Is there any hope if i m a handheldless virgin at 22?
There's always hope but you will need to do something outside of your comfort zone to change your current circumstances. What do you attribute your lack of contact with the opposite sex to OP? I can offer you some advice if you'd like but need some more backstory
>>16967449
was kissless, handholdless, hugless, and non-work non-school non-family conversationless virgin at 27
had sex for the first time last week, amazing girl
>>16967449
>lots of the men who resort to online dating are below average
Why do people keep using this data to try to apply it to non-online people/situations?
Of course you have a chance op.
In fact, the boy I have a huge crush on right now is like 21 and in the same boat as you, and I'm like a 7/10 probably
yeah but that pic doesn't take into consideration other things
women are more judged on looks in terms of worthiness, but if a woman gets to know a man looks aren't as meaningful. And not having higher standards isn't some cool thing or something.
Point is, stop feeling sorry for yourself and just get out and live your life
If Angelia Jolie can get a guy like Brad Pitt, you shouldn't give up anon. No matter how pathetic you think you are, someone out there wants you.
>>16967481
>I have a crush no one else wants
>I'm a 7/10 probably
Even Tom Cruise has been with a few girls, and he's a manlet with birth defects.
>>16967481
>lots of the men who resort to online dating are below average
Is this really true?
It would explain alot but knowing women like i do they really, really are picky enough for this to be true
Most girls don't like "hot" guys, because they cheat. Stupid girls throw themselves at hot guys all the time, and sooner or later it happens. So smart girls avoid hot guys and date average guys.
>>16967539
>knowing women like i do
>>16967557
tfw hot guy but grew up ugly nerd so never learned to take advantage of it, now my gf thinks I'm going to play her but was literally a virgin before her
>>16967472
how much did you pay anon?
>>16967452
probably the fear of rejection? also I think i look too friendly and I cant flirt for shit
>>16967481
what a lucky guy
>>16967487
made me thought, i tend to "fall in love" with ppl i dont really know that well, I think this apply to most men, is it true that women take looker to start to "like" someone?
>>16967521
shhhhhhhhhhh
>>16967516
>>16967538
they are both rich and succesful so yea the old guy from playboy got 10000 of gfs
>>16967539
it s true because above average men dont need internet dating to get gfs
>>16967567
Yes, knowing women like i do
Ive worked with em and spent time with em enough to know how picky they are and how extremly few of all men who approach them they actually select for dates only to reject em after a date or two
HA OP I'm better than you, in first grade my class was going to the auditorium to watch a play and our teacher put us into girl-boy pairs and made us hold hands. I remember that cute girl's sweaty little hand, it felt so nice..
>>16967582
you belong in a jail cell you memory pedo
>>16967521
Other people have wanted him in the past, he doesn't want them. He's not attracted to people who are direct about wanting to be with him so I am just staying friends with him and crushing.
>>16967539
Well, what do you think? Why would well rounded men with plenty of options need to rely on a dating website service like OK Cupid?
The men do it because they have no options IRL and want to find someone.
The women on okcupid, on the other hand, are kind of notorious for being vain. We women always have options. They're not going on the Dating site to find /someone/, they're on the dating site to see if they can get better options than they already have in real life.
That's why there's a lopsided rate.
The men of okcupid (many of whom are unattractive) are happy with anyone at or above their league.
The women on the other hand are only looking for guys who are hotter than the guys they already have, so they're harsher with their rating.
The study reveals a lot about a very specific demographic, but I frequently see people misquoting the study and applying it to normal women and men like "WOMEN THING 80% OF MEN ARE BELOW AVERAGE!!"
Of course this isn't true. If you forced women of all ages to rate a randomly selected series of men, then the results would be a lot less lopsided.
>>16967584
What if I told you, I still masturbate to that memory, while looking at one of that girl's pics from Facebook?
>>16967539
I think it's evolutionary for women to think that men are unattractive generally, because you know, the stakes of liking a man and getting pregnant are so high. It would be evolutionary smart for a woman to be very picky. If you watch animal documentaries, the females look like they pick the males they detest the least, rather than the ones they like the most
>>16967592
>Well, what do you think?
