>>16981364

You'll find it's easier to talk to women on tinder when you're horny. It helps me lead the conversation on. It's probably stressful for you since you expect to get laid. Try expecting nothing from your matches, take it as neverending practice and make as little presumptions as you can. Remember, women can smell your desperation. Don't lie to them either, they'll know it. If you're getting hot and heavy with messaging and they start spewin relationship shit, say you're only interested in seeing her naked and you won't entertain the possibility of a relationship just to see her naked. Good luck.

>>16981379
Thanks. It's not even that I expect to get laid although that's the point I guess. I feel like there probably are all these unwritten rules on what I'm supposed to get out of this chat and when exactly it is actually okay to ask someone to even meet up. Maybe these rules don't exist at all, but that's really what drives me insane about dating in general.

But yeah maybe I should really stop expecting anything and just move on if the conversation dries up.

>>16981402

Don't be afraid to experiment. You'll never get to know these nonexistent rules (for me, I rely on my gut, it's pretty trustworthy) unless you try. There are no rules, only ones you make. Don't be afraid of joking around, women aren't as sensitive as you might think, but don't call them fat or w/e (know the difference between teasing playfully and being rude). I've asked girls out the first thing I say to them, it has worked, but not too often, but I'm not from murrica so that might be the case. Just ask them out whenever you feel like it, but the sooner, the better, otherwise you might end up in the dead zone. Strike the iron while it's hot, yknow? If you don't give too much of a fuck about the outcome, you'll be bolder and less anxious and chix dig it.

not op but was searching for adv on this, also are there any other dating sites? i mean i think that okcupid and tinder are ok but i dont have any luck with this.

>>16981364
Idk, I go on there just to screw with people and have omegle-type conversations. Girls not into that.

If you don't make a move, they'll stop talking (but won't unmatch you)

>>16981379
>Try expecting nothing from your matches

Use this mentality with all women and you will live a happy life.

>>16981364

i dont recommend tinder for the following reason:

anyone who has been there (particularly women) for too long is not REALLY looking for a match.

Tinder and other dating apps turn you toxic. you turn it on with the idea that 'i want a boyfriend'. then you are presented literally every single single guy who wants a girlfriend. you get to pick and choose. and if you do that and somehow don't have a boyfriend within a 3 month period, then clearly you are the issue. you either have weird standards, or you are obsessing over an abstract idea of what a boyfriend is and therefore even the guys who meet your standards dont seem to fall in. when you can fit your entire dating life into a phone, choosing between dozens of guys a day, you become numb to the actual experience.

guys experience this to some degree as well, but because they dont have as many options (being the courters) less so.

its kind of like someone who watches nothing but scary movies. he could see the scariest movie in the world and say 'thats not scary' becuase hes so desensitized to it. its like watching avatar and saying 'looks fake' cuz ur so used to visual effects that you can no longer appreciate the fact that they are good.

thats what using tinder does to people, on both ends, but more so to women. so hitting on the women there is a bad idea. they SAY they are looking for a relationship, but if they've been there so long and havent found a boyfriend, whats going to make you so special?

my advice. try it for a few months. if you get no bites, then get off of it.

>>16981560

if you absolutely insist on using tinder, my first bit of advice would be to post a picture of yourself here. if you cant do that we cant really help you cuz we cant tell you what to improve, or even just what approach. some men can only get laid by acting like a douche. some could never get laid by acting like a douche.

the point is that not all men are created the same, and they need different approaches to getting girls.

>>16981560
>>16981563

now you might be asking

>but anon, if i dont use tinder, how will i meet grills?

my recommendation is to stop trying to meet girls specifically. think of it this way

>relationships (Genuine ones) form because you meet someone that you think is special, and in turn they make you feel special. obviously you finding them special makes them feel special.

but if you hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your girlfriend, you are broadcasting the message that no girl is special, and that you just need the first one to say 'sure ill be your gf'. why would anyone let alone a female wnat to be that to someone? we all want to feel special. so only pursue someone if they are special. there is no point in dating for the sake of dating.

focus instead on doing things you love in a social atmosphere
>BUT ANON IM A TOTAL LOSER WHO ONLY ENJOYS THINGS I CAN DO ALONE

no matter how introverted a hobby might be, there are people out there who at the very least wish to discuss it. if you like reading books, go to a book store and hang out in your favorite aisle. talk to everyone who comes in. men, women, old people, young people. talk to them all. ask them what book they are looking for. mention the book you are looking for (kind of a lie but whatever) strike up a conversation on any common interests, share recommendations. if they are really into it, exchange numbers.

this works at movie stores, gun shops, game shops, art galleries, etc.

name your hobby and we will find a way to reverse engineer it. most of these shops even host events, because sales alone arent enough to support them. most nerd based shops will hold game nights, screenings, etc. where you can hango ut with other nerds. gun shops will have events. if a shop doesnt have an event, offer to help host one. it only means more money for them after all.

