This is my first time posting on here, so sorry if I'm doing something wrong.
For the past few years, I've been sad, unhappy, unfulfilled and feeling like something is missing. I'm pretty sure no girls like me and the ones that I actually like or am attracted to never are interested in me. Every sort of involvement with a girl is always online I can't stop falling for girls thousands of miles away even though it brings about the worst of doubts. The first ever "local" involvement ended up being a lie and not what i thought it was, resulting in me deeming it not a relationship.
18-20yr old kissless virgin, I feel like I'm destined to be alone. I'm not too worried about virginity since I'm saving myself :^) but besides that. The girl I like, no loves, lives miles away in another country, I tell myself to not bother with distance but I can't help it. Im really serious on this but things never work out for me and I'm seriously lost. As well as my lack of discipline and motivation in life I feel like everything is spiraling out of control. I'll never have a qt gf or experience the fun of life that others do and the thought of that pains me. Should I give up on long distance? Does it ever work? I have all these doubts, negative and pessimistic thoughts, about it and her even though I trust her, even though it;s basically one sided with maybe a percentage of it being returned. Is it possible to be motivated, because the fun in everything I enjoy is gone and I fear for the future. I overthinking, worry and stress everyday, about girls, life, the future mostly. I basically don't have any "proper" friends, people to hang out with and have fun with. Just friends I've met online (though these people I'm closer to than anyone ive met in person) or acquaintances or people I converse with in uni.
I need some help but I don't want to see a psychiatrist/Councillor and have that on my record. Any advice will be appreciate. Thanks. Sorry for the long post.
shamefully bumping this.
>>16970034
Bumping again. I apologize if this isn't allowed butI really need help on this.
>>16970000
What a waste of quads.
Get professional help. I don't know where all that "muh untarnished record" shit is, but it's illegal for a doctor to divulge any information about a patient to anyone. Not to your parents or to your employer. The only time is when there is some sort of lawful reason, in which it will only be for investigative purposes.
Get help, dumbass. If a doctor ever reveals your shit, you could sue him for hundreds of thousands of dollars and live the perfect little NEET life.
Get. Help.
Long distance can work. The problem is YOU.
>lack of discipline
>lack of motivation in life
>all this doubts about her
>overthinking, worry and stress every day
>no proper friends
What girl would want to be with someone carrying so much fucking baggage? Not only does she have to deal with a LDR which is already difficult for all but the most well established relationships, she has to deal with a depressed, insecure guy who even doubts her loyalty? Forget about it. You'd be burdening her.
GET HELP, DUMBASS.
You sound a lot like me. It sucks man, I struggle a lot sometimes. I'm just trying to find other things to focus my mind on. I've really gotten into politics and the current election in the US because it's something that occupies my mind. But I don't know what else to do
>>16970000
>so sorry if
Man up and don't be sorry until you have a reson to.
>past few years, I've been sad
Well, that isn't depression like 60% post here, so you are still doing better than most :-D
>girl interest is in the long distance
You either want somebody to talk to or you want something more. If you want more than talk find somebody who is close to you. Simple as that.
>virgin
Nobody cares about that, only pathetic you. Man up.
>in another country
>not bother with distance
>things never work out
That is because distance relationships never works. We are animals who needs more than letters on screen to have these emotions...
> Should I give up on long distance?
Yes.
> I fear for the future.
That means you are getting close to being an independent adult man :-D
> I overthinking, worry and stress everyday, about girls, life, the future
Seriously you need to stop thinking so much and start looking for LOCAL girls.
>don't have any "proper" friends
So make some if you want to. School, work, public events, friends are overrated anyway :-D
> I don't want to see a psychiatrist/Councillor.
Then don't go see him dummy. He would just slap you to make you feel more awake :-)
>Sorry for the long post.
Man up and don't be sorry until you have a reson to.