I think youre right desu, ive had these thoughts for a long time everytime someone says "go to online dating" and i think to myself...no id rather not
Ive never had problems with girls, last two gfs found and chased after me and i get flirts quite often but looking for "the one" is troublesome since its hard to meet people IRL with a busy schedule
However my thoughts toward online dating is that the ratio of men vs women is so impossible that even if youre the perfect guy your message will be drowned among milions of other assholes wanting attention
this plus what you pointed out makes online dating a losing game
>>16967610
I considered online dating but what I did before I made my profile was make a moderately attractive female profile
the response I got from that profile fucking terrified me and made it so that I will never, ever, do online dating
its so fucking stacked you have no hope, if you can get a girl online you can get twice as good a girl offline
I ll ask again maybe it has goen unnoticed,
Is it true that men fall in love in seconds and women in months?
Therefore if a woman shows little interest to me should I still try or is it a lost cause?
I lost my handless virginity at 22 and the rest at 23 Theres always hope anon.
>>16967617
fucking this
based reponse
>>16967610
I think certain sites are ok for online dating, but they dynamic just changes from site to site.
It works for certain people because like you said, some sites are filled with mostly normal people who simply don't have a lot of free time/need to meet some new people.
Those sites are the good ones because it's normal people looking for normal people.
Sites that mainly have men who are desperate or women who are vain, however, are not as productive and usually just end up making the men MORE desperate and the women MORE vain
>>16967618
Men get excited more easily than women, dont loose hope just keep trying and dont rush if she clearly isnt interested.
>>16967578
ah I see. you understand women, it's men that you're struggling with.
here's how men do it.
They date girls until they find one they like.
Contrary to whatever it is you believe, men reject women more than not. Some men don't want to rude, so they finish a date. Women refer to this as a one night stand. Guy takes a girl out and gives her every opportunity to impress him. She doesn't make him breakfast, and gets mad when he never calls her again.
Sure women reject men, and look for another.
We all do. Humans don't just marry the first person they meet.
>>16967624
The problem is screening those sites away
Im actually thinking that technology hurts the dating scene severly since it enables the poor features of both sexes to basically go nuts.
Men think its a numbers game and bombard all kinds of women with messages and women in turn get more and more vain from this thinking they are unstoppable
We need fear in the dating scene, fear on the mens side which prevents them from approaching women and fear from the women from ending up alone
>>16967618
From my experience, I know immediately whether or not I think a guy is attractive, but I don't allow myself to develop a crush until I've gotten to know him some.
Honestly if I had to represent it on a scale it would be a 1-4
1 being "I doubt I will ever find this person physically attractive"
2 is "they're totally average, I guess I could find them attractive" (usually people with one bad fixable characteristic like bad style, bad teeth, or bad hair fall in this catagory)
3 is "they're kinda cute, I'll probably end up thinking they're attractive if I think about it enough." (These people "grow on you")
4 is "I am definitely attracted to this person, and no matter what anyone says, I think they are very cute"
If a 1 or a 2 approached me I am polite but they have to blow me away with their personality if they want a date
3 or 4 I'm more forgiving if they seem nervous or don't have as strong of a personality.
>>16967631
Well considering ive never rejected a girl i wouldnt know, i still dont think women have anything to fear in ways of rejection and basically showing up would impress most guys if they asked you out
>>16967636
Yeah, that's why I try to stay away from hookup culture. That's one of the things that I like about the boy I have a crush on too- he has rejected girls that have like blatantly come on to him so I like that he has standards and doesn't just give in to the numbers game.
I honestly don't know how people can do it because I can't be intimate with someone unless I have actual feelings for them. A lot of my sorority sisters hookup with a different guy every night and I don't know how they're emotionally stable.
>>16967637
>If a 1 or a 2 approached me I am polite but they have to blow me away with their personality if they want a date
Why this?
I mean, of course a person (male or female) can make a bad appearance in first place. But why does he need to make something which "blows [her] away"? I don't think it's even fair to have this attitude. Everyone can have a bad day or something which distracted him.