>>16981581

if all else fails, go to meetup.com and look up interests of yours and attend the groups. i found obscure interest groups even for an anon in israel so you have no excuse. worst case scenario, you create your own meetup group and everyone can go to that.

>BUT ANON WONT IT BE MOSTLY DUDES

yes, mostly. but mostly is not entirely, and even if all dudes showed up you'd be having fun doing and discussing things you love with people who also love it. not a bad way to spend a saturday.

>>16981560
Well if you weren't a social retard you'd know that all women are like that.

It's not just on dating apps.

>>16981585

and finally

>but what do i do when i finally see a woman

dont go out of your way to hit on her. they get hit on all day, which is why i mentioned that they dont feel special when you approach each and every possible girl as a potential gf.

that puts the gender on a pedastal, but not the woman. what would you rather have OP, a girl who you truly believe to be awesome cuz she impressed you, or a girl you only think is awesome cuz shes the first girl to stick around with you?

looks alone arent enough. let a girl PROVE she is worth hitting on. its okay to talk to her. but keep it casual. see if shes the kind of person you'd get along with before you make anything move like.

>>16981588

>all women are like that
>which is why literally every girl is single and no one has dated in over a decade

good one.

Rules on Tinder:
1) Be hawt guy
2) Don't be no hawt guy

>>16981602
>all women are like that
No, but most girls are like that
Being able to choose from many mates gives power and power corrupts, The internet has given women even more (if not all) power in the dating scene
There is another aspect of the whole thing that many girls even if single arent really looking for a relationship or a hook-up but rather confirmation
I dont have a solution to the dating problem (except drastic ones such as reducing the amount of men to improve balance) and i really wish from the bottom of my heart that the world was diffrent

>>16981634

>being able to choose from many mates gives power and power corrupts

i agree, which is kinda my point when saying not to use tinder. that being said, it clearly hasnt corrupted absolutely as plenty of women are in fact dating and in serious relationships.

there is no 'serious' issue here. you can also take that 'power' back in multiple ways, but the truth is that most of the guys who post posts like yours dont even bother to do things like work out.

>>16981364
You don't need to have a whole conversation. 5-10 messages back and forth and you ask for a date.

Otherwise wimminz get bored

>>16981650
Working out has already become Zero-Sum. There IS no way to take the power back in the dating situation unless you are Ryan Gosling or your local equivalent. You are at the mercy of a woman's whims and desires.

Honestly better just to give up.

>>16981650
Sorry, im not OP
How do you take that power back friend? i have been looking for ways for years now but im still stuck here powerless
Many women whom are dating and in relationships are just that, taken
Therein lies the problem, the supply of women isnt enough to settle the demand

>>16981665

maybe YOU are, so feel free to give up, but i am by far not even remotely close to ryan gosling and date just fine. you need to go outside.


>>16981666

first and foremost, dont give her power. the fact that you refer to them like they are appliances that arent being produced fast enough actually gives them power (while ironically being demeaning as well).

the biggest way to take away power is to not hit on someone simply because they are an (attractive) girl. let them prove they are worth your attention before you go into seduction mode. that isnt ot say they need to woo you the way men tend to woo them. but sitting down and figuring out if someone is a good match for you before making a move shows them that you arent just another guy trying to nail down any girl that is willing.

it gives you a chance to like them for something special.

this wont make you a chad by any means. but the world isnt divided between beta's and chads. there are a million steps inbetween that most young men live at very comfortably.

>>16981708
>it gives you a chance to like them for something special.
Im not giving her power, she has power intrinsically
When i meet this girl she has already been hit on by hundreds of other guys so even if i figure out that she IS one im willing to get serious with when i try ill just end up being one amidst thousands
Lets just say hypothetically i meet this girl, Sarah at my local gym. I work out 5 days a week and she works out one so we meet once a week.
One day i start talking to her, she seems nice and it turns out she is working out along side her other interest which is a martial art. Same as me!
We like the same type of super-hero movie and we love Game of Thrones
I decide to ask her out and see if she wants to meet for a coffe some day
Here is the problem, to me she is special since she shares my interests and things i like but to her...im just another guy hitting on her...again
This is where the power in the dating scene comes from, women have many options whereas most guys have close to none
Finding a girl you really, really like is heartbreaking honestly. I had a girl whom i really liked and ending up rejected by her was crushing
The heart of the problem lies in the way the dating scene is structured, Ever heard of Nash Equilibrium?

>>16981665
If you work out enough, women will fuck you just because of your body. How the fuck is that Zero-Sum?

