>>16987335

That's not true.

People stay the same because security goes down.

They get tied to marriages cars mortgages and debts. They're less willing to take the risks or behave in the ways that bring about change. They get stuck in a routine and stop trying new things.

You can always change. Even if you have all of the above holding you back you can go join a yoga club or take night classes or do something, anything that challenges and refines you.

>>16987335
What's stopping you from traveling?

>>16987339
>People stay the same because security goes down.

Kinda meant for your average 25+ loser that frequents. Most of them seem to stay stuck.

>>16987345
I wouldn't mind travelling, but doing it alone seems harrowing. I mean, I'm your average sperg who's never been holiday.

>>16987374
What age are you dude?

>>16987374
I know what you meant. You said people get cemented at 25. I was explaining generally why, and therefore wby that impression exists.

The same thing still applies to you. If you aren't doing anything, you won't change. If you do stuff, you WILL change.

>>16987376
26, fast approaching 27.

Seem to have gotten nowhere career-wise or socially.

>>16987382
Do you have a job atm or source of income?

>>16987374
Travelling alone is cool.
I am an introvert and pretty awkward sometimes, and travelling on my own helped me SO MUCH to make new friends and let myself go. I have a bunch of close friends all over Europe and I visit them often, and I feel so much less awkward now in every day situations. Try to do it, if you have enough money and time.

>>16987385
In a dead-end retail job. Funnily enough I was transferred from a store in a rough to a store in a more affluent area. It's exactly the same but the people look down at you here. It's annoying going to work in a shabby uniform while everyone around you are in expensive suits.

>>16987388
Where did you go and how did you meet up with people?

>>16987405
I don't think you're as worse off as you think man.

You've got a job which means options, socializing with people on a daily basis and based on the Dostoyevsky pic pretty well educated.

For one thing focus on the positives. Second focus on improving your life. Go to the gym, dress better, do a part time course to improve your career options, find a hobbie, take cokking/yoga class so you are meeting new people.

As the other guy said if you don't do anyything NOTHING will change

Best of luck bud. Hope it works out.

>>16987437
The few interests I have, don't really align with most people aside from vidya and even then it's not their sole hobby, so don't really have much to talk about.

>based on the Dostoyevsky pic pretty well educated.

Ehhh...2.2 in Maths from a good uni. I was usually labelled as a underachiever. These days I wish I lost myself in my studies.

>>16987335
my friend was a 26 year old virgin who had worked flipping burgers for 5+ years spending all his income on guns and ammo. now he's 29, married with a hot as fuck gf and baby. makes twice as much money as he used to and he's actually a well rounded guy without an autismal arsenal

you can always change, i'd say 45+ is really pushing the limit

>>16987473
>The few interests I have, don't really align with most people aside from vidya and even then it's not their sole hobby, so don't really have much to talk about.

Find better hobbies

>These days I wish I lost myself in my studies.

Then go back to college and do that

>>16987473
*an

>24
>no profession
>foreign country
>no friends
>gf is not supportive and only makes me feel worse about myself
>Attention deficit dissorder
>ultra shit health care in this country
>can't/don't know how to get therapist
The only thing keeping me alive is a hope that if eventually I would get help, meds would make me useful.

>>16987493
why do you still have your gf if she's making you feel awful? Do you want to get your dick wet?

>>16987477
>Then go back to college and do that

My masters? Shit's gotten pretty expensive these days in the uk. Besides I can barely add two single digit number together these days.

>>16987476
>spending all his income on guns and ammo.
Just cos or was he preparing for the apocalypse?

>>16987506
>My masters? Shit's gotten pretty expensive these days in the uk. Besides I can barely add two single digit number together these days.

Yes or if Maths isn't a viable option as regards a career maybe look at IT or something.

Man you know what you gotta do to make your life better so just do it.

I'm out

>>16987531
>Man you know what you gotta do to make your life better so just do it.

I'm asking a chinese cartoon message board for help, I really don't.

I'm currently doing really well in trying to escape being a mentally ill loser NEET. It feels so fucking good to actually achieve stuff. I'm only 22 going on 23 though.

