Here is some unsolicited advice. kill me if you must.
>if you want a 'gf' you are doing life wrong
relationships are unique, each and everyone. people are not appliances. to say 'i want a gf' doesn't make sense because you have no definition of what a GF is, or rather you do and are just looking for someone to fit that standard.
people like each other because they see each other as special, and in turn feel special because of that person. you should only want a 'gf' becuase a very specific person makes you want them in your life. otherwise you are just asking for someone to fill a random series of traits. why would a person want to be that to you? just a random person who happened to say 'yes'.
by wanting a 'gf' you are no different than those 12 year olds on the internet who go from chatroom to chatroom asking each random girl to be their date so that they can tell everyone they arent single. Focus instead on making your life enjoyable by doing the things you want to do. you dont need a romantic partner to share your life with. even if you had one, they wouldn't be interested in doing every thing you wanted to do. so do what you want, and when the right person comes along they will see you being happy and want to be a part of that.
>>16973536
>dont just hit on a woman
its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.
give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.
doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.
>>16973536
Smart advice, I'd say avoid a serious relationship like the plague as a man, but that was pretty balanced and well thought out.
>>16973544
>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.
dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in
so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.
they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.
if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.
you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.
it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.
>>16973536
I want a girlfriend so I can have a socially acceptable version of a whore who I can fuck to my hearts content. I am not interested in a romantic relationship whatsoever.
>>16973536
>asking each random girl to be their date so that they can tell everyone they arent single
No, they want something to stick their dick in.
>>16973558
>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.
so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.
go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.
you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.
>>16973580
>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!
and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.
Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.
>>16973565
>no they want somethign to stick their dick in
how would a 12 year old stick their dick in a girl they never can meet?
>>16973559
thats great, but thats half the reason you cant get one.
>>16973551
im actually very pro-single. i think people should spend more time alone trying to understand what really makes them happy isntead of latching on to others for loneliness.
but making people realize they shouldnt inherently want a 'gf' is a good start.
>>16973594
>Half the reason I can't get one
OK then this is why the stigma against prostitution needs to be erased. I think it's worse leading some poor girl on just so I can fuck her than it is for me to pay a willing female for sexual intercourse.
>>16973729
>OK then this is why the stigma against prostitution needs to be erased
no it doesnt. your personal problems do not dictate any need in societal change.
>i think its worse leading on some poor girl so i can get my rocks off then it is for me to pay a willing female for sexual intercourse
instead of choosing the lesser of two evils, dont be a dick.
if you want to fuck hookers, go ahead, no one has to know
>BUT ANON ITS ILLEGAL
not if you film it.
congrats, you got advice.
>>16973536
To want a girlfriend is perfectly okay. To need a girlfriend is not.
>>16973757
>is prefectly okay
nope, again because of all the reasons i listed above.
the only time you should want a girlfriend is when a specific girl makes you wanna be with her.
to want one otherwise is inherently silly.
>>16973750
What problems? I don't want to deal with an emotional relationship but I do want to get laid. I'm quite content otherwise.
>>16973769
>what probloems?
>continues to list his problems
there yo go
>i want to get laid, no emotions
thats fine, there are plenty of women who want that to. seek them out, or get a hooker. but just know that there is no perfect scenario, so dont whine as if there should be.
>>16973768
I hope you know that you said nothing to disprove or contradict what I said.
>>16973778
neither did you.
except for how i listed all the reasons why wanting a 'gf' was bad to begin with. but sure.
>>16973777
>What problems
>Lists no problems
Are you retarded?
>>16973781
There is nothing inherently bad with wanting something. In addition, in the OP you are placing too many of your own immature feelings regarding to want something. We all want things in life, and there is nothing wrong in that, so long as you recognize your own worth and work towards it. I still say that you don't know the difference between wanting and needing, just like too many people on this board.
>>16973790
>pretending it wasn't a problem
uh huh. thats why
>SOCIETY NEEDS TO CHANGE ITS VIEWS SO I CAN GET HOOKERS
>>16973804
I think you're too stupid to comprehend anything I said. It's OK child. Nobody expects much out of you.
>>16973793
>there is nothing inherently bad with wanting something
there is when it is abstract and you spend your days whining about how you cant find it. which is exactly what i discussed. if you dont think THAT is a problem, then good luck.
>you are placing too many of your own immature feelings regarding to want something
nope, im making note of how this entire board operates and offering advice to enjoy what you can get in life instead of focusing on finding a person to fit an abstract idea, encouraging a focus on actual chemistry instead of grabbing onto someone as soon as you see them so they cant get away.
>We all want things in life
thats fine. but wanting to go get a toaster and wnating to go get a gf are two entirely different things. you can go buy a toaster, but even if you get a gf, it does not necessarilly fill that hole you had because each relationships is going to be entirely different and unique.
again, a focus on doing things you already know you enjoy and interacting with the people who also enjoy them is a stronger focus.
>you dont know the difference between wanting and needing
i do. id wager you dont understand what people are actually saying when they say 'i want a gf' or how they go about it.
>>16973814
>SOCIETY NEEDS TO CHANGE FOR ME CUZ I NEED HOOKERS
>I DONT EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND CHILD
:^)
>>16973819
>i do. id wager you dont understand what people are actually saying when they say 'i want a gf' or how they go about it.
If you did then you'd have understood what I said and stopped arguing about minuscules. You're probably just a retard trying to justify his own existence.
>>16973839
that or you've been wrong all along and dont realize you're the retard.
>>16973846
But who was phone?
>>16973819
> id wager you dont understand what people are actually saying when they say 'i want a gf' or how they go about it.
And you somehow know how every lonely guy in the world feels/thinks?
Man thats seriously presumptious
Id love to have a gf who understands me and whom i can share intimite moments with, someone to grow along side with and whom i can both support and recieve support from
Does this make me bad according to you?
>>16973861
no. but its a bad idea to go out purposely seeking something like that, cuz relationships are unique. no two are alike. these are all things we yearn for, but to go out with the intent of forcing anyone into that role ends in failure.
and yes, i generalized, sue me.
