.
Of course, it felt shitty to be rejected, but it's shittier to think that this girl would rather choose a sad, self-destructive lifestyle over what could have been something awesome for both of us.
I was a little delusional, but I'm not autistic. There was enough there between us for me to confidently act on my feelings, but now, with me trying to break off those feelings, I'm having trouble healing my hurt pride over that aspect of it, that she found single life more attractive than what I had to offer.
Whisper me sweet nothings, /adv/. Help me set this straight in my head: why do people want to be single and promiscuous? I respect that people have different preferences, but for some reason it makes me sad to see her doing the things she does; sad for her (even though she wants it) and terrible about myself.
>>16993318
if she got into a relationship with you after only a few months out of her last one, it WOULD NOT HAVE WORKED. even a little bit. she wants to forget about her old bf and find herself again. she would be comparing you to him, thinking about things he did differently, etc. she made the right choice by not doing that to either of you. it's her right to decide what to do with her life, she rejected you, get over it my dude.
>>16993329
Fuck, it's just hit me hard. Yeah, I did a dumb thing. I don't want to descend into self-pity and I'm trying not to be bitter about it because I understand as best I can where she's at and I do care about her.
I only posted this thread to appease that neurotic little part of me that stops me from letting go completely and encourages that self-pity, those feelings of shittiness. I want to be able to deal with that.
U dont spill ur feelings on a girl. Thats feminine as fuck. And u gotta let her emotional wounds heal.
>>16993380
Shit, dude. I'm a sensitive guy. If that's feminine, then so be it. I'm not going to pretend to be anything else.
I get your point. I seriously underestimated how much time it would take for her to deal with her break up. I shouldn't have put something like that on her.
>>16993318
>she found single life more attractive than what I had to offer
You have no idea this is the reason. You have no idea what went through/is going through her head. Stop comparing yourself to "the single life" because you don't know that that was the actual decision. She rejected you; her loss. Anything beyond that isn't worth ruminating over.
Rejection is hard, so have a few drinks and throw yourself a pity party for a day or two. But then move on and do something else with your time.
>>16993399
Have fun being rejected by girls then. Women want a man, not a wimp. I know it sucks that guys like you and me have to be criticized to this perfect stamdard of an emotionless masculine man. But fuck it bro if u want to get the puss puss u gotta not give a fuck
>>16993400
I've got to rein in my propensity for over thinking. It's really not doing me any favours. Thanks for the guidance.
>>16993408
Whatever, man. I can fend for myself without compromising my integrity. That might not be worth much to some, but that's their choice.
