Hi /adv/, disabled anon here.
I'm not sure if this is really the right place for this but I figured what is there to lose. I have a form of muscular atrophy and am completely disabled. I depend on my family for all of the daily necessities of life and live with my father. This includes bathing and going to the bathroom etc.
My dilema is this:
I still get sexual urges and have a desire to jerk it. But the only way to do that now would be to get "set up". But I am afraid of being upfront with my father because its obviously an uncomfortable topic. In the past, I had a caregiver who helped me get in the right position but that was over 5 years ago.
How do I get over the weirdness and just ask him? Should I even do it?
Easiest solution would be to abstain. No awkward talks or anything, and with time desire fades. Easiest way to do that is to distance yourself from porn or lewds or anything like that, wherever you may find them. It'll take a little while but worth it in the end.
>>16985156
would banning myself from porn eventually cause erectile dysfunction? I don't want to get into a situation where "lose it if you don't use it".
You're disabled, but you haven't lost your humanity.
Say you have something uncomfortable to talk to him about and that once you've discussed it, if he is extremely uncomfortable, you can both pretend the conversation didn't happen.
Your dad is also human, so hopefully he will understand and "assist" by setting you up.
There's no way you can get a part-time attendant to help? A friend of mine (who I dated a few years back) has MD and AFAIK her attendants help her out with positioning and such for sex, because she normally prefers to date other people with physical disabilities.
A parent doing this sounds like some awk, my guy. I don't know what the particulars of your limitations are, but you could also see if there's a device/toy that could assist you in getting off.
http://www.dhrn.ca/files/sexualhealthmanual_lowres_2010_0208.pdf
http://www.amazon.com/The-Ultimate-Guide-Sex-Disability/dp/1573443042
>>16985508
If you live in the US and you are having trouble with finding attendant services, you could try contacting your local Center for Independent Living. They're staffed by people with disabilities and are usually very helpful.
http://www.ilru.org/projects/cil-net/cil-center-and-association-directory
>>16985508
yeah I was thinking about getting a device that would let me do it hands-free, but the thing is I would still need help putting it on.
>>16985493
Not to seem insensitive, but when are you going to "use it"?
>>16985615
like disabled people don't have sex lol
Don't have your dad do it, he's family and it's too awkward.
Tell him you'd like some help from a part time attendant.
Or hire a prostitute. Just literally having someone come in and give you a handjob, hands only, no risk for STDs, anything.
>>16985615
The chances of me of actually being in that type of situation in my life is probably close to zero, but you never know what might happen. A dude can dream right?
>>16985642
Are there like dating sites for disabled people?
>>16985135
You want your dad to jerk you off?
>>16985783
Sounds more to me like OP wants to do it himself, but needs help getting into a position where that is possible for him. The problem is that he's worried that his intent will be obvious.
>>16985828
Hmmm...would has dad be mad or what?
