Long story short, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me while he was completely drunk. I was 100% sober.
I asked him to look me in the eye and tell me that our relationship was something he longer wanted, that he longer wanted me and he did. When he sobered up a bit half a day later, he immediately regretted it and told me he still wants me. Deeply apologetic and kept saying that he made a mistake that we could move past.
This came out of nowhere for me. We don't fight and if we have problems, we discuss and try to fix them. This was my best relationship yet. For him to flip a switch like this was totally unexpected and unlike him.
The damage has already been done though; I'm emotionally scarred and paranoid that something like this will happen again later if I decide to forgive him and continue this relationship.
I should just end this, right?
Yes you should end it. Maybe next time look for a guy who doesn't drink :/
He was drunk. Let is slide once, but only once.
I never understand doing rational things like this when drinking. When Im wasted I never even consider making really really stupid or rash decisions. Then again, I only drink once a month. If hes an alcoholic Id consider either dumping him or trying to get him help if you really love him.
No, of course you shouldn't end it. Why would you ask him something like that while he was drunk? What did you expect to happen?
You may have heard people say that drunkenness just lowers inhibitions but doesn't actually make us do things we don't want to do. That somehow it reveals our "true feelings".
That's bullshit. Complete bullshit. I've said things while drunk that are flat out lies for seemingly no reason.
You need to have a good hard think about why you did this to him. Did you think you could "catch him out"? Why don't you trust your boyfriend when he says he loves you?
Are you fucking serious? He was drunk, get over yourself and forgive him.
>>16992944
He said it was over before I even asked him to be sure of it. What was I supposed to do? Let him tell me it's over and then ignore it because he was drunk?
He's probably cheating.
>>16992923
he was drunk, he might have done that because it was funny at the moment.
>>16992938
This. And only because you've been together 2 years.
>>16992962
I see, that changes things. Your post could have been worded better, or maybe I'm just stupid. I thought you asked him that question out of the blue and that was the "break up". If he broke up with you and then you asked, that certainly changes things.
Well in that case, I would say the complete opposite. You shouldn't forgive him. Even if you do so now, this has done irreparable damage to your relationship, and it will only end later down the line. Save yourself the heartache.
>>16992968
Telling your gf you want to break up is funny?
>>16992958
>>16992944
>>16992938
>acting like being drunk is a free pass to do stupid shit
If someone cheats on you while they were drunk should you forgive them because they drunk? Come on, you're better than this.
If he said it while drunk then he's been thinking about it while sober.
>>16992982
Sorry I really could've worded it better.
He told me it was over after we had sex. Right after this happened was when I asked to confirm that this was what he wanted and he did.
But thank you for the advice. I'll end this before it gets worse later.
>>16992986
>Telling your gf you want to break up is funny?
It might be, to someone completely pissed.
It's not a pass to DO stupid shit, but to SAY stupid shit? that's different.
Look at it from an other point of view: OP wants to break up with her bf... for something he said while he was drunk. You can't make that shit up, is she serious?
>>16993007
It's not just saying stupid shit, he wanted to break up with her. That IS doing stupid shit.
>>16993007
>Look at it from an other point of view: OP wants to break up with her bf... for something he said while he was drunk
It depends on what was said. In this case OP sounds reasonable to me.
>>16992997
Ahh, the old post-coital clarity. The tactical orgasm. The wisdom wank.
When in doubt, rub one out.
Masturbate; re-evaluate.
A man's mind is the clearest with a sticky tip.
Or as the Japanese call it, Kenjataimu
Yeah, you definitely need to end it.
>>16993020
>>16993029
The only action taken was to SAY stuff. Hurtful stuff, but still, just drunken words.
If OP can't laugh about what a drunk might say, then she's not someone that her bf can drink around. That's a very basic level of trust, I'd take it for granted in a couple. How can they even function as a couple if they can't even get drunk around each other, how guarded do they need to be?
