I met this girl not too long ago. We're both immigrants from Eastern Europe, living in the same western country. We had pretty much the same childhood/upcoming story (abusive families, poverty, tough time adjusting in, etc.), and because of it, we connected pretty well with one another. I think we could have something more serious going in the near future in terms of friendship. I am fairly sure she'd be down for it. I like her a lot, too. Except for one thing, which is pretty huge for me.
We've got this "game", right?. We basically try to one-up each other on random topics. It's quite entertaining, and we get to know each other very well through doing it. We've talked like this for hours. We've covered a lot of topics, going through politics, music, art in general, philosophy, life, etc. Now, the thing is, she's started to act very weirdly about it, and she didn't use to do that when we first started messing around.
She basically snaps, and goes "FINE, I'M DUMB, YOU'RE SMART! FUCK YOU!" on me, gets incredibly mad, and I have to actually convince her each time that whatever was that I said wasn't a part of some master plan to make her feel like shit, insult her, or dominate her in general; it was just part of the game. And initially I thought this was some sort of act she has going, which is directly related to the game itself, but now I am starting to realize that she might have some issues that I need to find out about/understand before actually letting her in my life.
Or, I showed her this profile of a girl that I know, who happens to be a good friend of mine. Said girl is a model, and she's very good-looking. When I showed it to her, again, she snaps, and goes: "Why did you just show me that? Are you trying to humiliate me? To make me feel ugly?" And the thing is, she is not ugly at all. The exact opposite, really.
So what's going on, adv? Is she insane? Am I doing something wrong on a general level?
I am with my boyfriend because he treats me like a princess. I would not be with someone who treats me like crap. You are treating your gf like crap. Sounds like she too wants someone who treats her like a princess and not you.
>>16987497
For what you are saying she gets triggered easily. If u want a relationship with her you will experience that often so I dont know if thats a good idea. Or maybe she is in her period who knows
Why don't you try asking her if it's a game to her and that other shit you blindly assume rather than just presume shit about her?
Men like you who just think they know it all deserve to get thrown in the trash.
>>16987509
So, should I confront her about it?
>>16987497
You repeatedly refer to your interaction as "a game".
Did she know it was a game? Go back over the game and consider what it felt like to someone who thought you were having serious conversations.
>>16987497
Most likely she's insecure about herself in a lot of matters. So... Maybe she feels like you're pressuring her into being better than she actually is.. Maybe she feels like she needs to be the smartest, the prettiest so that shell be worthy of your love... I mean, I'm pretty insecure and I may think the things she says but ill never actually say them to my bf. I just laugh and say you're so smart or compliment a pretty girl along with him.
So my guess is she is insecure and she is feeling the pressure to be someone better and maybe she can't do better. Help her. Compliment her...
>>16987570
She absolutely, 100%, actively, genuinely knew it was a game and a joke, and that we're both, me especially, messing around. Half of the time the "comebacks" didn't even make sense. We'd start a discussion like this, halfway through "arguing" we'd simply start talking to each other about the other person's interests related to the topic at hand, and then we'd try to one-up one another all anew. She does it as well. I laugh it off, because I find it funny, and I thought/think she did/does as well.
>>16987588
I did. I really did. I've told her that she's smart, because I do believe she is, I've told her that she's gorgeous, because it is true, I've told her that she's sensitive, caring, sweet. I inferred once that I thought she was actually being seriously upset about this fake arguing crap, because she looked at me in an incredibly sad way, and she just said she was kidding. Should I just "force" her to tell me why she's acting like this?
>>16987497
Both those things you mentioned lowers her esteem.. try complimenting her sometimes. Things like "the dress looks really good on you" or "I'm glad to talk with a girl of my intelligence". Try not to make the compliment based on circumstance, like "You look nice today" because a girl with low esteem might ask herself why she didnt look nice to you yesterday.
>>16987497
What an annoying 'game'. How has she even put up with you this long
>>16987497
My three friends and I used to play age of empires. I liked the game, but I sucked hard at it. I was way worse than any of them and they juggled teaming with me in team battles. When I was on Skype on of my friends once said "god Anon you are such a burden I would better be alone" and my will to play was instantly gone. And they didn't mean that, they were just in the heat of the game but still hurted.
It got to the point where I really didn't wanted to play and expressed it to them. They laughed at me for taking the game that seriously and begged me to play just to have 2vs2 matches.
It is true that I am somewhat sensitive, but you should really try to look on what is she feeling, even if you consider it "just a game".
>>16987638
But we both do consider it a game, man. That's been my point all along. That's why this doesn't make sense. We both did the same thing to one another. And she'd seldom say "Ha, I got you there!", and I'd touch her on the nose and reply that "yes, you did, smarty pants" (in a non-sarcastic, non-passive-aggressive, sweet way), she'd smile, I'd smile, and the conversation would go from there. Three minutes later, she's fucking yelling.
I don't understand any of it.
Like, should I just apologize for being a douche bag and simply move on?
bump
