Clinically depressed trans girl here. I desperately want to feel close to someone, physically and otherwise.
I've never had a boyfriend and don't know how to make it happen. And I'm already almost 30.
Hate my life.
>>16986180
Have you been to therapy op?
>>16986180
>trans girl
Mentally Ill man*
FTFY
>>16986180
being clinically depressed means you are not stable enough to be in a relationship. by saying 'i am clinically depressed' you are admitting that your life and emotions are outside of your control, so how could you possibly help someone deal with theirs if you cant even deal with your own?
relationships do not fix people.
>>16986185
Yeah lots. Therapy has been difficult for me. It's like there's a disconnect between me and the therapy.
>>16986187
Hey thanks, asshole.
>>16986189
A lot of depressed people have significant others. that said, a part of me agrees with what you're saying :(
I feel pretty broken at times and can't even talk about it.
>>16986193
>a lot of depresed people have significant others
yes, keyword here is depressed. as in, having a relationship didnt fix their depression. as in, they are depressed and their partners are forced to deal with that depression.
you are asking to inflict your depression onto someone else.
>>16986193
>Hey thanks, asshole.
>I'm going to continue lying to myself and dismiss everyone who is not subverted by constant propaganda and social pressure by calling them names.
Don't the Mentally ill uber faggots kill themselves anyways?
>>16986180
Fuck off Taylor
ignore the troll op. anyway i second what the others say, you won't fix your depression with an SO. In fact, you're liable to get them upset as well.
Do you have friends? Develop those first, as much as you can. Once you feel you're stable enough, then try going out.
Not saying you're mentally ill like that other anon, and I do believe that what gender you identify as is something that people should get to decide for themselves.
However, remember that not everyone shares your view on genders. The majority of people, tolerant or not, associate the word girl with someone who was born with a vagina. Call yourself a girl in your mind all you want, but when communicating with society, trans mtf (male to female) is a lot more descriptive than trans girl.
As for finding a bf, that's a pretty narrow term and narrow state of mind. Better off searching for an agender anti-cis demisexual feminist provider. I hear those are all the rage these days.
>>16986196
Depressions is very rarely cured. Usually it's a lifetime affliction. Doesn't mean I can't lead a mostly normal life, though. And that includes romance.
>>16986200
Sent you some Skype messages, though now I feel like they were too harsh. Right speech is something I really struggle with. It feels weird sending you messages without knowing if you can read them or not.
>>16986203
No I don't have friends. Did a fantastic job of pushing them all out of my life, one by one. And I'm not trying to fix my depression with a bf. Not sure why you all think this. I can be depressed and have a boyfriend, right?
>>16986205
Great thanks for the soul-crushing reminder that I'm not like other people and kinda don't fit in anywhere. I'd almost forgotten.
Why is it always the men we hear about? I've never heard about a woman wishing they were a guy.
RIP WHITE CIS MALE
listen to life of pablo. it's on spotify and apple music now. will change your life; it's a gospel album
>>16986215
>depression is rarely cured
actual clinical depression, yes. but if you are actually depressed then no you cant live a normal life. cuz a mostly normal life doesnt involve being depressed for 99% of your time.
otherwise it wouldnt be depression
>>16986193
>I feel pretty broken at times
You have my sympathy, I'd feel broken too if I mutilated my genitals in order to be something that I'm not.
>>16986229
>Lee Zimmerman
It is the nigger killer
PRAISE BE!!!!!
>>16986236
There is a Zimzam get on /pol/
>>16986228
"shhh don't make the abomination feel bad, you might hurt some Liberals feelings and make them feel offended for him."
>>16986215
Doesn't have to be soul-crushing though, does it? You're a biological man identifying as a woman who is attracted to men, and that's okay to be, I just don't get why it's so hard to admit, as if associating with the word man or male is horrifying somehow. Older generation bigots aside, I don't really believe there are many who aren't accepting when it comes to being transsexual, gay, bi, being in multiple relationships at once, prefering to not ever associate with other humans, or anything else unusual for that matter. What bugs people is all the ridiculous terminology people insist on making up.
All that harsh shit aside, I feel for you, depression is hell. Fifteen months and counting here, five on meds. You'll make it through, hang in there.
>>16986227
Yeah. I'm mostly lying to myself when I say I can live a normal life.
>>16986228
Wow.
>>16986260
Thanks I guess. I don't want to be associated with masculinity. Sorry if that's upsetting for some people.
