The only reason I haven't killed myself is fear of what comes after.
Logically, it's nothing. I revert to how I was before I was born. Just nothingness. That scares me out.
I just want there to be something better for me. Just let me put a bullet in my skull and then live in paradise/heaven/whatever.
I was raised Catholic, but now I'm agnostic, if Jesus appeared before me and is like "hey bro I'm real", I'll believe.
I'm just so lonley. I am not good company to myself.
I got out of a two year relationship with the only person I could ever love in December, and I don't know what's going on anymore, I'm fucking floored.
I don't know why I'm posting here. Ignore this I guess.
Plus side, if I do decide to off myself, I'll post a stream on /b/ so op might deliver. Not yet. I need to be sure that whatever comes next is better than now.
So uh, existential general?
You were nothing before, why does nothing after scare you?
I'd be a lot more worried about hell being real than nothingness.
it's not been too long since you broke up. those things take time anon. you'll be good.
as for your question: everybody has his own version of "afterlife". nobody went there and consciously came back again, so there's no answer to this. you can dream up whatever gives you the most security and it will be as realistic, valid and possible as every major religion or spiritual theory.
>>16984216
Oh definitely that scares me. I've just had a lot of mental issues with my perspective of consciousness fucking with me. The thought of losing it completely is terrifying, but traditional thoughts of hell are incredibly terrifying.
Lmao, this all boils down to "I want to die but I'm a pussy"
>>16984225
OH definitely. I'm not looking for /x/ roleplayers to tell me my tulpa with carry me to the astral plane. There's no answers, it just scares me. Like it's becoming a problem, I'm terrified always. I don't know what im expecting from this thread but I thank all of you for the kindness
>>16984227
>"I want to die but I'm a pussy"
no, it boils down to "i'm devastated and extremely sad but i don't really want to die"
>>16984234
well, i have had these thoughts too. the idea of just vanishing into nothing is terrifying. or you could think it's beautiful. i mean, isn't it fascinating that babies come from nothingness and develope such strong and differentiated characters just to get lost again?
>>16984240
buts everything into perspective again. i mean, every single human being faces the same. it doesn't matter how you lifed your life, or what you achieved. it's pretty liberating imo
I need to sleep now. I will talk to you all tommorow. I love you.
There was a time when I was younger (around middle school) where I also had those thoughts. But as the years went on, I guess I just accepted it for what it was. It's just the natural course of things.
Part of what helped was just that I had other things to do (school, chores, hobbies). Yeah, we die, but old age is old age. You have a long ways to go and so does everyone else. Being "middle aged" is still just supposed to be only partway there.
You also reminded me of these quotes from Stephen Hawking:
>"I have lived with the prospect of an early death for the last 49 years. I'm not afraid of death, but I'm in no hurry to die. I have so much I want to do first..."
>"We have this one life to appreciate the grand design of the universe, and for that, I am extremely grateful."
So, live out your life. Find ways to be happy. Get out there.
>>16984212
>You can't be scared of the void
>when you are the void
>>16984212
Am I wrong that suicide people end up in hell for not respecting the life God gave them?
Watch the movie Constantine???
