Anyone else get jealous of people who grew up in religious/ traditional families? It seems like where I'm from very few families are happy and stay together, largely because they are conditioned to think there will always be something better for them if they leave their spouse as soon as things get tough. My parents split when I was young and I had to go between their houses constantly because they felt that joint custody was the only fair solution, regardless of how miserable travelling between houses 3 times a week was making me. Out of my 10 closest friends, only half have parents that are still married.
I want to marry a girl with traditional values because I don't want to risk putting my own children through this, but because of my upbringing (both parents are fedoras) I don't think I could possibly have a good connection with a religious girl but at the same time I would struggle to keep on attending church when i find it hard to have faith in God.
Not really sure where this is going, so I'll stop the rant here. TL;DR feel that growing up in a progressive background has made me unable to connect with the opposite sex and scared of pursuing relationships.
The grass is always greener, man.
>Anyone jealous of people who grew up brainwashed into believing an invisible wizard in the sky who's supposed to be the ultimate judge who will banish you into an eternity of suffering if you do not accept him as the true lord and savior even if you were literally the most altruistic, selfless person imaginable?
No. Not really.
>>16985510
Nah
When I was a kid, the family that lives behind us were pretty strict Christians. They wouldn't even let their kids watch DBZ because it was "too violent"
I wouldn't want to grow up like that. The real world is fucking harsh.
I grew up in a religious household, and it was pretty shitty. My mom put up with an abusive partner because the Bible says it's wrong to get a divorce. And they both had this idea that somehow it was better to have children that grew up seeing marriage as shitty and miserable and full of fights/breaking shit rather than parting ways if the relationship no longer makes you happy.
>>16985553
>pretty strict Christians
Also this seems horrible. My grandparents are incredibly Baptist, and their idea of fun is playing a game of Bible Trivia. I really wish I were joking but the box for it is in their sunroom.
Dunno, my family stayed together but just fought all the time. Mom is religious, dad isn't. Religion didn't do anything to help them. Though to be fair, my mom is the type of person who doesn't see religion as a reason to be a better person, instead it's a get out-of-jail-free card that gives her bonus points if she tells other people they should be in jail.
Focus on finding someone with your values. Or rather, getting to know people and finding out their values, Religion doesn't necessarily guarantee beliefs on marriage or relationships, a lot of people seem to pick and choose what parts to follow.
And think about this.. Your response to your parents having a bad marriage is wanting a good one for yourself. It's not crazy to imagine some other people might react the same. A girl who didn't have a nice traditional happy family might want one all the more for herself.
There isn't really any "right" answer to your questions and/or rant, but there's some perspective I guess.
Now that I'm older, 29, I kind of do envy those people. Probably started around my mid 20's. I sorta feel the same way as you actually. It would seem better to be in a relationship with someone who had more traditional values. But just because they had that kind of upbringing doesn't necessarily mean they'd be a better person. But it just seems the two go hand in hand. Conversely I couldn't be with someone who was a full on Atheist though. So the more traditional values route would seem more viable. I really like the sense of community that some Churches provide. While you can help your fellow neighbor without Church it just seems Church does a good job of bringing it together and making it easier.
My house wasn't really religious. My dad was Baptist but never went to church and my mom is Buddhist. She practices but doesn't go to temple but a few times a year, and it's only with her friend. None of that was ever instilled upon us kids. We were allowed to believe what we wanted.
So I grew up to be Agnostic. I think I could be persuaded to find God if given the proper guidance. If you are a full blown Atheist I could see it being hard for you to think about finding faith and God, but it's not too far fetched if given the proper guidance.
Just keep an open mind.
>>16985590
>So I grew up to be Agnostic. I think I could be persuaded to find God if given the proper guidance. If you are a full blown Atheist I could see it being hard for you to think about finding faith and God, but it's not too far fetched if given the proper guidance.
I think we are pretty much identical on terms of religious beliefs, I'm agnostic but I'm kinda fond of Catholicism. Maybe one day in the future I'll be able to bring myself to go to church on Sundays, i already avoid eating meat on Fridays.
I would have loved to be raised in a family where arranged marriages were a thing. I would probably have a wife by now.
>>16985750
I think a lot of people are becoming this way.
>>16985510
>Anyone else get jealous of people who grew up in religious/ traditional families?
Nope. Mom used to be religious but has been atheist for many years. When she was religious, she was with my father, and he was fucking crazy. Would beat the shit out of us, raped my mom in front of me, would lock her outside of the house, naked, in very bad weather, etc. She had to jump out of the car, while pregnant, because he was going to beat her, strip her, and leave her in a very bad part of town--all because she forgot to get lemons for her chicken and rice.
>>16985510
No. I grew up in Shitroit to a muslim couple. While my family is not extremist tier they were always very traditional when it came to many topics such dating. I couldn't bring girls home without them throwing a fit, couldn't go out to drink with my buddies etc. This shit can get really insidious if someone takes their religion too seriously.
>>16985757
Having a woman isn't the same as having someone you love. If you get arranged in a marriage with someone you're not compatible with you're fucked.
>>16985770
>>>16985510
>>Anyone else get jealous of people who grew up in religious/ traditional families?
>Nope. Mom used to be religious but has been atheist for many years. When she was religious, she was with my father, and he was fucking crazy. Would beat the shit out of us, raped my mom in front of me, would lock her outside of the house, naked, in very bad weather, etc. She had to jump out of the car, while pregnant, because he was going to beat her, strip her, and leave her in a very bad part of town--all because she forgot to get lemons for her chicken and rice.
Thats a really extreme example though. The family values I'm talking about mean there is absolutely no abuse or fear.
