So hello /adv, I am going to cry my sorry ass to you again...
About one month ago, a guy I crazily fell in love with left me in the most insolent and hostile way I could imagine. His last words to me were "don't fucking touch me", so you can imagine how the rest went.
I begged him yo stay like an honourless vagina that I am. He just laughed and walked off his direction.
So, ever since that day I have been finding it very difficult to cope. I literally cannot sleep nor eat. I can only smoke cigarettes, it is my only fuel. I have dreams about him, which dont let me sleep. Extremely anxious all the time.
My girl friends seem to have given up on me now, apart from one, my closest, whom I absolutely admire for her patience and wisdom.
I find it very difficult to control myself even from little things like messaging him on Facebook, so I just asked him to block me - I think that if he is in charge of the block button it will definitely stop me from writing to him, making even worse fool of myself.
This seems to have broken some chains.
I have a problem with the recollections, as in everything reminds me of him so much I stopped going to college. I try to avoid him as much as I can, but subconsciously I keep on looking out for him.
I dont think I ever went through a worse break up before. I lost about 15kg within a month. I cant start eating again even if I try.
Please help.
Continued: He left me for his friend, I forgot to add.
It will get better. You can't really do anything except try to keep yourself busy. I'm sorry you have to go through something like that
Take no offense to any of this.
You seem needy, somewhat codependent and incredibly insecure. Whether or not you love him, you should have the ability to compartmentalize enough to avoid stalking him at the very least. You lack self control. He shouldn't need to block you in order for contact between you and him to cease. I understand loving someone who doesn't love you back, but it comes to a point when you need to question why it was difficult for him to love you. Don't recess into those bullshit Pinterest ideals like, "if you can't love me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best." That's only partially true. If you love someone, and more importantly if you love yourself, you make active efforts not to be at your worst. Everyone has low moments. But assuming that anyone owes you anything is wrong. Stop focusing on him. With or without him life goes on and time passes. It sounds stupid but its true. You're putting the power of your happiness in everyone around you, your love interest, your friends, etc. None of that should matter if you have a solid foundation of self. To get to the point, every time you feel a negative feeling or thought in your mind, question it. Why does it bother you? What can you do to better yourself in this moment so that this feeling or thought is more manageable? Aka work on yourself. Work on becoming some bad ass mother fucker that you're legitimately in your heart proud to be. It'll be hard but either way time passes, why not use said time to improve yourself rather than wallowing. After a while you'll start to notice how people respond to you differently. You'll notice how little you care how people respond to you, you like who you are either way. Right now you have a choice to be weak and allow your feelings and thoughts and relationships to guide your actions and choices, or you can woman the fuck up and combat the negative parts of yourself and come out on the other side of this a baller ass bitch. Its entirely up to you.
>>16992593
Wisdom!
These are actually kind words rather than offensive. I do tend to put too much of my own happiness into others, because I feel like it's my purpose to make them happy.
I know how ridiculously it sounds, but I have difficulties changing that mindset. I am really trying, and I decided to cut the "unnecessary" characters out of my life entirely lately.
Insecurities only kicked in when he started seeing the other girl and it is still fairly disarming feeling to be honest.
I fight with myself, I even went to see the doctor a few times, but I just have the difficulty making the most basic tasks. I try to improve, to question, but I find it easier said than done.
>>16992608
I know it's difficult. But strength doesn't come from comfort. Nothing worth having ever came from comfort. Everything worth having takes a lot of hard work and determination to change. It isn't fun but the payout is immeasurable. Fucking up equals growth.
How's that for a fucking Pinterest ideal.
>>16992678
It just sucks to be a hopeless romantic in this hook up society, ha.
Yeah, fuck up is growth.
As in, what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger, right?
>>16992729
You're not a hopeless romantic. Don't romanticize it. You're a person not a victim capiche? Go out and slay.
>>16992800
I try to focus on different things.
I try to believe in myself.
I will try to "slay".
>>16992549 I can't get over you till you get out from under him
Here something you should ask yourself
"Why should I care about someone who doesn't care about me?"
you most likely did something to him because you didnt describe what led to the breakup and because he was so hostile towards you. If you are a girl, just use online dating and go on dates with guys you think are cute, it will give you a boost of confidence and it will make getting over him easier. He's not jesus and they're better guys out there, there always is someone better, you cant let one person dictate your life
sounds like you need to orally injest a substantial quantity of hypochlorite, homosexual.
i'm the most lost i've been in a while
my ex and my best friend secretly fucked multiple times behind my back. i'v been together with her for a year.
her reasoning is i had been cold to her because apparently i was treating her like shit and being cold not responsive to her. she thought i was about to break up with her
i wasn't. i was just depressed
they saw 4 times in 3 week period. i've read their chat logs. they conversed that they what they were doing was horrible and expressed regret and hatred towards themselves
she is currently breaking down, freaking out, saying she doesn't deserve me and is begging me for forgiveness . she is threating to end herself and is cutting herself and shit
i've already beat the living shit out of this friend.
he's also cried to me out of guilt and forgiveness and claims he did it out of vulnerability because of how horrible he felt that his recent gf broke up with him.
she tells me she was vulnerable, blackout drunk, and weak everytime. he would enable her, manipulate he with affection and get her drunk.
i've never had this happen. i'm confused.
i still love her as an individual. she's the closest person i have. and i'm the closest person she has. these are facts
i hate the fact that she is still my 'distant partner' for the time being as i'm figuring out what to do
i don't know what to do
i'm so confused
can this be salvaged???????
>>16992678
A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
>>16995738
My friend, please listen.
Cheating is the end of the line, every time. If they are the type of person to cheat once, they're the type of person to do it again. They just are, inherently.
You need to cut them both out. Delete their numbers, remove them from social media. If you see them in public tell them you need to move on and if they ever cared they would understand.
You'll think about it every day, every night. Then you'll think about it less and less. And it will hurt less and less. It will never be forgotten but it won't be any different from any other memory of a time that sucked.
>>16992549
you again ?
more pics pls :)
>>16992549
I'm in the same broat.
