Last year I was really devastated when this girl I was crazy about dumped me. It took almost all year to fully get over it, and honestly I still think of her quiet often.
But I decided to take steps to get back out and date again.
This led to my first date since the breakup. However, I'm not sure what or how to feel.
I like the girl. I had fun on our date. We have set up at least one more date and have another lined up for the following week.
However we have conflicting work schedules so we only get to see each other on the weekends. On top of that, we dont get to text or communicate much due to the schedules. One of us is typically asleep while the other is at work.
Part of me thinks this is great because it lets ease into dating again without the possibility of a serious commitment. But part of me wants to fall for this girl and it's not happening.
How many dates should it take before I realize where this is going?
Or can it go anywhere with this schedule?
Or has my ex fucked me up so bad that I can't love again?
I know it's only been one date, but still these are things I worry about.
I'm in a similar situation. However I've never been in a relationship. I've just recently started seeing this girl and have been using /adv/ a lot lately for this exact type of thing. From what I've learnt is that you have little to no control over this type of situation. You must simply let the ebb and flow of life take you wherever. I'd give you more specific advice but my experience dating is less than minimal. But you can't look at your current situation as if this is how it's going to be forever. For instance; she gets another job, or you get another job, your schedules change, someone starts going to school. Keep at it basally, if you think she's worth a shot. And to know where it's going, you should probably tell her where you want to be. That way she has an idea of where to go with you. That's how you find out where the relationship is going. But you can't just throw it on her like "do you want to be in a relationship?". Like I said patience and consistency is probably the best policy here. Sorry, I'm being pretty vague, but I don't know what to tell you. Good luck anon. Best of luck.
>>16979137
Thank you, I appreciate it.
Thats kinda what Im doing now.
Like I said, we have been on one date and have already planned for another so she must be interested. I am interested.
But on the flip side, me and my ex was so much more exciting at first. But we had been flirting and building up a intimate friendship before we went out. And it exploded into this burning passion.
This girl is a girl I had talked to just a few times before asking out. There is no fire, and that makes me nervous.
I dont wanna waste over 3 months on something that might not be...especially when I dont know where its going
>>16979158
Dip your feet in before you commit. The beauty of your situation is that you're not committed yet, nor do you have to be exclusive. Date around if you're unsure. And once you find the one you think you're going to go the distance with, drop the others. That might sound unorthodox, or messy, but it's not like you're cheating on anyone yet or are you exclusive with anyone yet. I image you're young, use your youth to explore whats out there.
>>16979195
yah thats what scares me about that. i hate drama and hate to have to break it off with a girl if im no longer interested.
>>16978901
You don't want to see her often anyway. It will keep you more interesting to her and lower your chances of being fucked over by her when she decides to do the exact same thing that your ex did.
>>16979958
i've thought about that too.
>>16978901
Why make mistakes like that again? Dude it only took 2 serious relationships to see that its never worth it and in the last one 2 children I wont see for a while and I mean a WHILE and tons of my shit missing
Stop while your ahead and enjoy being single.
Shit dude you just got back to normal and you wanna fuck it up again?
>>16980588
Well, Im not much on playing the field or "whoring around". Its nice, but I'm so much more at ease when I see just one girl.
I like stability.
And being single does have its advantages but a lot of times I feel lonely.
Plus it would do wonders for me to get back out there after the way I was done last year.
I dont want to socially die from that bad experience.
I want to prove to myself (and somewhat my ex) that I can do just fine and meet someone else.
I know its ridiculous.
What do you think i should do?
>>16980596
I can't tell you what to do, but why does a sexual relationship with a woman matter that much? I don't whore around I masturbate when I have too I guess, but honestly I am just starting to find stability now after almost 6 months.
What stability is there in a relationship if it is anchored upon another person who honestly more than likely does not have your best interests in mind?
You have friends don't you? I mean a simple friend is so much easier than having to maintain a relationship.
Really think about this dude as I said right now you are healed, next time around you may find a girl and stay together for 5 years or whatever, but if she leaves what happens to that stability? It goes away.
Enjoy being single, its not like your really "alone"
Also>>16980596
>>16980603 again
Think on how you felt for that year. Why not learn from your mistakes and try avoiding that pain? It sounded shitty, so just remember.
It's like touching a hot stove as a child man.
>>16980606
so never have another relationship again?
or enjoy the low stress this one brings?