>>16986260
>Schultz
Even the name system knows you are a shrilling Jew.
I agree with some of the other users. As someone with has suffered with cronic depression and who is trans myself, I know that relationships do not do anything to alliviate the pain. Even transitioning within itself can not help you.
You need to work on yourself, on your thoughts, on your actions before you can be happy. You must learn to cope and overcome the depression and stand on your own two feet.
A boyfriend won't help you. Only you have the power to make a better life for yourself.
>>16986264
Masculinity is a choice, there are plenty of feminine biological men and masculine bioligical women. Which gender you were born as is objective though and either one is a-ok, but trying to deny it and label yourself as agender, genderfluid or other colorful words is psychologically repressive to yourself and confusing to everyone else.
Identity is up to one's own free will but gender isn't fluid (unless you're a hermaphrodite), genitals and genetics are things.
>>16986264
this is whats so retarded about trans identity. Theres nothing wrong with being a feminine man. Especially if you are actually attracted to other men because there are a ton of gay people like that.
But what you are essentially wanting is a man who is normally attracted to people with a vagina, to also be attracted to you which is honestly unreasonable.
you can say "but i dont feel like im supposed to be a man" all you wan, but almost no one feels like what they believe they are supposed to be, the difference is most people accept that fact and play with the cards they are dealt.
>>16986298
Imperial Arms Pegasus !!fuGth1sh1t
>Theres nothing wrong with being a feminine man.
There is if you want to date women
>>16986305
kek
>>16986305
Its more difficult generally yes, but there are actually some women who like that.
>>16986311
It's*
And no.
>>16986264
>I don't want to be associated with masculinity
you have the body of a man you fucking retard. now you have a mutilated body of a man. not everybody can be what they want, welcome to life.
>>16986311
Imperial Arms Pegasus !!fuGth1sh1t
>there are actually some women who like that.
Where? All I attract is chubbies with rape fetishes and depression
>>16986314
"Bu.....but the SJW told me cutting up my body and inverting my Penis would make me complete and happy."
>>16986292
gender refers to the social and non-genetic, physical attributes assigned to a group of people.
so, women and skirts and makeup and rosy cheeks and cooking
and, men and muscles and electronics
Or, thats how tumblr defines it and thus is how they came up with those terms. im not saying its right (b/c i dont believe in the social genders) but thats the logic that they are using. no one is changing their genitalia except trans people.
>>16986316
get some money that will fix your problems.
Clinically depressed trans Godzilla here. I desperately want to destroy a city, physically and otherwise.
I've never had a destructive rampage and don't know how to make it happen. And I'm already almost 30.
Hate my life.
>>16986323
Imperial Arms Pegasus !!fuGth1sh1t
My only problem is listening to women who have problems
I don't really get why there is so much on OP. It's not like OP spouted some really out there stuff.
I mean if you aren't interested in dating a trans woman that's fine (I personally wouldn't either), but basically bullying someone just seeking advice is pretty degenerate.
>>16986321
>non-genetic physical attributes
>unlike social attributes, like muscles
what?
>>16986180
>I've never had a boyfriend and don't know how to make it happen. And I'm already almost 30.
Instead of making a thread about being depressed and being trans, how about you read the answers of the other 70% of faggots asking the same fucking question on this board about getting a gf/bf.
I wish we had a sticky.
>>16986332
people are bullying him because of how he acts. I guarantee he gets bullied on 4chan even when he doesn't announce hes trans
>>16986332
>degenerate
Saying Trans is ok
JUST
KEK
MY
SHIT
UP
>>16986334
females can be muscular. but no one associates women with muscles. and males are born with six packs; thus, non-genetic physical atribute.
muscles come with work, not genes
>>16986337
What did you expect from a Mentally ill fag?
*males arent born with six packs
>>16986332
you're right we all just hate trans people and want to bully them because we are psychopaths.
Its because most of them are just attention whores who have a mental illness that they dont want to try and fix, or show disingenuous efforts to fixing it, or are enabled by others.
Theres nothing wrong with having a mental illness, its just the way you were born, but what you do with it is entirely on you, and demanding society conform to your mental illness(which isn't what OP is directly doing, but is implying it by saying strait men wont date me) shows a massive amount of entitlement.
>>16986189
You can be stable enough with xanax
>>16986345
yes but absolutely no woman will ever reach the physical potential of a man when it comes to strength.
>>16986289
I'm not trying to cure my depression. I just want to be close to someone and suck his dick sometimes.