>>16987502
>why do you still have your gf if she's making you feel awful? Do you want to get your dick wet?
Im not that guy but...yes?
Id kill for a gf who was sexually active but made me feel like crap because not having any sex and feeling unwanted is much, much worse than having a gf and getting sex
I mean the trade-off is simple in my mind but maybe it stems from a year of extreme thirst and unsatisfied sexual needs

Ive said it once and i'll say it again, but 25 is absolutely the worst age to be. No one but a loser would want to be 25 again. Trust me, it gets better!

>>16987335
>Seems like things have cemented at this age, and whoever you are now, (aside from major incidents), is pretty much who you'll ever be.
uhhh.. No.. Not even close.

I'm 28. not a loser though for the most part, been in the military, air force for the past 9 years. but i got out last month cause it sucks and the military definitely is not for everyone.

>>16987790
> Trust me, it gets better!
When?

>>16987374
I'm a 28 years old loser.
15 months ago I started travelling to become not such a loser.
I'm still a loser, and I'm still travelling because I don't know what else to do.

I was an awkward virgin with no friends, no hobbies, no job, no marketable skills. This didn't change until a month ago, when as I was leaving this one place I noticed that some people there would actually miss me. So now I have friends. I don't like them too much though.
Sucks to be an emotionless blob in addition to a social cripple.

By the way, I need advice.
There was this woman there, probably one or two years older than me, who was affectionate with me. Lots of hugs, she was the person most visibly upset by my departure, and because of some other things I think she might have a crush on me.
I don't feel that way. She's nice but not very interesting, she's not ugly but not very attractive, to me.
At the time though, I went along happily with her displays of affection because it felt good. I am badly in need of tenderness.
Now we might get reunited at a friend's place soon.
The question is : if she tries to get closer to me, should I let it happen, or not ?
The pros of the yes option is that I would get some life experience, some love and some sex, that I might not find elsewhere for years.
The cons are that I might hurt her, and that all these things might not feel so good since I'm not really attracted.

>>16987531
>Man you know what you gotta do to make your life better so just do it.

Maybe that's true but I feel like I need to find some friends to get some motivation or support.

I'd like to meet people with similar interests, sorta the reason I went to comic-con but found that most people my age even in the geeky place have already formed their social circles.

>>16987335
I escaped being a loser on professional terms during my mid-20s. I was temping and fantasizing about doing something cooler, and my girlfriend-now-wife talked me in to volunteering at a place that eventually gave me a paying job that I have since translated into a career.

It helps that I already had a partner in crime, of course. Left alone I would probably have kept on temping, throwing occasional blind applications out and getting no responses, and feeling sorry for myself.

Always cultivate in yourself the ability to adapt and change to your surroundings.

Creating a mental block in your mind is the first failure.

>>16988115
>It helps that I already had a partner in crime, of course. Left alone I would probably have kept on temping, throwing occasional blind applications out and getting no responses, and feeling sorry for myself.

Kind of what I meant in my previous post.>>16988115

Just having someone watch your back.

>>16987476
Flipping burgers at 26 isn't great, but it's a hell of a lot better than working to support a family.

He might make twice as much, but guess how much of that he actually gets to spend on himself? Less than half.

There are other ways to lose your "loser" status, that doesn't involve knocking up a woman and mindlessly breeding.

>>16988189
I realise that you have a low sense of empathy but he probably doesn't mind spending money on his family.

Bumping.

Where would you find other geeks of a similar age in London?

>28
>live with parents
>don't really have a job
>never had a gf
>don't really hang out with anyone anymore
>no car of my own
>dropped out of community college

I did start talking to this girl but it's only a matter of time before she realizes the extent of how much of a loser I am and ditches me

>>16989252
Well the good thing about London is that the basements have windows, so just knock on these.

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>>16987335
>Notes from Underground

One of my favourite books, loosely adapted in one of favourite films Taxi Driver.

I felt my life was going to the wall in my mid-late twenties. Married to a BDP psycho who wasted away our money and drove me into a depression, wasn't in a job with promotion prospects, so I'd be treading water on low wages long term. Thought I was going to have a breakdown under the misery of it.

