>>16986917
This guy sounds like he got instructions from /adv/

>>16986921
Really? I hope he doesn't browse here lol that would be awkward.
I wonder if he would be able to tell who I am from this post and the back of my head

>All these mind games cause you dont want to swallow your pride and have a one to one conversation with someone.

What are you? Still in high school?

You're afraid that if you tell him that there's a possibility that he'd just brush it off and pretend there were no feelings in the first place, or that he wouldn't be pretending at all.

Stop being an immature little brat.

>>16986923
I am a freshman in college so not that far out of highschool.

Again it's wierd because he's someone I don't feel comfortable with.
Like most of my friends I can have totally candid conversations about whatever with- but he's this super awkward, quiet wallflower and I'm afraid of how he would react.

Look- if there is no other way to get him off my back then I will just flat out tell him that I think he has a crush on me and that I would not be interested in dating him ever, then I'll do that. but that's a lot meaner than I normally am and I don't want to have to resort to that.

i'm asking now to see if there are any better methods that will spare his feelings before I have to suck it up and be the bad guy.

Also, I've told him "no" 17 times in a row to the things he's invited me to.
So I'm not playing mind games.
I'm being very direct, he's the one who won't make a move and won't get the signals.
I'll clearly reject him the moment he makes any kind of move such as calling it a "date".

Maybe I can drag it out of him?
Like he invited me to accompany him to a barbq next week, maybe I can say "are you asking as a date"?

I want my 4 minutes back

>>16986935
It took you 4 minutes to read that??
Yikes

>>16986927

I've been 'that' guy and I know for a fact I'd rather a girl just freeze me out instead of pretending to be my friend. I messaged some girls I knew from high school a few months back, we had interesting conversations, invited them to hang out, and that was where the conversation died, they literally stopped responding....I even pulled the old double message excuse saying, "Hey did you get my message lol?" didn't work.

Point being here, if you don't want to hang out with someone and you don't think they're worth your time then just don't do it. I'm bummed out that I got flaked on sure, but I'm not angry about it, hopefully this guy can get the message. I get why girls can't be straightforward about these things in case the guy gets confrontational but you're seriously making things worse by pretending to be his friend. Just tell him you're not interested in the 1v1 hang outs and you dont think you too are compatible as partners, and do it in a non-dickish way, he'll get over it eventually.

>>16986927
>I will just flat out tell him that I think he has a crush on me and that I would not be interested in dating him ever
>Also, I've told him "no" 17 times in a row to the things he's invited me to.

well how about just tell him you are not comfortable hanging out with him alone and tell him to stop asking you to these things.
You don't need to make any speculation about his feeling to say the above.
Silly woman.

>>16986942
Yeah- I mean I don't have a problem rejecting him- I just want to know what is the best method of "bringing it up" since he won't take any steps.

What do you think about my idea to ask him "are you asking me as a date or as a friend?"

Again I have no problem rejecting him once I feel that he's given me something to reject

>>16986950
I feel like that will hurt his feelings.

I don't want to ruin the shred of confidence he has.
If I can get him. To admit that he wants to date me, then I can reject him in a way that isn't a personal attack on who he is.
I can say "I'm sorry, we go to different colleges and I don't do long distance" or "I'm flattered, but I have a crush on someone else" (both true things).
If I have to come right out and say "I don't like spending time alone with you", then it will be harder for him to cope with because I'm literally rejecting who he is.

>>16986959

Don't ask him that. Just say you don't want to hang out or do what most girls do and just ignore texts people send you.

>>16986917
I'm going to tell you this from experience but you're not doing this guy a favor by staying quiet. The longer you keep things going and waiting for him to tell you he likes you, the worse you're setting him up and the more you're suffering, as well.

All you have to do is tell him someone mentioned that he likes you, and be honest with him. It sounds more like you're afraid of what others will think of you for handling him this way.

I was the same way, and didn't want to hurt other people until I realized it was only because I didn't want to be seen as a 'bitch' by my group of friends. It's not fair to either you or him, to put up with something you clearly don't want to.

Don't lie to him about seeing someone if you're not, you're only going to make things worse. Really, regardless, it's going to be awkward to some degree so just prepare yourself.

Again, just mention that someone mentioned he likes you, and ask if you guys can talk about it...and turn him down. The only reason he's talking to you is because he thinks he has a chance because of how you're acting, knowingly or not.

>>16986934
if he invites you out again, say no and just tell him you're getting the vibe that he likes you from how much he's asking you to hang out and it's making you uncomfortable, seriously why are you making this so much harder?

holy shit, girl, stop procrastinating.

>>16986959
if he's as shy as you say, he's not going to give you an opening until he can convince you to go out with him, to which he'll most likely awkwardly put the moves on you.

>>16986978
Thanks for the advice.

None of my friends even talk to him anymore or know that he and I have been talking.

I don't want to be mean because that makes me feel bad about myself. Like I'd almost rather waste time seeing him more than do or say something like that which would make me feel guilty and bad for him.

I'm also afraid that he'll be reduced to a woman hating robot if I reject him in a way that is too personal.

I mean I am definetly a wimp in this situation but i know that it will make me feel bad about myself if I do something that hurts his feelings.

Maybe I can suck it up and do it by thinking that it will be worse for him if I keep waiting for him to make a move.
Ugh, sorry. I'm not used to doing mean things and this really goes against my morals

>>16986990
No, I definitely understand because I was the same way for a long time. You have to realize, like you said, that you're doing both yourselves a favor in the long run by not staying quiet about it.

Either way, no matter how you do it, he's going to get hurt when he realizes you don't like him. The question is if you want it to hurt less or more by keeping things going?

You sound like a nice person, anon, and I'm being honest when I say that he's not going to be a woman hater because of this. He might be salty about it, and reasonably upset, but he'll get over it.

You can turn him down and still do it in a way that's nice and not outright telling him he's undesirable/tearing down his ego. Just make it clear that he's not for you.

Good luck, anon.

>>16987002
Alright, I think I'll just tell him then.
Would it be better to do it face to face or text?

>>16987005
whatever you're more comfortable with is what it really boils down to, most people would say not to do it over text but it would spare him the embarrassment of face to face, and also give you time to come up with what you want to say so you're both not as nervous or tongue tied.

It might come off as impersonal but again, you've already turned him down multiple times to hang out.

>>16986917
>I was thinking about just saying something like "oh thank you so much for inviting me but I actually started seeing someone recently and he said he didn't feel comfortable with me hanging out one on one with another guy"

Yeah I guess this woul be the best way to go about it , or even genuinely start seeing someone and see how he reacts