I'm 21 and getting married this July, graduating college in December.
My fiancee is 37 but looks very young. She will be here in May, spend 2 months with me and my family, and then live with me in an apartment while I finish school and find a job.
Any advice on getting married young to an older woman?
>>16981478
Holy shit man, that's a huge age gap.
You're still very young, see if you can be gf and bf a little longer.
>>16981478
>She will be here in May
What catalogue did you order her from?
>>16981485
>>16981480
Right, so she's coming from South Korea and finally got her fiancee visa. We dated for a while when I lived and studied in South Korea.
This is the only way to get her legally into the US to live with me, marriage.
But I decided that back in June of last year. We've been engaged and planning it since June so it's nothing new at this point.
>>16981492
She's using you to get to the US and will be choking down dick once in the states. That age gap is too damn high.
>>16981505
You can't tell him nothing.
He's in love.
Any advice for married life in general?
>>16981478
This thread is bait or you are retarded.
She was already taking dick before you were born, enough said.
>>16981510
>>16981505
She's really not. I insisted that she come. It was my idea and I wanted her to. She has a wonderful job and life in South Korea and is quitting her nice job and leaving it all behind to come and be with me. Really. That's not it.
>>16981512
She was a virgin until age 31.
I'm not trolling or anything. I just wanted some honest advice about marriage guys.
Not >don't do it
But actual advice assuming already that it's going to happen because we are thrilled to do this.
>>16981510
You're not wrong though. Telling me not to get married isn't helpful. We're going to do this. I'm not canceling my wedding and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
I want advice for being married in general.
Advice for keeping your wife happy, for ways to keep the marriage going, all this.
>>16981515
lmaoing at ur life weirdo
>>16981559
Why. Come on now. I just wanted some advice.
are you marrying your teacher?
>>16981478
It'll be just like any other marriage. Treat her with respect and view her as an equal and not as an elder, same shit you've been doing while you were boyfriend and girlfriend. Youre living my dream desu
I don't really have any advice for you in this situation, but I came here to give you my best wishes and congratulations. I pray that all works out for you, and know that you've given losers like me hope.
>>16981836
No, look we just didn't know the age until like the 5th or 6th date, strangely. It just didn't come up. It's not like it wasn't a big deal. There have been many times it's come up. Of course there has. We've talked about everything. And we've met each other's families so of course it has. But we can make it work.
Ultimately, she looks at me and treats me like I'm older, and she looks younger than me. If you saw pictures, you wouldn't be able to tell she's older. We've talked about what it'll be like when I'm old. I know that. but I want to do this. I love her and her age. I don't see it as a bad thing, I love every part of her, really.
>>16981869
Ok. I just want to make her happy and for my family to get along with her. I hope to have many romantic dates together and we're fairly self-contained and happy just doing things together as a couple, love to travel, and she's very supportive of my work and studying. I don't foresee any big problems now, presuming I'm able to get a job within a reasonable time from graduating, and I will work very hard every day to make sure that happens. I study mathematics and am well on my way to becoming an actuary, just need to pass another test.
Thanks.
>>16981914
Wow. Thank you very much. I really appreciate that.
>>16981478
I do so feel you got married way too young. You literally almost just got out of the hour and are just now experiencing independence and freedom from the ties of youth- now is when you go and do things that you've always wanted to do and enjoy your prime. Why put on the shackles that are marriage so early? And trust me, they are shackles. It might not feel like it because she's been in Korea, but relationships are restrictors. And that's not a lonely biased opinion- I'm still w my girlfriend of years.
But I know you want advice on marriage. And if I've been happy with my girlfriend and I've seen happy couples, the best advice I can give is enjoy your alone time as much as possible.
>>16981944
I mean, I think I've done quite a lot more than anyone I know my age.. I know how that sounds but really. I really wanted to settle down and simply work and go home to my wife and still travel with her on occasion.
I'll certainly take your advice to heart though.