>>16986292
You don't really understand the concept of gender, no offense.
>>16986298
When did I say I wanted a straight bf? Bi would probably be best. I really worry that a straight guy would wake up one day and realize he's not attracted to me anymore.
>>16986314
Shut up.
Thread got away from me. I'm feeling really vulnerable.
>>16986355
Just wait until they start surgically implanting gorilla arms onto themselves and Liberals applaud them after they mutilate their genitals.
>>16986345
>females can be muscular. but no one associates women with muscles.
what a ridiculous argument
yes it is physically possible for some women to be "muscular", but people associate muscles with men because men are GENETICALLY predisposed to having more muscle, to a huge degree.
a randomly chosen man will lift more than a randomly chosen woman of the same age, with neither of them every working out, the vast majority of the time.
so a man who works out and get extra muscular is emphasizing an inherently masculine feature.
this is the main problem with that sex/gender distinction tumblrinas like you like to bandy about, most of the time what they claim is really social are just widespread recognition of natural biological differences
>>16986355
not the point. no one is competing in a bb contest here.
fine, different example. women and long eye lashes. plenty of men have long eye lashes but they are only associated with women.
>>16986363
Are you a woman?
>>16986337
>it's a newfag bitching about /adv/ saying we need a sticky
Embarrassing. Do you know how this board has always operated? I do not believe so
>>16986364
>plenty of men have long eye lashes but they are only associated with women.
Because women usually have longer eye lashes than men....
Your fucking "not all X is like that"
Kill yourself faggot.
>>16986360
because you are dressing/acting like a woman, and trying to convince people you are a woman.
Spoiler alert: gay men aren't attracted to women, and strait men aren't attracted to anything with a penis.
So yes your best bet would be a bisexual man but they are extremely rare so again you are really only hurting yourself.
>>16986370
not in my experience. only cartoons show a large difference.
ntm the ways that women lengthen eyelashes with makeup.
>>16986360
also most people who ask for advice on the internet start feeling vulnerable, especially on an anonymous imageboard.
>>16986375
yorue not paying very close attention or youre willingly delusional
>>16986373
Actually semi good idea. you shoould date a ftm trans person or someone who is bi/pan whatever. they might be able to make you happier
>>16986375
there is actually a surprisingly low amount of information about this online.
I guess no one wants to actually take the time to measure peoples eyelashes.
>>16986380
would they be attracted to them though? they said all they wanted was someone's penis to suck and a ftm trans person wouldnt have a penis.
>>16986373
It wasn't a choice to be trans. But yes it was a choice to transition.
I guess I'll probably die alone.
>>16986387
Yeah, I don't want a ftm. Or mtf or really a girl. I'm mostly straight.
Do you prefer this thread over the one you made on /r9k/? Someone wanted to fuck you there and someone else wants to be your bf
>>16986391
how fucking hypocritical is that? You want someone who isn't trans to date you, but you won't date a trans person? This is what i was talking about about entitlement.
Also stop bumming everyone out just hire a hooker on a regular basis and use the same one over and over so it feels like a relationship.
>>16986391
>wont date ftm
>expects cis straight guys to date her
ftms can get phalloplasty among other surgeries.
>>16986391
>I guess I'll probably die alone.
Preferably sooner rather than later.
>>16986398
i forgot to add, and don't feel like it isn't a relationship because biologically you are a man so one way or another you are going to have to spend money for sex.
>>16986369
Yup you sure showed me there buddy. I guess it would be embarrassing into applying some sense of a easily manageable filter system for these threads. I sure have learnt my lesson but please enlighten me on your massive oldfag dick, dickhead.
>>16986398
I can't help who I'm attracted to. And I'm not demanding that every guy be attracted to me. I don't understand how my sexuality is entitlement.
>>16986391
Did you go through HRT? Sex realignment surgery? If not, do you consider it?
>>16986398
How can feelings be hypocritical?
It's kind of like with people of different races, right? Not being interested in dating black people, doesn't make you racist, does it?
It's also not like one can really change that.
>>16986382
It's almost like this not important to anyone but a bunch of mentally ill faggots
It's almost like the internet is not representative of any population on Earth since a bunch of mentally ill faggots have nothing better to do with their lives than influence public opinions of their degenerate disgusting mentally ill selves through a fucking japanese image board site
>>16986391
>I guess I'll probably die alone.