So I found a friend to put me up and moved out, took all my stuff and filed for divorce - and never looked back. Paid off debts and started savings, started to enjoy my money and spending on stuff for myself. Then I decided to take a chance, packed in my job and went back to uni to do teacher training which I'd become very keen on trying. Now I'm 30 in a job with a decent future on higher pay, no debts beyond the student loan, savings in the bank, and a nice girlfriend.

You don't get anywhere without taking control of your life and being proactive.

>>16988115
>>16991134
>Point in common:
>Someone had your back

I'm 25.5, superficially successful (good job, nice apartment, devoted girlfriend) but my life was pretty shit two years ago. Going back to school was the best decision I ever made. Otherwise I'd still be waiting tables and living with my parents with no devoted girlfriend.

Sometimes I wonder how I (and other anons) would've coped without the internet and vidya. Would we have been forced to adapt out of sheer necessity?

Bumping cos we need a thread for people not in their teens.

Hi friends.

I was a NEET at 25 but at 29 I'm now ahead of most people. Just had to want it bad enough.

>>16987335

I used to be the definition of beta neckbeard until I was 24.

Started losing weight, got a gf, became computer engy, started successful internet marketing business.

I am 29 now, but still feel like a loser in every aspect of my life except my personal finance.

yo guys so pretty much i´m a loser at my 23, still a virgin and my first kiss was a guy so i got no experience with girls, also i left my systems technician career just from a thesys away from my grade, i don´t feel like i want to get it, i want to do art, but maybe i should try something else, anyone got an idea of where to meet girl if i can´t drink or walk a lot (i got scoliosis)

>>16992969
Yep pretty much this. If you want it you've got to work at it.

26, good job, some friends.
But no girlfriend and being short, I'm not sure what I can do about it.

It seems ungrateful to have success in one aspect of your life but be hung up about another but here I am.

>>16993351
>with a guy

Did they run out of women that day?

>28
>Career in semiconductors industry
>Flat, motorbike
>No friends
>No companion

I have tried for so many years to change things for a better - obviously without any success.

Funny thing is I am really not asking for much - just someone to share my day with, which proved to be extremely hard to find once you hit 25+.

I may not seem like a loser from outside, but I am. The same way as I am dead inside for so many years and without this job which frees my mind over workdays, I would probably just end it long time ago.

>>16993689
nope, but im bi and still want to kiss a girl befeore i die

reading this made me feel better, somewhat. im 19 about to turn 20 and my gf of 3 yrs just dumped me. i have no friends and she got me into smoking pot and i was smoking everyday 3x a day up until last week and im going insane. idk what the fuck to do. i live at moms house and dont have a job. i have a car and taken 2 years of college but im not in any classes until the fall. got any advice for me?

>>16987335
Man I told you yesterday, and Ill tell you again today in more detail.

You are not cemented. You are never cemented. People stop changing because they stop having new experiences trying new things and challenging themselves. Its easy to think people are set at age 25, because thats when most people become sedentary.

Your brain and all its individual pieces are like a muscle. If you dont exercise these parts they get weak, if you do exercise those parts, they get strong.

You are human. Part of your biology is being highly adaptable to new situations, and your brain and body will condition and arrange itself to respond appropriately to your consistent daily needs.

Change your exterior, and your interior responds and adapts.

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>26
>IT
>living in socal w/ relatives
>no friends or relationship
>haven't had a conversation in a year or two

trying to change and be more social, but it's just too draining and disappointing overall.

joined a d&d group to learn how to socialize, but spend 99% of the time not talking and trying not to fall asleep.

>this is my fuckin' life

I was 25 in 2006, when I heard about the upcoming global financial crisis and got worried that my NEET lifesyle would soon become unsustainable. I looked up a governement published job outlook forecast and started uni in early 2007, studied an in-demand degree and hit the books hard, graduating in 2009 with a decent grade and a lot of technical knowledge in my field. By 2011 I landed an entry level management position, and in 2013 got a cushy senior management job where I make 6 figures "working" 6 hours a day (most days I just dick around on my phone in my office) and other people do most of my work for me. I'm the youngest person at my level in a fairly large company, which is pretty cool.