>>16981478
No advice. It's a marriage, just like any other. I really hope it works out and you two stay in love
>>16981963
I'm glad. And also, something I'll note is that as you are with someone more and more the less eccentuated their perfections will become and the more noticeable their flaws will be. Just keep that in mind, and make sure you don't regret your decision. You say you won't now but you aren't even hitched yet. And by that same advice, when you start noticing more and more of her flaws more and more often (which will happen) take that alone time and find more in yourself. Sorry I didn't include this in the first reply, but bear with me,trust me this is quality advice truly. Find more in yourself and you'll realize the more you can rely on yourself, the less you'll point out her flaws mentally.
>>16981559
ayy lmao b0ss
>>16981982
Ok I will remember this
>>16981478
Nothing really matters, unless both of you are genuine and are in love. After 21 age gap can be ignored just as any superstition. I advise you to have lots of mad sex, and be happy.
>>16982030
We are. I will have lots of sex and I'll try to be happy lol
Let's see - 37 year old woman leaves her great job and great life to move to another country and marry a 21 year old...
Well, good luck, I guess
WTF Is wrong with you?
Like normally i don't judge, and all that stuff yada yada, each to his own. But 4 real?
21 and 37?
How many sexual partners have you had before her? Should you not like, go travel the world, screw mad chicks, snort lines of coke.
From a serious perspective, i think you are to young to marry in any case. Sure if you are 21 and she is 21, i would say too young, but go ahead and find out. BUT 37 dude. Like when you are going to be 34 - respectable male age, your wife will be 50....?
What about kids? she ain't exactly got time to spare.... You gonna wack one out next year then? Or no kids at all? It just seems so limited in Your life options on all levels. I get her side, hell i wouldn't mind a 21 year old QT at 37 to marry, but DUDE its just so out of whack on all levels. If you were a female and she was a male, ok. But i just, cant even, HUH????
I wish you all the luck, and a happy marriage, but i can't even begin to comprehend your thinking, and i am a 24 year old Male myself.
Like i've had 2 LTR; one of 2 years, and one of 3.5 years, and i can't even begint to imagine getting married. But like i said each to his own, but srsly OP Think it through a few more times atleast!!!!
Advice i can give from my relationships; give and take. Make her feel loved, Be a man and stand your ground, she will respect you for it. And show her your soft spot, but be able to go full beast killer mode to the rest of the world, so she will never stray!
>>16983022
I have been with 13 women before, and I've traveled to about 10 countries and backpacked solo all the way across 2 of them. My fiancee has been to over 25 countries though. We hope to start within a year and a half on a child. I've been thinking about it and reconsidering it every day for a year now at least and I've still got 2 more months to think about it.
I love the advice at the end though
>be able to go full beast killer mode to the rest of the world
Ok!
And i'm even more confused about the people who say "you have given me hope"?
WTF??? I can't WTF?
Have you guys ever heard of "the game" "the Red pill" like, Do you men not want to start a family?
HOW COULD YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT BABY MAMA MATERIAL IS IF YOU HAVENT LIKE Dated, fucked, and had a few LTR?
i'm just so confused. Don't get me wrong OP, i am happy, if you are happy! And i wish you the best, but i am just trying to fathom the thinking that would say "Yeah, this sounds like a great idea, get a chick who has 2 years for having a kid, while i have THE REST OF MY LIFE?
dafuq?
And all people talking about "true love" yadda yadda, get real, stop wearing rose coloured glasses and get real plz. Maybe i've seen to much, but i don't get how a 21 year old can claim he has "seen a lot in life" I would seriously advice you to go and see a therapist just to talk this through with a professional, maybe she can give you some food for thought, cuz i still can't HUH?
>>16983047
I'll make an appointment to see the university counselor, sure. Couldn't hurt.
I'm ready to give this my all, 100% and make it work even if it turns bad, really. And we are happy together now, yeah.
>>16983035
Ok, that gives me some more satisfaction, atleast. Maybe you are very Mature for your age. But just know, you can never turn back m8. You can always extend, but never turn back.
That is like gods gift to men. But again, it seems you have seen atleast something, but still, personally i'm aiming more for like 2 world trips merry go round, and like 80-100 woman, and some nice LTR and mini relationships.
