I'm a guy and love to be dominated. I know this isn't looked upon highly in society. I don't like being mistreated irl and get angry pretty quick when people talk down to me in normal conversation, but alone I love being used and abused.
I want to find a girl that I can do this with, but it seems most women want to be dominated themselves. This leads to self-hatred on my part because if I could, I would love to be the alpha and be dominating, but it just simply isn't who I am. I've tried so many times and my dick just goes limp when I try. I don't know what to do. I had a gf who was dominating in a relationship once but that went to hell because she began dominating me outside the bedroom and it turned abusive really fast. I feel like I'm stuck in a shitty hole because I can't find a girl who just wants to keep things in the bedroom. I look at guys now to get off but I deep down want a girl who will dominate me in bed, but let me be in control in day-to-day life. It just sucks because this is hard to find and I can't let this come across when getting to know someone.
>>16987384
> she began dominating me outside the bedroom and it turned abusive really fast.
I just also want to make it clear, she abused me. She began hitting me every time we got into an argument and refused to ever listen to my opinion on anything. I felt like a piece of crap but I still loved her. Part of me still does for some weird reason, but it was very unhealthy and had to have my family intervene to help me get away. I don't want that to happen again.
>>16987384
Anon, I wish I could find a guy like you. Someone to treat as a peer in everyday life, someone who would let me be the most affectionate and caring and loving girlfriend, but that'd be fine with me being in charge in the bedroom. I meet either doormats or guys who want to dominate me.
I have no solutions for you, because I can't find him either.
But girls like me exist. I hope you find them. Good luck!
>>16987397
thanks! sorry if this seems like a hook-up thread because it's not, but do you have an email or something? I'd like to get to know you more because it seems like these kinds of people are rare. if not that's fine, but I'm interested.
>>16987397
also, how do I meet girls like that then? people say "use fetlife" but that site is just white trash/weirdos. I really just want someone who is stable/well-rounded mentally but dominating/freaky in the bed. of course I want I want to be attracted to them too and we have romantic times together, but it just seems like this is like winning the lottery. I've dated a lot of girls and to find one like that seems so rare, especially to find one like that that you're attracted to. it feels hopeless a lot of times and I wish there was a site that just let you find that.
>stable/well-rounded mentally but dominating/freaky in the bed
lol look man, you aren't going to find a "stable/well rounded" girl that wants to dominate men in the bedroom
>>16987420
that's my problem. what the fuck do I do then? it's like I'm fucked completely then. I am not a dominating person in the bed, I've tried a lot of times and it doesn't work. But I can't be with someone who is freaky outside the bedroom because it's unhealthy. What the fuck do I do?
>>16987438
Maybe you need to try to stop worrying so much about sex. Maybe you need to stop watching porn or whatever it is that has exposed you to this attitude. There are two viable options I can think of:
You can try to condition yourself to care less about this, and find someone you can be in a stable relationship with where you just meet in the middle in the bedroom.
You can find dominating girls on Tinder or OKCupid but they're almost going to 100% be crazy.
Ever tried fetlife?
>>16987454
yes and it's filled with white trash/crazy people.
>>16987398
>>16987416
I do have a throwaway email/skype but I don't like posting it here, every time I get added by tons of people and it gets weird. If you want, you can post your info and I add you? Thanks.
I've never been on fetlife, or pretty much any dating app. I don't know, I just met all the guys I dated through school, common friends, at parties and whatever.
I let the "domineering" side show gradually, and stopped when I felt like they were uncomfortable with it. I've never been with someone who was fine with all the things I'd like to do in bed. Of course I also do want "normal", romantic sex and I can be fine with the guy being in charge to a degree. I don't want sex to be just kinky, that's mainly it.
I think I am fairly normal and stable, I go to school, have lots of friends, I had stable, long and healthy relationships and I've always been defined as the "perfect girlfriend" by all the guys I've been with - we mostly broke up because of external circumstances and never because our relationship was bad. I'm caring, loving, I absolutely adore taking care of my partner. What I like in bed and who I am aren't necessarily linked.
But this >>16987444 is SO true.
>>16987457
Aha fetlife fags BTFO
>>16987458
thanks, sure I'm at [email protected]
I'm the same way. I don't let my submissive side show until the relationship gets more serious. I also don't want sex to be just kinky; I hate sex that doesn't have any emotion to it.
I've also been with a lot of girls who thought I was perfect (obviously I'm not) but we broke up typically from the same; external circumstances or I broke up because they got crazy/obsessed.
Anyway, I'm in boston, if you'd like you can email me. Thanks :)
Wish i could find a girl like that too, i've spent almost 10 years searching. Fetlife is trash, and most other kink-style meeting things are really bad. The majority of "dominant" women i've met either -want you to give them money in exchange for nothing- or -are 300lbs, and still don't think they're lucky to have a date-
I met a few normal looking women who were seemingly into it but they either showed their crazy side (one called me 20 times a day, wondering "what i was doing" when i was working).
If anyone knows a semi-kinky girl who likes the idea of being somewhat in charge in the bedroom, feel free to pass my info along too! [email protected]
>>16987384
Try to find a nice, stable feminist. Might sound crazy, but they exist.
I was with a moderate feminist chick for a while, and she was a total cutie. Would cook me things, I would cook her things. Give and take.
Get to the bedroom, and she was way more open to things than normal girls I have dated. Way more open to being the one in control. Maybe a coincidence, but thought it was worth mentioning.
>>16987384
You gotta bring out the inner rapist and be dom
Find balance between dom and sub, like yin and yang
