I can't help but am very interested in this thread.

I'm in an identical situation, only I've regularly cheated on my partner. I love my partner a lot but just not in a romantic sense. I don't want to lose the connection we have or upset them, but I don't see it going anywhere now (and I'm a terrible person who deserves nothing but heartache because of what I've done).

ok OP, you two lack basic communication skills. it sounds like you are always fighting instead of trying to find a solution to a problem. can you give me an example? what was the last thing you fought over?

>>16972528
You must be a woman

>>16972532
>last week
>getting along again after a few days of being angry/not speaking to each other
>wake up on sunday morning at the same time
>tell her to turn around so we can hug for a while
>after a few minutes she says "ok let me go now, I'm getting up to do things"
>makes me angry cause once again she's being unromantic and it's sunday morning and it's not like she had to get up, and during the week she gets up a lot earlier than me so it's not like we get to do this often
>tell her calmly "don't you want to hug and be with me?"
>she says "yeah but come on I just want to get up now"
>I just sigh
>she gives in and says "ok ok come on we can hug a while" like I'm forcing her against her own will
>turn around and tell her "no, doesn't matter, just get up"
>she gets angry and storms out of the bedroom
>I fall asleep again because this shit completely drains my energy
>wake up later and she's gone out with her friends and doesn't come back until late afternoon, doesn't even bother telling me what she's doing until I message her
>comes home and I can see she's not happy so I just ignore her too
>2 days later we're still barely talking

>>16972554
damn. you two remind me a lot about me and my ex. there seem to be a fuckton of unresolved issues here. can you try to narrow down something more fundamental that went wrong between the two of you? for me and my ex it started when i got pregnant unplanned and had an abortion. we never really talked about it after and it brought so much tension into our relationship. we never where mature enough to have a honest and open talk. i could have told him that i'm sad as fuck. or that i feel left alone with this by him. or that i don't like being touched at the moment. but instead it exploded in everyday situations like you just described.

whats the benefit of lieing to yourself
you dont love her

i dont know what you should do with your relationship but lieing probably wont help

>>16972554
Your passive aggressive behaviour doesn't help the situation at all. Grow up, then try again with girls. Not saying it's all your fault, but seriously man. Turning around when she says OK let's hug a while?? (Whereas this attached shit is childish by itself. If you feel unloved, don't be a child. Don't be defiant)


I've been in your shoes. That's why I think I can call you out on that.

>>16972508
>bad times are outnumbering the good ones
>never wants to do anything with me
>feel unnecessary
>doesn't care about sex anymore
>isn't romantic at all
>Every time we argue or try to talk we don't get anywhere.
>she just stares at me like I'm crazy and gets really upset
>I don't even know what's wrong anymore but just feel bad.
Frankly, it sounds like your relationship is pretty fucked. Think carefully about whether you actually even want to salvage it, since it doesn't sound like you two are soul mates or anything.

>How can I fix this?
First of all, you need to directly tell her that the relationship has deteriorated, and that at this point you two are in a plane pointing directly at the ground: it's going to crash and burn if you keep going on this way. Tell her how you feel, what's bothering you the most, etc, then ask her to do the same. Then (with her) try to come up with ways to fix those problems.

Rehearse your talk beforehand, since it sounds like the communication between you is garbage, and she may try to reject it, ignore you, interrupt it, make excuses, shout you down, etc, and you need to make it clear to her that you can't keep going on like this.

But my gut tells me that the relationship isn't going to last. Sorry.

>>16972528
Tell them everything. Admit it all, the cheating and the fact that you don't love them anymore. Apologize profusely, ask for forgiveness. Make it clear to them that you fucked it up, that you stopped loving them, etc: don't let them beat themselves up thinking that any of it was their fault. And don't let them beg you to stay: if you don't love them, it won't work.
>I don't want to lose the connection we have or upset them
You probably know that isn't very likely at this point.

>>16972653
Pretty much this, OP.

I was just in your shoes and the man above speaks the truth. I ended mine a week ago, but I hope she's happier. I feel like shit, but I need to realise that i'm still young and needy so I need to work on myself.

Yup. I think this relationship has run its course.
I also want to add a giant fucking +1 to the people telling you that you need to grow up, stop being passive-aggressive and learn to communicate better.

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>>16972508

>do you want to be with her

answer that question. if the answer is anything other than 'yes' than its no.