But yeah, basically that, treat her like royalty, but be able to go out into the world and hunt that zebra and bring it back home. No holds barred!
I wish you luck, and maybe i'm just narrow minded and to conditioned by society and movies. But i want me them wolf of wallstreet years first for sure. Then i can become a nice, chilled down big poppa to two sweet lil kids with my waifu.
But are you not worried, that say when you are 32, and she is 50. You will not be attracted to her anymore?
And i think the KEY question you should ask yourself is. Were you originally planning to have kids in 1-2 years, or are you having them because of her timer. That is a very important question. If you say; yeah i was planning to have kids at 24 my whole life, that is reassuring, But if you are being put on HER timer, i would seriously consider, why should YOU throw away gods gift to you, for a woman. Like i said, i've had 2 LTR, and One went sour after 3.5 years, like insane sour. Shit went MAD.
You said you have been with 13 woman. But should i envision like backpacker motel 1 night stand, and maybe a few weeks total?
Any proper LTR in your home country? Cuz i really think you are glossing over a lot of things you literally have never experienced yet, and just 'assuming' they will be alright. while you lack the experience to know the gravity of the choices you are making?
Sorry i am getting on your case, but really i'm doing this for you m8!
this thread is a troll
>>16983078
I'm new 2 4chan.... :/ get recked lol.
Do you think when OP's fiance was sixteen and attending high school that one day she had a feeling like, "Holy shit, my future husband was just born?"
>>16983061
I know I can never turn back...but I really want this. I want to commit to this. I love everything about her, and I'm not saying we haven't argued and fought plenty, because we have, but in a very long-term sense I feel certain that I want to live with and be committed to this girl for the rest of my life.
I would love to travel with her more and she insists on it as well. To me that is all the excitement. Because I've done that before with the partying and the drinking and clubbing around the world and being with random girls and all that and I really just want to go at it with her at my side. I have no problems leaving that phase because I'm tired of it and want to settle down and eventually start a family.
I love that mindset. I will treat her the best way possible. I will take her out on romantic dates, spend all my spare time and money with her, and fight for our marriage no matter what happens. And for our finances.
>>16983076
That question, the first one here, is the first thing her sister asked me when I met them. Exactly as you said it. Yes. I know she will be older. I know her young looks right now won't last as long as mine. Yes I will love her because I love her for much much more than just the way she looks but for her personality and who she is. She makes me want to be the absolute best person I can be.
I have wanted to settle down early for a few years at least but never felt I found the right girl. I realized a little over a year ago to myself that I had.
>>16983078
This is not a troll thread.
>>16983080
I'm completely serious and I'm listening to you and I appreciate what you're telling me. I'm not taking it lightly.
>>16983090
lol well she certainly seems to think she did. She likes those kind of things
>>16983076
As far as your last question... nothing super long term. Only a few months and 7 months at best, that is true.
>>16983078
He was being very helpful before you scared him away.
Haven't read thread
Has OP ever seen his fiance in real life before
>>16983209
Yes we lived together for a while.
>>16983222
Have you ever seen her vagina?
>>16983226
Yes...we have had plenty of sex.
I'm serious about this marriage. Of course, we're great sexually.
>>16983234
Don't you want children? She's probably infertile by now
>>16983240
She's been checked. We've had her go to the hospital for all this and she's perfectly capable and very healthy. She ages very well. She really does look and act my age in terms of energy.
>>16983240
>37
>infertile
What.
It is impending, though, so maybe get some eggs frozen, and if you don't want a baby potato do ivf with zygote testing.
>>16981492
>south Korea
You are being played. It's all about money and what they can get out of you. Dump her.
t. Dated a Korean girl.
>>16983460
>it's all about money
So she's dating a poor college student on the promise that he'll get a good job? For the money?
I've dated Korean girls before. This is not like that.
op you're so fucked
I hope you get her pregnant asap because once she's 40 you're fucked if you try to have kids
>>16981515
You gettin taken for a ride, beta bucks.