>>16992997
wtf.
anyway, this makes it funny enough for drunken humor, since you raped him (he was drunk, you were not).
the delivery of the joke sucked, and it wasn't funny anyway, but again, he was drunk.
>>16993056
OP here, saying dumb shit while drunk is forgivable. If he had resorted to namecalling or giving me shit over some issue, that's fine.
But there's a line for me somewhere and I feel like this was it. It's a big red flag for me that he wanted to just end it, even if he's wasted. That meant he had serious doubts and had thought about this while sober as well.
>>16992923
Seeing as he was drunk, I'll need more information:
Are you two good together?
Where was he drinking?
Who was he drinking with?
How did he get home from drinking (if applicable)?
Have you both had any problems recently?
>>16993122
>Are you two good together?
Yes
>Where was he drinking?
We were together at a bar.
>Who was he drinking with?
His brother was there too. They both got wasted. I can't drink whatsoever.
>How did he get home from drinking (if applicable)?
I drove him home.
>Have you both had any problems recently?
Nope. No fights, no anything. We've always tried to communicate our problems if any and there hadn't been any recently.
>>16993102
>That meant he had serious doubts and had thought about this while sober as well.
I wouldn't read so much into it. it's ofren not true, idea associations happen.
If you want to do that anyway, I suggest you never drink anymore with the people you love, you'll just get hurt for no reason.
Think of it this way. Was he sober enough to give consent? Was he capable of making real decisions, such as writing a will, or signing a contract?
>>16992923
While drunk, people say stuff they wouldn't say while sober. If that's the case you should dump him, but if not I don't know.
But if you want to know, I probably would dumb him because I don't think you should get a free card just because you're drunk. You decided to drink so what you do while you're drunk is your responsibility.
I hate alcohol and I don't like drunk people though so you should take that in consideration if you must.
I'm sorry it happened, but do what you feel like. I just think you're stupid if you make the same mistake twice. If it's the first time and you guys are good, maybe it's not a big deal (maybe not).
>>16993172
No, which is why I put thought into forgiving him as well.
However, this cut me bad and whenever I talk to him or see him now, all I can think about is what happened and what will happen if we continue this.
He's making a promise to not drink again, that he'll be a better person, that he still loves me, etc. and it's hard to accept all of that now.
I got drunk & while fucking my husband, pushed him off me, told him he was a little dick faggot that never makes me cum.. Got up then spit in his face. I was black out drunk.. Didn't remember it at all. And it was a total lie.. So maybe give him a second chance because alcohol makes us do and say really stupid shit sometimes x_o
FFS forgive him once and no more.
I don't understand the retards who think beer is some magical personality altering thing. I have yet to meet a person who flips a switch and becomes bipolar when drunk. If anything it's the drug version of "haha im joking you can't get mad! I said I was joking!"
Why the hell would he even say that out of the blue to you?
Ill put it as this.
When I was drunk once, I peed on some randoms car, then broke the cars windows with my feet and peed inside, tried to burn insides but friends stopped me.
The other time, I legitly punched my best friend in the jaw because he refused to give me a chair so I could sit..
you got the point, people do (some people) irrational and fucked up stuff when they're drunk. so give him another chance. you can break up anyday anyway but you cant be together anyday if you split up :b
>>16994467
It takes away inhibitions, and makes you more stupid. Can also remove memory of what happened.
It doesn't change your basic personality, so if you act over the top (in the last 3 posts you have people spitting on their bf, or peeing in a random car! that's way over the line) maybe there are some deeper issues, but if they say stupid hurtful shit while drunk, either you can take it or you shouldn't drink or be near people who drink.
End it... stuff like this doesn't come out of nowhere.. it's somewhere in his mind. The alcohol just made him tell the truth. If it had been in an argument and he was drunk but... out of nowhere? Better move on, won't get happy with this.
>>16992938
He was drunk, he showed his true colours. Don't let it slide, this anon doesn't even know what he talks about.