Hopefully with a bullet though our head after you realize you are a fucking abomination and are already going to hell anyways
Trump will win and stop self-indulgence anyways, enjoy your shit life while it lasts anyways faggot.
>>16986413
i think that the point is that you cant complain about no one wanting to date you as a trans person when you yourself wont date a trans person.
>>16986415
feelings aren't inheritly hypocritical or not hypocritical. I don't understand what your arguement is.
I can feel like im entitled to get an inheritance and also feel like i dont need to leave any for my family.
Those are both feelings but its obviously hypocritical.
>>16986415
Yes did HRT. No SRS yet.
>>16986424
Okay. Kinda see the point but it still seems to be reaching pretty hard. I won't date a trans person myself, so I never get to complain about being alone ever?
>>16986426
Maybe we just define hypocrisy in different ways?
I always thought of it as a kind of "do as I say, not as I do" trait. If you don't actually demand anything, you wouldn't be a hypocrite in my book. I would have thought, that would be the most common definition.
>>16986436
You don't get to complain when you've purposefully elected to turn yourself into something that 99.9% of the population finds unappealing.
>>16986436
strawman. You are limiting your dating pool exponentially by purposefully not appealing to the majority of suitors, and denying many of those who would find you appealing. Thats why you can't complain about being alone.
I'd say the same thing to a strait man/woman who was being too picky, although itd be hard for them to be as picky as you are being.
>you generally don't want a strait male
> you don't want a woman
>you want a bisexual male preferably, literally the rarest form of sexuality
> you don't want anyone who is trans
and you limit other peoples ability to be attracted to you because of being trans, which as i mentioned before basically auto eliminates the vast majority of strait and gay men.
>>16986453
So what is your advice? All you seem to be doing is highlighting how shit my situation is.
>>16986456
Kill yourself
>>16986456
Open up your options. work on looking more conventionally feminine and try out some relationships that you wouldn't normally try, such as a relationship with other trans ppl. you never know what might happen
>>16986456
Either drop some standards or stay and bitch
>>16986464
I don't think I could really be happy with a trans person. Maybe I'd be better off trying for a cis girl but then I don't know if I'm attracted really.
>>16986467
I shouldn't have to settle. No one should.
>>16986474
>I shouldn't have to settle. No one should.
Liberals Everyone
>>16986482
How do you even know if I'm a liberal?
And no I shouldn't have to settle. I'm great desu...
>>16986474
Then keep searching
>>16986489
O my god this is gold
Please keep going.
>>16986492
Well it's kinda true. I work hard, hopefully have a future. And stuff. Actively try to better myself when not being hardcore depressed.
Why is it so hard to find love here?
>>16986503
>>16986474
>I shouldn't have to settle. No one should.
In an ideal world, sure. Unless one is absolutely sheltered, one will have to come to terms with the need to compromise.
If you believe that you should not compromise on that point, you will have to deal with the fact, that it's going to be hard.
I am so full of this, I cant really understand the shit that happens around us.
About being "Clinically depressed" it is no problem at all! I take my meds since I was 14. This does not mean that I cant be on a relationship, ppl are a bunch of retarded ignorant assholes...
I always see and read about a transgender/transexual girl talking about how life is, and how it is bad...
But most of them, were only blindfolded by society, friends and family.
I mean, I was married with a trans woman, for 2 years. Got her with another guy in my bed... Dont give a damn... I just dumped the insecure closed trans girl that I helped to release into a whore full of life. I just dumped her.
I dont see a difference between a transexual and a cis woman, it does not exist! It does not matter what you have between you legs, it matter what you have in your soul, mind, your essence...
Even with me thinking this way, alot of woman trash on me, cis and trans women.
*That I am a gay, that I like penises, That I am a T-Lover,
I mean, WTF?! what I am suposed to do? wait to you get your srs? damn...
I cant be the only guy in this fuck world! to really see with another eyes.
I know that I am not.
Society hurts us all, everyone, it does not matter if you a trans, if you are fat, if you are ugly, pretty, handsome, skinny, tall, small.
They will be alot of ppl to puke shit on us...
And with this, alot of good girls get blindfolded with those lies... And me, a guy who is different, become invisible to ones eyes...
I am not complaining...
What I want to say is,
There is someone, who could really see you, but you can see him/her?
We need to forget all those lies that we learned to breathe...
So girl, just believe, That there is alot of guys and girls(fool or not) that are willing to share his/her life with you, to see who you really are, without caring about of other ppl say...