Jesus christ she is twice your age lad. Run
>>16983519
I control literally everything in this relationship and I'm the one inviting her over to the US on a visa to live with me. If I, for some strange reason, decided to kick her out one day, that's it, she'd have nowhere to go and would know nobody here. I'm the one driving this and we both want it. I am not being taken for any kind of ride.
>>16983515
I am not fucked. I literally haven't even done anything yet. I'm excited and happy about this. I realize that 40 is a hard cutoff for children.
>>16983523
Read the thread.
Mentioning her age was clearly a mistake. Next time I should just say "marriage general, give me tips" and leave it at that.
>>16983519
>beta bucks
You mean minimum wage? Those bucks?
>asking 4chan for marriage advice
shiggy
Personally I changed a lot during my 20s, but it may be different for you. It sounds like you've done a lot of living. Best wishes for your future.
>>16983532
You're marrying a mail order bride who is twice your age with dried up ovaries. That's like asking how to decorate your living room, and then getting mad when we point out the whole fucking house is burning down.
>>16983548
False, false, and false
>>16983545
Well thank you
>>16981478
It's the same as when I see an older guy and younger girl. The older one is taking advantage from the younger one. This relationship can only be toxic. And in 7 years shell go through menopause, whereas you'll be at the prime of your life.
Where has your family been up to now, why didn't they intervene?
>>16983536
Hey, I havent been scared off, same guy as earlier!
Alpha fucks, beta bucks, is something refered to in Red pill communities. Read up on it! start with Therationalmale.com
I notice you still haven't answered my KEY question. Did you, by yourself, want to have kids this young.
You also said you only have had 1 LTR of 7 months, how long has this 1 with the korean woman been?
The reason i am worried is because marriage is a huge committment OP. Sure dating etc is one thing, but marriage, you will be 1 entity for the Law.
What about financials. Will she be able to get a job, support herself? If you guys divorce, say 6 years down the line, you will have to pay her all kinds of annoying things like alimony, child support etc etc.
I understand you want to be together with Her, and Marriage is the only way to get her to come to you in the US. But marriage is not some, oh we can live together now, yeah boyfriend and girlfriend, 2 months dating thing. Its a real Legal committment with legal implications for the rest of your life.
Hell, if you would have asked me about my first 2year relationship, we were always talking about kids. My second girlfriend whom i met in college i was really into, but 3 years already SO MUCH CHANGED. this is LIFE dude, and you barely started living what, 3 years ago?
Like think of it this way, imagine yourself at 12, you loved watching pokemon, DBZ, playing soccer etc. Now at 21, you are a completely different person. Studying Math. The same could happen from 21-31. But marriage will have you stuck in pokemon world, when you want out! something that seemed awesome at 12, but not at 21. You feel me, i get it feels good now, but you have NO IDEA. especially since your longest LTR was 7 months.
Could you not go to South korea and stay there for a while, if being with her physically is the main thing? Instead of getting Married here, it just seems, such a HUGE step.
>>16983566
She'll go through menapause at 44?
She really does seem my age or younger though. But I realize those looks won't last forever.
My family was very skeptical at first but they have come around and approve of her. They have all met her and my parents are hosting the two of us for about 2 months this summer to get to know her and for her to adapt comfortably to the family as well as taking us on a week trip vacation to Cabo, Mexico.
Everything is fine with my family.
She's not taking advantage of me. I wanted all of this. It was all my idea and I am the one who has run and decided to do this whole thing. I love her, including her age, really. I love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In4yWxRQ5-E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYslCEH_l4k
Here are 2 links, with very honest woman; anonymously speaking about their relationships and Marriage.
My college girlfriend, turned out to be quite the User, im trying to save you from being screwed for life dude.
Really, 7 months LTR tops; you have no idea what woman are capable of and how they think, and i think you should really rethink this. It sounds nice now, but trust me 10 years down the line you will wish you never done it, if you go through with it. I'm sure of it. You have so much value and treasure, and choosing this woman now over some emotions you're feeling could very easily be the worst possible decision, EVER. Like worse than flunking out of uni 3x over.