>>16970093
Not OP
But depending on your potentional career path. Seeing a therapist could prevent you from getting jobs. For a while I was looking into Law Enforcement jobs. And I was told if I go see a doctor, that would be extremely negative on a background because it would seem as if I'm a liability even if I'm not. So in some instances, it's not possible to see medical
>>16970101
You also need to get help, famiglia.
This shit doesn't just go away on your own. You need to see a professional to get to the heart of what is truly ailing you. Because all this shit like stress, worry and lack of motivations are just the symptoms of something underneath the surface.
>>16970093
You're right. I know the problem is me but every attempt to make things right and change somehow ends up with the opposite results.
I have dreams, aspirations, I love making others happy and helping others who are in my situation, or worse but when it comes to me. Things just go bad, if they go good then it's only temporary. I don't want to burden her and yes I am infuckingsecure and I want to change that.
Thank you for the harsh truth.
>>16970101
It sucks, I can't focus on much these days because the discipline can't muster up. Recently, Im just trying to get back into piano and see where that goes. IT's a long ride but hopefully It'll change. Good luck to both of us.
>>16970104
>Nobody cares about that, only pathetic you. Man up.
Not bothered about being a virgin as i said. Though I probably shouldn't have mentioned it.
>That is because distance relationships never works. We are animals who needs more than letters on screen to have these emotions...
:(
>So make some if you want to. School, work, public events, friends are overrated anyway :-D
Every "friendship" I make in person typically disolves, I go out of my way to message people, but typically it doesn't last long. Even though I'm down to socialize and talk with people whenever.
>>16970106
Also this. A family member of mine is a professional in the medical field and said basically this, that's why I don't want to see one.
>>16970109
I've thought about it. But I really don't feel comfortable seeing one. When I was a kid my mom made me talk to a therapist, and I didn't get anything out of it, I didn't feel comfortable. I can't even talk to my close friends about everything on my mind, and I trust them a ton. So there is no way I'd be able to open up to some stranger.
>>16970106
>>16970120
I don't know who told you that, but it's complete horseshit, and this is from personal experience.
When you take the police exam, yes, they will be able to inquire about your medical past. They will do a THOROUGH review and investigation. They aren't going to dismiss you unless they have good reason to, so fuck off with this "because it would seem as if I'm a liability even if I'm not." If they find something, they will question you about it. You need to be honest about it, and tell them what happened and what the results were. If you were able to find a solution to deal with your issue through therapy, then there won't be a problem. You'll take the psychological test of the police exam and pass.
You're insane if you think that every single police officer joins a force completely and 100% emotionally stable. What you're saying implies that anyone who shows any sort of psychological disruption while on the job will be immediately fired, as they would seem like a liability from that point forward.
What they care about the most is honesty. Once you are caught lying, you can never be put on a witness stand or give testimony without that one lying incident looming over your head. If you are caught lying even once during the examination process, that's usually instant disqualification.
Also:
>emotionally damaged to the point of considering needing therapy
>wanting to be a police officer, an extremely high-stress career where people's lives are in your hands
>better not get therapy then
>>16970129
It's rare that kids actually get anything from therapy is because they are too young to understand how therapy works, are too intimidated to talk with a stranger and often never truly express what's wrong with them.
It's just like getting your physical. If you never tell the doctor you feel anything wrong, he's just going to give you a few quick tests for the most obvious issues let you go with a clean bill of health.
>>16970160
OP Here. Forgot to mention, I'm in the UK. I'm guessing most people on here are US anons so It may be different.
>>16970169
Right, I'm from the US.
Good luck on your endeavors. It's a tough road, but there's always hope if you choose to reach out for it.
>>16970177
Thanks anon. I appreciate the cold hard truth. Hurts to realize it but I have to understand it. I'll definitely reach out for it. Just have to keep trying my best and time will tell.
>>16970160
I don't even know how to find a therapist
>>16970000
LDR can work as long as both partners are 100% devoted to making it work and communicate about everything.