>>16981751
Please define the definition of "enough"
Ive been working out for years and this still hasnt happened to me

>>16981732

>im just another guy hitting on her.

the majority of men doing the hitting on go straight for the kill. they make their intents clear from the get go. dont make your intent to win her, and you arent just another random guy. you are someone who sees something in her. perhaps wait and see if she sees something in you.

i think your biggest issue is this fixation you have with dating as a whole. you are letting yourself get upset over a rejection, you are describing simply being turned down as 'crushing'.

outside of this i dont know what im doing that you are not. i wish i did so i could help. im not a chad by any means. but i date around just fine.

>>16981761

post a pic of yourself lets see whats up

>>16981781
>>16981761
>>16981751
>>16981665
>they think women like men who work out

yall are confused about women. Here's the deal: being physically attractive is one of many attributes that you can have that will have a positive impact on a woman's impression of you. It is not the only attribute, it is often not even a very important attribute, and there are other attributes that you may be missing which will prevent a woman from fucking you 'for your body'. Usually this would be personality, lack of social status, or screwing up on some particular trigger they have.

I would advise improving your emotional intelligence to start with, which will give you the tools to understand women and figure out what any particular woman likes and be able to interact with her successfully.

>>16981794

>being physically attract is one of many attributes that you can have that will have a positive impact on a womans impression of you
>it is not the only attribute

we never claimed it was, and you implying we did just makes you sound like a retard. you are not wise.

the reason people suggest working out is because its an immediately noticeable attribute that people notice.

>>16981773
>you are describing simply being turned down as 'crushing'.
I dont linger over rejection but its a simple equation really, the more you lose the harder the loss is and i was mearly pointing that out
Having your favorite person in a TV show die is a loss but losing your mother is harder, yes?
The girl whom i was so crushed about losing was litterally the perfect girl and i had just come out of a long term relationship which ended...badly so naturally it was a harsh blow

That was a year ago and i havent found a single girl of interest since.
I dont have any hope of finding a date or gf ever since well, lets just say the pool is dry and ive gotten cold but it does make it easier to observe the dating market and how its distributed

>>16981814

again, you are investing way too much energy into someone you havent had any real romantic experiences with. it shouldnt be crushing because you shouldnt be at the point where its crushing.

if no girls interest you, then you shouldnt be interested in finding girls. thats like saying you hate candy but keep whining about how you can't have a snickers bar because of it.

>>16981781
No, i never post pics of myself and especially not on this site
Ive been on the internet long enough to know its gimmics, critics are never satisfied

>>16981832
Said every ugly person ever.

>>16981829
I did have a romantic connection with her, we went on several dates and i thought it was going good
I think you misunderstand, i like the idea of having a gf, dating and finding love but i havent found a girl of interest and by that i mean no girl stands out as potential
Most are taken and those who are not arent interested in me so i wont give chase

>>16981837
Say what you want, youre just trolling at this point

>>16981832

you apparently dont know this site well at all. people post their pics here for critiques all the time we suggest hairstyles fashions etc.

literally right now in another thread:
>>16981803


just the other day we had a big one and OP was surprised how nice we all were.

were here to see whats up and fix it. sometimes there is rudness looped in sure, but if you cant handle the criticisms of an anonymous bulgarian hamburger recipe trading pictograph forum, then its no wonder you dont have luck with ladies.

>>16981842

the idea of having a gf is entirely different than having a gf.

its like saying you want a father. there are a billion different types and instances and scenarios and none are the same.

stop framing your mind that way and you'll stop having these issues id hope.

to be honest you sound like you are wallowing in your own sorrow and enjoy that to a degree. by all means.

but virtually none of what you said has applied to me and im a 5'6" skinny boy in the city. either im somehow immune to your world, or im secretly a chad with extreme body dysmoprhia.

>>16981868
I do know this site well, spent many a year on it now and ive seen people torn asunder for no aparent reason. I know im fit enough since i get comments on it and reactions from people and i was mearly making a point.
Being fit doesnt mean you get laid, the "girl who sleeps with a guy because he is juicy" doesnt exist
>>16981871
Ive spent 12 years in a relationship consecutively so i know what its like to have a gf, its been hard and came with much sacrifice but it was a price i was willing to pay
Im confident in most social situations and i have no problem talking to people since my work depends on it but im at a loss when it comes to girls and i dont know why
Some days are better and some days are worse, as you would expect but being alone for a year despite your best efforts not to be does hurt you know?

>>16981919
>Ive spent 12 years in a relationship consecutively so i know what its like to have a gf

No, you know what it's like to be a cuck.

>>16981919

you dont know what its like to have a gf.

you know what its like to have had her. she is not a gf. she is her.

>>16981924
What does this mean, exactly?