is being content with yourself without being in a relationship a real thing? are you happy by yourself or do you feel alone without a gf /adv/?
I'm not in a relationship and am completely satisfied with this arrangement, though I am admittedly somewhat excited about the prospect of dating once I start school again in the fall.
I've been single for 3 years (but I've been seeing girls off and on) but most of the time I've been alone. I've recently come to terms with being alone, like half a year ago. I think it comes from prioritizing other things in my life - like finding a new job and finding new things that make me happy. It's a lot easier. I am kind of seeing someone right now though, but I think being alone for so long has helped me gain clarity about myself so I can be a better person about dating.
You need to be perfectly content with yourself, before you can be with anyone else.
>>16989531
Psychology disagrees. Once you have safety, you need a sense of belonging/being loved before you can develop a sense of full self esteem. Once you have the self-esteem, you can move onto self-aculatization.
Source: hierchy of needs
>>16989541
>Psychology disagrees
If you knew anything about actual psychology you would know that the biggest thing psychology disagrees with is itself.
Psychology is such an open ended battlefield of opposing opinions that walking up in here sourcing one individual study and calling it truth is pretty dumb-dumb.
>is being content with yourself without being in a relationship a real thing?
Of course it is, don't ask stupid questions.
>>16989502
For a short while before you start longing for human contact or conversations that last longer than 3 sentences.
>>16989502
See OP the tricky thing about this question is everyone is going to twist their shit like a gymnast to agree with what they already want to believe. Like so:
>You need to be perfectly content with yourself, before you can be with anyone else.
>Psychology disagrees.
Take these two. One says "Psychology disagrees" ooooooo. But remember, psychology measures AVERAGES. MEANS. SAMPLE SIZES. and then projects all of those things onto everyone else.
The truth is that you have to figure it out for yourself. I've been in committed relationships. I've currently alone. There are pros and cons to both. It's all about who YOU are and what YOU want.
>you need a sense of belonging/being loved before you can develop a sense of full self esteem. Once you have the self-esteem, you can move onto self-aculatization.
Yeah I call bullshit. I've been self actualizing my entire life whether I'm alone or with anyone. I don't need someone to "love" me; I love myself. it's nice when someone loves me but, in my experience, other people aren't very good at selfless love, they're only good at "co dependency."
OP check out the term Eudaimonia - or "flourishing as a person." I think the ancient Greek philosophers were on to something special with that term and its practical application in life.
Human beings are meant to flourish. How you do that - with someone, without someone, etc. - is up to you and God/fate/life/whatever.
>>16989541
You mean your interpretation of the works of Abraham Maslow disagrees.
>>16989502
Five years single guy here.
Yeah, I've had some bad experiences with women, some harsh rejections. I've had nights where I felt like utter shit for being alone yet again. But I also had moments where I was perfectly fine with being alone. To be honest, I'm more afraid of being stuck in the relationship with the wrong woman. I'm also concerned with taking my singledom for granted, and not realizing what it's like to be by myself and do whatever I want and not have to "answer" to somebody else.
I realize that I might wake up one day and meet a woman who'll be the person I end up marrying (I don't want to marry more than once), and so for now I'm just enjoying being truly single. Not single as in, dating/fucking other women but not committing (tried that and I don't think it's for me), but being single as in truly being with myself and investing in myself.
>>16989502
it is.
i was single for 4 years until about two weeks ago. enjoying the relationship, loving it while it lasts, but thats only really because my life was already good before it happened.
anyone who relies on love to be happy isnt actually happy to begin with. they just rely on the rush htat comes from a new relationship to keep them high. thats why most relationships go sour and discontent so fast.
>>16989552
human contact and 'having a gf' are two different things.
lets be real, the idea of relationships as they are is a pretty new concept. until recent times your girlfriend was like a pet that you could fuck
>>16989502
its possible. after the craziness that happened with my most recent ex, im quite happy to be alone 90% of the time. i suspect this would be less true if i couldnt get laid at all, so maybe that is a key component.
>is being content with yourself without being in a relationship a real thing
absolutely. the people that need relationships to feel whole are ones who are not comfortable with themselves or have concerns about being alone. my sister's friend cannot function unless she has a boyfriend. she's an emotional wreck when she's single and has done whatever she's had to to be in some kind of relationship, including dating a married guy who was looking for a side piece because his wife was pregnant and he thought she was getting ugly.
>are you happy by yourself or do you feel alone without someone
i used to feel weird when i got out of a relationship, now i don't. i spent a lot of my childhood by myself before i started to open up and meet people so i'm used to just being by myself or, now, with friends. my happiness when i'm single is different than the happiness i have when i'm dating someone (which i am at the moment) and i'm satisfied with both. cherish the time you're single because that's when you really get to know yourself.
>>16989576
ah the mind of the woman
women are never alone, they're just inbetween boyfriends
>>16989502
>29 years old
>been screwed enough by women by now (in a bad way)
>know exactly what I want out of a relationship
>know that it is next to impossible to find
After my last girl, I said "fuck the world"
I got my cdl, and now I drive by myself all over the country for months at a time.
I don't need the drama. I don't need the bullshit. I don't need some child wasting my time and playing me like a piano because she doesn't know the sky from the dirt on the ground.
I want someone who is smarter than me... better than me. I want a girl who knows who she is and doesn't have unrealistic expectations of life. I don't care what she looks like. I don't care how tall/short she is. I don't care how big or small her ass/tits are. I don't give a shit what race she is. I don't even care how old she is.
As long as she is a compassionate, intelligent, confident, career minded lady with tons of money and I can still do whatever the hell I want to do, I'm ready to settle.
Until then, I'm happy with traveling the country as a trucker vagrant. It gives me time to think, and I love to think.
I'm 100% happy with this. The status qou of dating/marriage/house/kids is bullshit. Do you, and learn who you are, what you believe, and why. Then once you've figured your own shit out to the point that you have an answer for everything, you can start trying to hook up with a life companion.
So many people don't take the time to do this... then they wake up after a marriage of 20 years and 3 kids, and wonder why their son is a furry and their daughter identifies herself as an attack helicopter, and their life is hell because they work under fluorescent lights every god damn day and come home to a wife they no longer know.
Wizard here. Sometimes I am content because I've seen people get ruined by bad relationships, but sometimes it's devastating to realize I'm going to be alone forever because I'm now a wizard.
>>16989583
i already know this is bait but i'll hand out (You)s, i guess.
>women are never alone
false
>they're just inbetween boyfriends
the shortest i've been between one relationship and another is a year. again, i don't really mind being by myself plus i'm not approached that often by guys.
Absolutely. Successful relationships are between people who are happy single, but happier together.
You can get all the social interaction you need from family and friends in the meantime.
Nothing is more unattractive and destructive than desperation. I know it can be a real catch 22, but people who want but don't NEED relationships are the ones who are going to have good ones.
You need to be able to make yourself happy and love yourself before anything else.
>>16989606
>literally proves my point
I wish I was asexual
>>16989606
a year really isn't that long of a time. Some guys go without relationships for years or never have them period. You aren't helping your case
>>16989612
>they're just inbetween boyfriends
>thinking that's a point
>>16989642
That was the entire point of my post
I hope I'm getting baited and you aren't really this dumb
>>16989637
i said that's the shortest, sorry if you didn't catch that. longest was about 3 maybe 3 1/2 years. my whole point is that i'm happy when i'm single and being in a relationship isn't necessary to me nor is it something that i constantly think about.
>>16989612
sure