>3 or 4 I'm more forgiving if they seem nervous or don't have as strong of a personality
What is so bad about being nervous, so bad that you have to "forgive" him? And what's so interesting and important about a strong personality? I mean, I like women with strong personalities too, but gosh there are not many of them out there.
>What do you attribute your lack of contact with the opposite sex to OP?
Not OP. I once tried and my friend helped me a bit with that, but it doesn't feel that we get along with each other, even though there were a lot of crap like beating each other with pillows, brazen touching, etc. Although it easily went with another, more funny/confident/charming/etc guy, and I was ignored, like non-existant. I'm not saying I'm inferior, but there is no sense in trying when you know you're not the best.
I'm completely content with myself, but deep inside it kills any desire. I sincerely laugh as well with my friends about my lack of stories "how could I fuck a girl but failed", for me it sounds like a joint fun rather than derision. I was once told I have a bad karma.
>>16967452
>What do you attribute your lack of contact with the opposite sex to OP?
Tell/Describe a few things, so it's possible to know/understand what the base-point is.
>>16967649
I think sex is less of an emotional engagement for women (there are exeptions ofc) as opposed to men, women have options so its no biggie
If the sex is bad or the date turns up poorly you will still have thousands of guys to date/sleep with
I mean the guy i know who is the absolute best at hooking up still hasnt had as much sex as most girls i know because the market is quite lopsided
I wonder what the solution to the problem will be...
>>16967667
I have a strong personality and I've dated guys who are shy and I don't click with them well. I tend to ask questions that they don't have answers for or talk about things that they can't relate to excitedly.
It's nothing against shy men- They just don't click with me personally.
Also if I know that I'm not really attracted to someone when they approach me, I'm simply not likely to agree to a date. I work very hard and have a full schedule, and I have maybe an hour or two of free time every few days except for when I'm on break (like now :)).
If I said yes to everyone who approached me, I would have no time for myself or for my friends.
It's honestly just time budgeting- I have to cut the people who are less likely to develop into a relationship based on my initial impression/how attracted to them I am.
That being said, when I do have more free time (like now) I do say yes to boys who I'm not attracted to.
I'm actually going to a concert tomorrow night with a boy that wanted to "hang out" (not sure if he thinks it's a date or not??) I've hung out with him one on one many times over the past 4 years and during that time I've made it very clear that I don't want to date him and that I'd like to just be friends.
The problem is I have a lot of guys in my life that are in the same catagory as him- "friendzoned"- because when they ask me to hang out I'm like "why not, who knows maybe this could be really fun?" But pretty much every time my initial judgement was correct, and I truely am not interested in a relationship with them.
Honestly me saying "no" to boys upfront now is a product of me having a ton of guy friends who I don't really like all that much, and having almost no free time.
I wish I didn't hurt those boys and I want them to find love with someone who they're comparable with, but Unless I literally put all of my feelings aside there's no way for me to spare their feelings.
Not OP but I am in a similar predicament. Im 21 now. A lot of my friends are getting attractive gfs by now and its starting to piss me off a bit. I know jealousy is a tocic feeling but I just cant help it. I mean i have a better body than 95% of my friends but still nothing.
Being in a university with a shitty girl/boy ratio doesn't help either....
>>16967690
Really? I've seen the opposite.
Women are actually hard wired by biology to be more emotionally evolved during sex because they have to carry the child if they get pregnant. Evolutionarily, it is beneficial as a pregnant woman to be in a loving relationship where the father will stand by and support you. Those fetuses and families are more successful, and thereby pass on the genes that seek out that emotional connection from sex.
In a more modern context- think about how a women's orgasm is related to not only the sex that she's decieving, but also her attitude and emotions.
The men don't have to bear the baby for 9 months- they're able to go fuck around wherever they want, so to me it makes more sense that the male would be the one who has nothing to lose from a non-love hookup
>>16967694
Ok that's a point I can understand. You're sounding pretty fair and understanding. Within your first post it sound like a man, which you categorized as uninteresting, isn't able to get to know you better and so you reject any attempt. But now it sounds like you already know in most cases which type of a man is in front of you but you're open if there is something which you might have missed.