Do as you wish, or i hope this is a troll thread, but the gravity is just to much. Atleast talk to a counselor, start reading up on the mano-sphere, The game, The red pill, Mgtow, etc.
I'm trying to save you from a world of hurt. Start with these 2 podcasts, and also, listen to the other advice of the guy who dated a korean man. Don't get cucked. This will be my last post. Good luck either way.
>>16983579
I kind of know about redpill communities. I used to buy into that when I went out clubbing more.
This one with this Korean woman has been for almost 2 years, which I realize is not long at all. It moved very, very quickly. I don't know why, I just knew this was the one I wanted to spend my life with.
I want to be one family with her, one entity under the law as you said. It is important and I don't take it lightly at all.
Financially, getting a job for her will be difficult at least at first as an immigrant to the United States, but she is going to look for one. At least until we start a family. I am currently about to finish an ivy league degree and pass my actuarial tests which will set me up to become an actuary, BUT I am willing to take on any job it takes in the meantime, anything, to keep us going. I am going to work very hard to earn us money and will continue applying for jobs. My parents are very supporting in paying all my tuition and our rent and my food, while I have been paying for her insurance and for other expenses. I currently have 2 part time jobs now by the way in addition to my studies and actuarial training.
I understand in the event of a divorce I would have to pay money, yes. I know that there is some of what you said, that feeling of "marriage is the only way we can legally be together," but I do also understand the seriousness. This is a decision that will be with me for the rest of my life. I am reconsidering it every day. I am taking it very seriously.
In theory, I suppose I could wait until January 2017 and then go to South Korea, assuming I could somehow find work there which might be more difficult and I'd probably make much, much less, and then I might still have to marry if I want to stay there permanently with her. And the reason for her coming to the US, because of course her family has asked me all these questions as well, is that we feel I could make more money in the US and therefore it would be far
>>16983579
>>16983609
better to raise a family in the US, for these financial reasons.
I always wanted to settle down early. Having kids this early was not entirely part of my original plan, and I admit that, but settling down early and having kids in my early to mid 20s was. It's something I have wanted to do and wanted to find the right person to do it with.
Your "12 vs. 21" analogy hit me very hard though. I will think more about it..
>>16983609
Yeah dude. Wait till January 2017.
You study maths right, you might understand some Finance. Think of it in terms of risk/reward.
If she comes here and marries here, reward is 1 year now, risk is hell and pain for the rest of your life.
Reversly, if it is True love, as you claim.
Risk is 1 year of not being together, simply holidays and Long distance, and the Reward is, you go to south Korea, have a degree, and have the space and time to develop on your own pace, enjoying her physically, and then you can still start a family have children and get married, but atleast be more sure. Really dude.
And you still haven't answered the key question;
Did you want a baby young? Before meeting her?
>>16983607
>start reading up on the mano-sphere, The game, The red pill, Mgtow, etc.
Ok. I will honestly listen to these. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it and I will think about what you've said and listen to them.
>>16983626
Yes I wanted one young. Not right now or right away, but young.
>>16983615
The 12-21 analogy is the WHOLE point.
I was like you, when i was 21 with this girl, I gave up so much for her, really. I basically fucked a really worthwhile degree because of shallow emotions, i thought would last a life-time.
Already 1 year down the line, i realize how insanly stupid i was. Now i'm hell bent on going back to uni and crushing it, and luckily i came from a well off family so in the end it was a great learning curve.
But i truly believe, you are not aware of the VALUE YOU HOLD. Math from an Ivy league school, dude you have the world at your feet.
And marrying this girl is equivalent to saying im going to love watching DBZ and POKEMON for the rest of my life. I'm not doubting you love spending time with her now, i'm doubting your ability to foresee your own changing needs, desires and growth well into the future. The growth She has already had. She is thinking she hit the jackpot m8, trust me.
And if its true love, what would it hurt, to wait it out till jan 2017 and go over there, you can always come back later if its true. Start with listening to those 2 podcasts and please don't throw your life away before you know the actual worth of it, for some random, possibly sexy Korean! Good luck dude, don't TAKE YOURSELF SO LIGHTLY!!
