boyfrand is very upset and disappointed with me because long story short, two years ago a male internet friend of mine who lives on the other side of the US and who had been a platonic friend for over 8 years became drunk and asked me for tit pix. told boyfriend about it, he became upset and told me he felt uncomfortable with me talking to him. friend apologized but i tore him a new one for being disrespectful to my new relationship. stopped talking. told boyfriend i was not going to talk to him anymore.
fast forward two years, friend messages me out of the blue and apologizes and yadda yadda. feel afraid to tell boyfriend for fear of overreaction and also because of selfishness and desire to communicate with old friend. boyfriend looks through my phone last night after awesome passionate costume-sex and becomes enraged. he is not talking to me anymore. what do?
Suck it up
>>16971692
That's tough. Occasionally talking to old friends (especially if there is nothing other than a little bit of messaging is okay). I'm a jealous guy, but your bf really seems to have some issues. He's gotta solve these jealousy issues himself. You handled the initial situation well, but I would have been honest with him the second time.
My gf has a guy friend that she's known since 3. I'm completely understanding that they wanna talk occasionally so long as she communicates (I have no reason not to trust her).
>>16971692
Your boyfriend sounds like a jealous, controlling prick. He got upset over nothing in the first place but the fact that he looked through your phone is completely over the line. Does he do that often?
>>16971692
Are you fucking retarded? No really let's step away and evaluate the sitatuation.
Scenario A(it didn't happen)
>you tell bf friend apologized after not talking to you for awhile
>say you feel bad for him and respect the old friendship and if your bf cant handle that and trust you then he should break up
>do your best to make your bf trust you and show that you tell the truth and would not betray him
Instead you picked scenario B
>hid something you knew would upset your partner
>hid it about something you pretended you had done/been doing
>self-prophecized yourself like a faggot "oh wow you'll get upset anyways so it won't matter if i lie. Wow SEE!!! I knew you would get upset!"
People like you are trash tier. OP your bf will now doubt that you ever even stopped talking to him and the first place and will now think you possibly delete messages/lie about other stuff. So grats on ruining the trust in your relationship because you're a dumb cunt. Also just for fun, how would you feel if the role was reversed? If your bf had some thirsty chick who asked for dick picks and he told you he stopped talking to her after that but one day you see his phone has some messages from her?
And finally to answer your question because this is /adv/ there is nothing you can do. You shattered the trust in your relationship. This isn't a video game where you can fix it via magic or good intentions instantly.
>>16971718
You sir deserve a medal
>>16971718
>
you're right. i would have much preferred scenario a. i am generally very good at telling my significant other things even when i know it will upset him. i'm not self-prophesizing, because i do recognize and did previously mention the fact that some of this was due to selfishness. i had planned to tell him, and even communicated with a friend about it literally the day before, but i was afraid.
thanks for the perspective though, i could see how he might start wondering if i'd been talking to my friend the entire time. that's upsetting.
>>16971715
he mentions that he trusts me often but has been known to look through my phone on multiple occasions.
>>16971711
yeah, i know. shitty. hindsight is 20/20.
>>16971692
Wtf you're literally the worst. But your bf is also kinda paranoid but he has good reason to. You could have just communicated the message to him but you hid something that you knew would enrage him? You literally dug your own grave senpai
>>16971771
>I trust you
>digs for secrets
One of these things is not like the other. Also, yeah, if you wanted to maintain your position, you should have told your boyfriend about that guy texting you back immediately.
>Oh god, it's that guy again, honey. He's apologizing to me, here.
>letting OP's bf read the text
Coulda smoothed things over with both of them then. Now you're on damage control instead of prevention.