Pretty good of you, to take time, write a longer post and make your thoughts more space. :)
>>16967699
>jealousy
Are you talking about jealousy or about envy/grudge?
Do like your friends having girlfriends or don't you like the fact, that they have girlfriends but you can't find one?
>>16967711
Yeah maybe I could have phrased myself better. I dont like the fact that they have girlfriends but I dont.
>>16967702
Yes, youre right from an evolutionary stand point but i feel like this has been somewhat off-set by the modern state of dating culture
Women have alot of options during dating whereas men dont have nearly as much so every hookup for your average guy means much more than for your average woman
Think scarcity, if a resource is rare its more valuable
Plus i think more and more men are waking up to the importance of emotional connection, many guys after breakups (myself included) dont really go out chasing sex but we chase after the romantic connection instead since it means so much more
But its pure speculation, i mean everytime you think you got stuff figured out you meet people who defy the rules you thought you knew
Women put more effort into their appearance than men
Stop the presses
>>16967714
stop focusing on that fucking part of your life. It doesn't help you and it doesn't bring you somewhere positive.
Focus on happy things. Women will notice your appearance. Also bring yourself in situations where you meet women.
>>16967719
>Women coat themselves in deception to look better
At least with a man you're actually getting what you signed up for.
>>16967706
Thanks! Yeah- haha I'm not always 100% on first impression especially with character judgement so I try to give people a chance whenever I have the time.
PS will you guys do me a favor?? Sorry this is kind of off topic but will you anons please tell me if my crush is out of my league? I'm probably around a 7/10.
If he gets along well with me friendship wise do you think he might like me back one day?
I'm really scared to ask him out one day because I don't want to mess up our friendship.
I think he's one of the most attractive men I've ever seen and I'd be so excited to have a chance with him. I think he is a literal 10/10 so I just want to know if i should pursue or give up
>>16967718
Yeah, I think you're right that more women have sex than men, but I don't think that means that women are more emotionally detached at the idea of sex. I feel like plenty of guys are emotionally detached, they just don't/can't have sex as often. But the majority are not doing it from choice.
I gues I just think that if you offered every man and every woman loveless sex, more women would refuse it than men.
Maybe not though- that's total speculation
>>16967667
It's not fair but you see you don't see it from the woman perspective.
>but gosh there are not many of them out there.
Doesn't really apply for women, because if you have 100 people as options some of them are undoubtedly more or less perfect for you so there is no reason to waste time with anything else.
>>16967729
as a man, no he's not a 10/10 for me.
Furthermore: At first you described yourself as a person with a strong character and now it seems like the opposite. Even more, do you want to let your "insecurities" let control you actions and decisions?
I don't think he's out of you league (well, I don't know your league) and I don't think there is something like "someone is out of my league". Get to know him better, get closer to him, find out how he is thinking about you and if both of you are meeting the exceptions.
>>16967699
tfw nice bodies cant be seen in day to day life
no one will ever know i have a six pack or such except if i go to the beach and they are impressed if they see me doing pullups let along muscle ups because i look thin (67 kilos for 182cm) feelsbadman
>>16967729
he s ok/10 really far away from 10 because he doesnt look manly according to me but yea i can understand that you find him attractive. If you are really a 7 it should be easy for you good luck :)
>>16967740
I mean we are friends we spend a lot of time together and we get along well and he thinks I'm really funny-
I'm not nervous like this around him but I get all fluttery when I think about dating him :,(
But when I'm around him I just enjoy his friendship and it just flows naturally
>>16967738
Ya, well maybe, or whatever. But damn, this fact makes women so damn unattractive and not sexy.
As a man and if I see a women with this attitude, gosh how can I see her and like more than just her body? There's no character I could feel likeable/pleasent.
>>16967741
Whew ok good!!
