do I have a schizoid personality disorder?
I feel related to a lot of the symptoms and I read about a guy here that had it and I relate to him
ive been diagnosed with ADD, depression and social anxiety
I cant feel anything other than very mild sadness and anxiousness (the social part of it is almost gone, I still get nervous but im able to make friends and met people)
everything disappoints me, I always get my hopes up for something to potentially make me happy and it always fails (drugs, love, sex, friends, moving to a big city (the city I grew up in. the moment I moved I felt amazingly nostalgic and sad that I left and nothing made me happier than returning for the holidays)
I have 0 motivation, other than hope that time after time gets me even more dissapointed
I lost the ability to feel nostalgia at some point in my teenage years
things I used to care a lot about now I dont
im not suicidal because I never lost hope in something to make me happy but the more dissapointed I get, the more I think about it
im running out of options
im not sad and I never was, im bored
when my grandfather died I wasnt able to grieve him
things I used to be really turned on by now dont affect me at all
there are very few points in my life when I felt strong emotions and they always made me feel alive
one being when my dog was about to die, for some reason I still care for him
I dont have any real hobbies or things that I can do effortlessly
I feel like im going through the motions all the time
im not able to think of a thing that could make me happy other than drugs
I dont have any existencial problems and nothing scares me
I care for people but I dont fucking know why, there is not a person in my life that I wouldnt get over if they died in less than a week (except family maybe? I honestly dont know)
>>16975635
Me as fuck. I think about personality disorders sometimes, and I feel like me(and you) either have major depressive, avoidant, or schizoid personality.
Whenever I try to reach out to people (whether it be to a girl/co-worker/whatever) and get a negative result I get a ton of negative feelings. What most people wouldn't hold a grudge over, I do.
I also never cried at my grandfather's funeral and I have trouble expressing emotions. It's almost like I live to just respond to people
>>16975673
I dont get that, I used to get really reaaally affected by social discomforts and stayed at home a lot because of that but after my medication I kinda just dont care anymore in that aspect
life is boring as shit
>>16975693
That's currently what I'm doing (staying at home because I've become awkward as shit). The social discomfort thing is actually avoidant personality disorder. You'll just have to make an effort to find enjoyment in socializing again...advice I need to heed myself
>>16975704
have you gone to a psychiatrist?
it might make a huge difference
>>16975714
Well I'm seeing a counselor...who's basically the assistant of the resident psychiatrist. She's gonna do CBT on me tomorrow and idk what to expect. As far as meds...I've been taking Prozac for some time and I'm not seeing much of a difference. My mind still feels blank with a hint of anxiety and anger
>>16975724
Can you imagine yourself being happy at some point in your future?
Ive been let down so many times that im starting to feel like im never going to be happy
Ive been fantasizing with killing myself a lot recently, never gonna do it tho but its kinda comforting
No.
But you do have the face of a fugly potato.
Woah. What you're feeling kind of hits close to home though I never knew there was a disorder for that. I always thought being desensitized was a part of adulthood or a part of being depressed. Though you should seek professional help, OP.
>>16975635
>>16975659
It really sounds like it, OP. It's good that you're seeing a professional, they'll likely be able to help at least a little. Unfortunately, there's no easy advice or medication for schizoid, so it'll be a long and slow process. Good luck OP.
>>16976778
Some desensitization is normal. Depersonalization/derealization are not.
>>16975704
>You'll just have to make an effort to find enjoyment in socializing again
That's one of the things schizoids need therapy for. When people don't actually enjoy socializing (and usually somewhat dislike it because it's discomfort without tangible benefit for them), it's very hard for them to convince themselves to engage over the long term, and when they do they tend to do it via an artificial persona, a "mask" over their "true" personality, separated from their inner thoughts and feelings. This then leads to dissociative problems.
If you feel unhappy about your situation then I doubt you're schizoid.
>>16977358
Im unhappy about it but its not a strong emotion
I think everyone wants to be happy and trying to be happy doesnt mean you dont have schizoid personality disorder
what about drugs?
heroin for example is bound to make me feel happy
Im not talking about getting addicted to something, im talking about forcing emotions
wouldnt that help me in some way?
I dont care if it isnt recomendable
I want to try someday and see what it feels like to be objectively happy
what drugs are easy to get?
im thinking of opioids
just to try some day and see what happens
>>16978152
do mdma instead of herion imho, it's safer
>>16978239
I bet I can get some here
im definetely going to cum with that right?