Advice, dont let your earlier bad experiences stop you for having the good ones.
>>16986180
First of all, how far along are you in transition?
Second, are you looking for sex, a short/medium-term relationship, or a long-term relationship? For trans women, there's often a huge difference in how to go about each compared to other women.
>>16986196
>>16986189
>so how could you possibly help someone deal with theirs if you cant even deal with your own?
>relationships do not fix people.
You said it yourself, relationships aren't meant for fixing people. There's no reason emotionally unstable people can't simply enjoy the pleasure of each other's company.
>>16986215
>I can be depressed and have a boyfriend, right?
Yes, absolutely (just read this board to see tons of examples).
>>16986215
>Depressions is very rarely cured. Usually it's a lifetime affliction.
afaik most studies say uncomplicated cases tend to resolve completely, with an average of 1 further episode over lifetime. Severe cases with complications (or secondary to other conditions) have a far worse prognosis, naturally, but it's still not considered untreatable or permanent in most people. In chronic cases there's also a split between cases that recur episodically (considered to be closely related to bipolar, basically type 2 without the hypomania) and static cases without major variation on the scale of days, weeks, months, or years (where neurochemical defects are suspected).
In your case, it sounds like it could be secondary to other ongoing issues, which means it's pretty much going to stick around until those are fixed.
>>16986226
>Why is it always the men we hear about? I've never heard about a woman wishing they were a guy.
I wonder this too, since afaik studies have pointed to only a 2-5:1 MtF:FtM ratio but going by personal experience and the people who post here and on other boards, it seems more like 25:1.
My suspicion is that this is because FtMs are substantially more socially integrated and better-adjusted on average (due to various things like demographic makeup, higher emotional stability, easier passing, etc), so they're less likely to post on 4chan or otherwise come into contact with freaks and weirdos like us.
In day-to-day life, the difference in social expectations by gender also inevitably creates a huge gap: routine gender-nonconforming behavior by women is almost always tolerated and often not even registered, while such behavior in men is considered highly deviant and disturbing. Basically, when people see FtMs who don't pass, they think "tomboy" or "butch" (slightly deviant), but when they see a non-passing MtF they think "trannie" or "drag queen" (extremely deviant).
This means the average person may not be able to remember meeting ANY FtMs, because their mind did not classify them in the box with MtFs as "transgender/transsexual".
>>16986215
>No I don't have friends. Did a fantastic job of pushing them all out of my life, one by one.
Very difficult to find a boyfriend if you don't have any friends at all, they help a lot with most of the process (giving advice, sharing tips, networking, helping you cope with rejection/breakup, providing moral support, etc). Try to make some, it's usually much easier than finding a boyfriend (especially as a trans girl), so it's a good first step.
>>16986264
OP, if I may,
Why do you punish yourself by stating these things about yourself on 4chan? I'm sure you know that what you have said here buys you a one way ticket Kektown on the ol' Kill-Yourself-Fag Rail. It seems to me that asking to be berated on the internet is the second worst home remedy for a clinically depressed Anon could dream up. From this, I begin to draw suspicions:
1. You are a Metatroll who gets his, or her, or their quasi-rocks off by trolling trolls. You lure them in by weaving your web with a perfect thread that has just the right juice. No troll could deny it. Once you have them ensnared, you laugh and laugh as you watch them waste away.. All for your own sick amusement.
Or
2. You really do have a problem, but not the exact one you posted about. I see that you attached this pretentious quote (even you must admit only a Metatroll would play so perfectly into it's audience's hand) from the writer Anais Nin. Anais Nin, the very same who's fame sprouts from the journals of her life, full of strife and hardship. Love and deceit. Ms. Nin was no stranger to depression herself, yet she grew to become a famed and renowned author because of these exploits. She made it big on her issues, while you, OP, in your late twenties, have suffered ten-fold. Yet your fame has not yet surfaced. Even while you've supposedly pushed all of your friends away "one by one" do you really "want to feel close to someone, physically and otherwise"? Or are you just trying to crowd-source a saucy love interest for the novel that will rocket you to stardom?
Maybe I'm Encyclopedia Brown or maybe I'm just reading way into this one, but, OP, to me it seems like the best thing for you to do is to find a more supportive place to post things of this nature and maybe take a brake from all the erotica novels for a while and contemplate the best course of action for for your life that does not incorporate ending it, eh?
if you still down to fuck, kik me @itchinforalickin