This is in a country where higher education loans are available interest-free to all citizens. I don't know much about american higher education, but from what I gather from casual reading, this seems like it is a less viable option for NEETs in the US.

>>16995239
Now for the advice: if you are young, your promotion prospects are very poor.If you worked entry level from the usual graduating age (20?) it's unlikely you would advance your career by an earlier age, you'll probably be stuck in a more-or-less low level position for 5 more years than you need to. What matters is age and job knowledge. Age comes automatically, you can get it by sitting on your ass playing videogames and jerking off until your mid 20s (much more fun than spending that time working a low level position), and you can get the job knowledge by studying like a motherfucker when you do eventually decide to get a qualification.

So even if you did nothing productive in your teens/early 20's, you can still get really far if you work hard at it. Think of it as paying off a loan for all that time spent being a NEET.

The alternative to all of that is staying NEET, though by age 25 you'll probably be starting to get sick of that :(

>>16995273
I think I can get the long-term career part down with hard work but the social part is still fuzzy to me.

>>16993351
You can do art whenever, get a real job bc the likeynhood of a living wage with art is extremely extremely slim

>>16987836

When you get up and do something.

>>16995444
Nice trips. If that's what you want then don't ask me, I'm more of a private, introverted guy, always have been. Having a stable career and a secure personal life does a lot for one's confidence though, it might be a good first step to take while you try and figure that social stuff out.

>>16987335
I hit rock bottom around 24 and slowly started crawling back up, now I'm just moving faster and faster. I started reading a lot, developed a plan, ingesting lots of other instructive media idea generation, etc. I don't think my case is the typical one, but at least being a NEET frees up a crazy amount of time for research and really trying to chase what you want out of your life (that includes actually figuring out what you want out of your life.)

You don't have to just give up your back anon. You can still make it. You just keep stopping because you're out of breath, and it's OK to rest, but you've gotta try to go just a little farther next time and the time after that and so on.

I believe in you.

>>16989926
You can disarm her by being honest and not making up excuses for yourself

>>16992984
Try reading some philosophy, anon

>>16993397
Height, while a lot of girls like it, is not as important as personality. Unfortunately it's sort of a catch 22 in that confidence can be derived from physical gifts and then impacts your personality. It's like the halo effect, people assign better qualities all around to individuals they find attractive. People do this to themselves as well. What you need to do, anon, is reverse halo effect yourself. Find the truly wonderful things about your personality and character. The great thing is that character is malleable just like the body. Once you love yourself on the inside, you'll notice that you'll start looking at all the good things on the outside.

Also, sorry for saying that you "need" to do something, it was presumptuous of me.

Point is though, you're not measured by one quality. Be a whole person and no one will be able to reduce you by one aspect of your self.

>>16995212
>joined a d&d group to learn how to socialize, but spend 99% of the time not talking and trying not to fall asleep.

I want to join something geeky/nerdy club but aside from not quite knowing where to look, it seems they might be too geeky for me.

On the other hand with geek being in vogue right now, it also seems like there's a lotta regular people with geek interests at these things which actually makes things harder.

27. Didn't even have a dining room table or a couch until last year. Slept on a mattress on the floor. Now I have a tempurpedic bed, a new (to me) car, 2011 Hyundai Elantra, and I'm moving into my first home on the 27th.

>>16993913
Read books about what interests you. You don't always need college to hold your hand in your own research. You are autonomous. I suggest pursuing a passion while you still have all of this time. And sitting down and figuring out the root of what you want out of your life, then maybe not attaching all of your happiness to achieving that thing but realizing that happiness comes from the persuit. You are a moral man when you choose to pursue being a moral man. You are an educated man when you choose to pursue being an educated man. You are a clever man when you choose to purse being a clever man.

And so on

No thats not true OP. The adult brain doesn't become set and unchanged in its ways after a certain age. It can still change a great deal but you have to do certain things to make this change happen that younger people don't really have to do.

Check out the book Boost your brain by Majid Fotuhi. It goes into how to make those changes happen in your brain.

