I really don't want to be that guy who whines about his life but if I can't say it here then where can I fucking say it. I have no family to talk to, my only 2 friends are too far to meet up with and barely talk to me online (I initiate every conversation), only person that has ever cared is a counsellor which quite frankly only really cares because that's their job. What the fuck do I do? I've never even been in an actual relationship, closest thing was an online LDR for a week before it got cut off. No one has ever even approached me, and I hate the idea of becoming a fucking wizard. It just feels like no one actually gives a fuck about me, I don't expect people too either, I don't even expect to get replies, all I can do is hope.
>>16987515
Step away from the computer. Turn it off and go outside. Literally - get some fresh air. Go someplace where there are people - a park, a mall, a campus.Sit and think.
Forget for a minute about looking for friends. You're just outside to get you away from the computer. Think about things you like to do or would like to do,. (If you can't think of anything, pick some things tht are totally new to you, at random).
Now, there are probably other people in the world who like those things. Where would they be likely to hang out? Some club, some kind of store, a gym, a class in some subject, a museum, a concert?
Go to one of those places, not to find friends, but to do the activity or see the show or just hang out.
Now, you are doing/watching something that interests you, in the company of other people with the same interests. It's natural enough to chat with the person near you on line or shopping next to you or looking at the same things about what you're doing. Soon a bunch of you are chatting. Someone suggests going for a drink/coffee after. You introduce yourselves. Someone says there's something (movie, show, concert) related to your common interest coming up next week. Someone suggests that you all go together.
And that's how friends happen to you.
>>16987568
Been there, done that. I go to town centre pretty much every day just to not feel like a bird in a cage. Nothing happens, nowhere to go either, barely any money to get a bus to go somewhere where there is shit to do. I've been on a uni course for almost a year now, and nothing.
>>16987515
What do you do for a living?
What are your hobbies?
Fight fire with fire. Isolate yourself as much as you can and start to meditate. Once you start to stop relying on external things like humans, you will achieve the point of easiness.
>I don't even expect to get replies, all I can do is hope.
Hope is implying expectation. Stop hoping.
>>16987744
I'm unemployed, I have to complete paperwork to prove I exist before I can get a job, so I'm living off of student loans till I can support myself financially.
My hobbies are vidya, magic the gathering, 40k, basically being a fucking nerd.
>>16987758
Easier said then done, all feels hopeless and I'm just clinging onto shit.
>>16987799
>Easier said then done, all feels hopeless and I'm just clinging onto shit.
Easier done than said. Destroy your hope. I broke my brain to the point where I started to enjoy loneliness, but it was a hell of a pain. I'm not sure how well it will work for you.
Cut off the internet and isolate yourself. GIve yourself a one month. If you have to gather the information, do it by using libraries.
Someone will say that it's a retarded advice. It's your choice to try. It can break you. But if you are not able to get your desirable social interaction, there is a way we can dodge that.
>>16987822
I'm not too keen on that idea, I'd rather not have to enjoy solitude out of defeat, it sounds like giving up to me, and I doubt giving up will help me get where I want to be. That being said I'm here talking about this now so I could easily have a bad mindset or a bad method of dealing with social interaction and relationships.
>>16987848
It is an idea of appreciating loneliness, not giving up.
>>16987515
>no one had ever approached me
This is your problem in it's entirety. You need to be approaching people. You need to be making effort to reach out to friends, potential friends, and girls. You have no other problem but this.
If your next question is 'how' then I recommend you ask mommy how to introduce yourself to people again.
>>16987855
It sounds like a good idea on feeling better about it, but how does it help with getting a social life? Is it more about getting into a positive outlook to become more socially acceptable?
>>16987868
I can't approach people without freaking them the fuck out
>talk to mommy
Slight problem with that.
Get a job and pay for a hooker phone her so you dont have to get off your lazy ass then bust a nut in the bitch kick her out of your house and feel better about yourself.
>>16987799
>My hobbies are vidya, magic the gathering, 40k, basically being a fucking nerd.
i liked vidya so one day i was browsing /vg/, saw an interesting game, turns out it was an open-source project all coded by anons so i joined and learned, lot of fun. Before that i thought that programming was only for the most hardcore autists who literally dreamed in numbers, yet it turns out i love it
do things like that, find ways to "go deeper" into things you enjoy and join group efforts when you can: helps you find good friends, meaning, and being a part of a larger undertaking gives you a sense of purpose and usefulness
>>16987758
>>16987822
Hell no, this is god-awful advice, there's a reason schizoid personality disorder is called a disorder and needs intensive treatment, emulating schizoid coping is not even remotely a good idea.
>>16987881
>I can't approach people without freaking them the fuck out
Why? What freaks them out? Do you look or smell like a homeless person? Do you whisper in strangers' ears on the subway that you want to tickle them from the inside out and wear their skin as a dress?
>>16988127
My goddamn face
>>16988127
>what freaks them out
I wish I knew, only things I can go off are that I apparently look like a hitman or a serial killer. My sense of humour may have an effect? It's very dry and dark.
Low self esteem is off putting to people. Honestly how can people like you if you don't even like yourself. If you have something about yourself that you can't change you need to come to terms with that. It's who you are. Trying to do so otherwise is just going to put you into an endless loop of despair. Like if you really like vidya but try to go out and go clubbing it might seem good for a while but eventually you'll hate it because it's not your thing. The thing is to find people who enjoy things you enjoy. Unless of course you don't like vidya that much and are only doing it because you don't have much else better to do and you don't really know what you like and dont have friends to do shit with. If that's the case you just need to go out and do activities. Go clubbing, mountain biking, swimming, anything. Find an activity you love doing and want to be the best at. If you find something you love that will be a positive influence on your life (aka not eating or drugs) you'll start feeling better physically and emotionally. Then other people will notice your positive energy and like you more. But don't expect people to run up and ask to be your friend. Sometimes you need to initiate a conversation and hey you might meet someone that'll be lifelong friend/partner. Who knows. Life has endless possibilities. Just find what you love, love yourself, and find people who share what you love and you'll be set on a happy life.
