I don't even know, I'm just so incredibly unhappy and have been for most of my life. Even if I have good days here and there I can't even remember what it was like to not think about suicide at least weekly. For once an adv thread that's not about females.
I just turned 24, I have an associate's degree from a community college. It's worthless. My adult life has just been bouncing around from city to city every year or so, I get fed up with my situation and take a bus out of town to start from scratch for the ump-teenth time. I go from one shitty labor job and scummy roachy apartment to the same thing in a different city.
Needless to say I have no friends, no nothing. I don't even really have interests other than music which I barely take the time to actually listen to and read along with the words anymore, when I'm not working I'm just pissing away my youth in front of the computer.
And I'm just tired of it. I hate being so sad and feeling worthless. I barely scrape by so therapy isn't an option. I don't care about sex although I'm obviously not getting any, I just want to not feel miserable 24/7 and tha twill come later.
I have no idea what I want to do with myself, where I want to be in the future. Sometimes I think about finishing school or going to a trade school but I don't even knnow what I would like or what my options even are.
I know this is my own fault, that it's essentially my laziness and lack of initiative that's led to a meaningless existence of boring days on a loop. But I don't really know what to do or where to go.
I just want some peace and quiet. Like NIN, "it won't give up it wants me dead, goddamn this noise inside my head".
>>16980456
same place anon, except im 25 and just starting college...
I'm just going to keep moving. that's really all u can do it seems.
I guess I have an idea of what I want, but I made zero progress in the past 2 wasted years because I spent all my time wanting to die. Literally the only reason I'm still alive is because I was scared if I killed myself I'd go to hell
Save up some money and go backpacking cross country. Maybe get a van to sleep in and to move around. Itll be hella fun dude, just you, the road and a world unknown.
Interested
How did you just get on a bus and start from scratch multiple times
Honest question, i want to know how to do this
Get a tree-planting job and go spend four months in the woods with a bunch of other people doing the same thing. It'll be fairly quiet, it'll be like picking up and starting over, and there'll be people around to talk to and get to know while doing something completely different. Not to mention you'll brutally cut yourself off from internet and regular routines that you aren't happy with. Maybe you'll find something or some connection that changes your perspective. Depression just perpetuates itself and gets worse the longer you wait to make some kind of change.
I think you should join a club, or something. Find a social activity that you enjoy, like dancing or a sport.
Honestly, if you really want a major change, enlist in the Armed Forces. Give your life order and a clear, tangible meaning, something to get out of bed for every day.
Better yet, learn a valuable skill in the military. Join on a contract as an engineer, carpenter, radio operator, vehicle mechanic, or construction worker, just to name a few. Learn something you can put to good use when you're out.
Just my two cents, but I think its worth a look.
>>16980456
Holy Crap OP does your name start with a B?
From what you described, we are the same person, down to our age. My degree is in Biology/science yours?
I'll be monitoring this thread for my own purposes.
OP, I was considering this >>16982791 The discipline would also help myself and probably you too.