>>16987335
Stop reading depressing /lit/, work out, talk to a psychologist (even if you aren't depressed it can help, and there is no shame in it).

I feel you man, I'm 24 and fighting to change myself.

>28
>got fired 2 times in a month's time.
>cashed out 401k
>fled to Canada (dual citizen but, mom has to mail Canadian ID to me)
>Currently homeless.
>Part asian,
>Get mistaken for Native.
>Self-harming
>Attempted suicide but, failed.
>Contemplating suicide
>living in homeless shelter.

Constantly battling self loathing.
Struggling to not give into to depression but, wonder what's the point...

I just realized this is one of those "Everybody-Posts-But,-Nobody-Reads" threads. Fucking figures.

>>16987335
>whoever you are now, (aside from major incidents), is pretty much who you'll ever be.
maybe but not necessarily. I think after 25 or 30 it starts getting harder to change. but you can still do it. actually it's the first few years of your life that have the overwhelming influence on who you are.

anyway, think about all the people who have midlife crises. yeah some of it is just that they went through menopause or that they're saying "fuck it I'm gonna get that red car" but some people will change careers, ditch a crappy spouse they've been putting up with for years, etc.

in other words, don't worry that you're set in stone by the time you hit 30. it's just not the case. keep learning new things. keep your mind alive. do new shit. meet new people. this is how you remain able to change.

>>16992506
Yeah. I also think that it used to be much more common for people to work on the family farm or business, or to get a job alongside their family/friends/community. Now it's all high-skilled jobs and everyone is surrounded by strangers.

>>16987335
>Be 23 y/o expelled from 2 community colleges
>addicted to drugs
> all my friends are sucessful
>cut ties with everyone and go to rehab
>get out of rehab
>stay sober
>go to random film school (only school i could get into
>wtf am i doing here
>sick of school start applying everywhere and writing everyday
>work my ass off no social life
>get a call back from some random craigslist job
>start working as their editor
>they get picked up
>make pilot with them
>pilot bombs
>guys from studio like my quirky pseudo intelligent personality
>Same personality I've had since i was 16, just sober now
>Offer me a PA job on feature film
>make friends with one of the actors
>show him my script
>a little under a month some producer calls me
>go have lunch with him, he wants to buy my script
>Somehow he already has my script with notes in it
>add explosions to script
>sell script
>i'm a writer now


It's never too late, amigo

>>16995554
>"...not quite knowing where to look..."
Before I found a local group, I tested the waters by using roll20.net, it definitely eased me into the right mindset again.

>"... too geeky..."
Yeah, at times. Lots of obscure references that just flew over my head leaving me out of the laughs and what not, but that's just my group. I do see a lot of normies buying PHB so you might get lucky.

I do enjoy the games it's just not as fun with strangers. Back in high school I was DM for my friends and trying to relive those memories now is definitely ruining the experience.

If you're considering it then you should definitely try it out at least once.

Mid 20s? Maybe your mid 40s. Most people aren't even in a real career by the time they are 25, let alone settled down for good with a partner or being alone forever.

Just remember there are no rules about what you should be doing and really no one gives a fuck about you. Even the cute girl at work you want to bang -- she doesn't care that you're a 24-year-old virgin.

>>16987335
I started college when I was 24 and now I do alright at 32. Before that I was a total loser.

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>>16987335
>Seems like things have cemented at this age
It does sorta feel like that for me right now. (i'm 25)

I'm currently stuck living in my parents house with a decent car. I was able to afford it because my old place of employment of 3 years paid me well. Just that ever since I got laid off a year ago, I've been stuck in a odd loop(working at odd jobs instead of an office job like I was for 3 years). If I was still working there, I would have gotten my own place by now.

I had an interview last week, I think it went well. The work from what I heard was great and the pay is excellent. They told they would call me today by 5 about whether I got the job or not. It's 4:03. I'm just hoping I can get it so I start moving up in life.

>>16996893
While you might have a point I was more referring to us, the quiet, introverted, socially isolated ones. Like these days we have tons of distractions to ignore the reality, but if I was born a decade or earlier I wonder how I'd cope with dial-up internet and super nintendos?

>>16996963
26, I'm 26.