I'm glad you guys think so
I think I'm a 7 but I really don't know TTATT
That's what I'd rate myself but I hope I'm not giving myself too much credit.
>>16967724
>Also bring yourself in situations where you meet women
This is my biggest problem, and I have no idea how to solve it. Ive tried bars, clubs but I hated being in them (just not my thing). I also tried university activity clubs and etc, but the university itself is shit when it comes to girls. I literally don't know what to do....
>>16967745
Women who are rude or make it seem like you're not their time are total bitches, so you're right to feel disrespected if someone openly treats you like that.
Even if I don't have enough time for a guy, I really listen to him and chat with him and do my best to communicate that I'm just really busy but that he seems like a great guy.
In my opinion, when someone sticks their neck out by asking you out, you should never act rudely when you reject them. It's ok to reject them, but the way in which you do so is is very reflective of a woman's character.
If a girl laughs in your face and turns you away, you should honestly thank Jesus because you dodged a serious bullet.
>>16967748
just go post yourself on /soc/
but guys are so beta they ll rate you 1 over just to make you happy
>>16967744
>I'm not nervous like this around him but I get all fluttery when I think about dating him :,(
Sounds good or not? Or do you think this is bad?
>But when I'm around him I just enjoy his friendship and it just flows naturally
Sounds good too. If it's already flowing naturally and you both like the company, try to give the situation a little push. Do you know if he likes you the way you like him? Does he know, you like him very well as a friend (so more than other friends)?
Is he a guy which maybe needs a hint? How does he thinks about a losen friendship, if the ending is not so nice?
Because of my past, I would ask him out, even if I had to lose him as a friend. The opposite would kill me: Being there, not telling (in my case) her how I feel for her and suffering in this place between the chairs. It's even kind of unfair (as in a friendship) to be a friend because I like her more than a friend and not letting her know this.
And one point: What do you think will you do, if he finds another girl? Are you willing to let this happen without any attempt to "win" him?
>>16967751
Have you tried Greek life?
Don't do it if you go to a uni where they'll haze you, but if you have good Greek life it's an awesome way to meet and party with hot girls.
Do you ever try to meet girls in clas? Not in a creepy way but in a "hey do you wanna study for the test after class? I made a study guide".
Lure her in with good study tactics and flash cards and show her how awesome you are while you're studying.
If you guys click it will deff go somewhere.
I've literally dated guys who have pulled this crap on me it works
>>16967751
>Ive tried bars, clubs but I hated being in them
Done that too and I know now, I shouldn't have spent too much time there, because I wasn't comfortable there.
You shouldn't do things, which you don't like. Do things you like and if you're lucky a girl will see you and will be impress because you had so much fun doing it.
>>16967766
im greek and I have no idea what you re talking about :/
>>16967770
>Do things you like and if you're lucky a girl will see you and will be impress because you had so much fun doing it.
This is a terrible advice
Women wont notice you amid the sea of guys in most social venues, you need to find a way to approach em and preferably where there are fewer guys or atleast the ratio between men and women are 1:1 or 2 guys per girl
>>16967753
Whoa, seems correct. A girl I asked out acted nicely and we somehow stay in a relative contact, but I still have a good impression of her and find her cute.
On the other hand, other girls got just unsexy, unattractive, not sympathetic and I just don't want to see/talk to them again.
>>16967780
Of course it should be something, where he actually does get to know women (talking and such things).
If he likes to play Volleyball, then he should join a club. Maybe Volleyball is a bad example, because I don't know if there are mixed-genders teams, but the point about meeting new people/women is still important.
Women will notice his positive appearance if they are talking with them. But he shouldn't visit a bar if he doesn't like to be there. Women will notice this too.
>>16967755
I've gotten ratings from all over the the spectrum at soc, it's really inconsistent and a lot of the people try to ask for contact info so I dunno how reliable their rates are.
If I post a pic will you tell me HONESTLY what you think I am? And if you think he might go for someone who looks like me?
>>16967762
It's good flutters, like I just feel bashful.
i don't live near him but he always asks me to visit and says that I "complete the friend group" (I live in another building but became friends with this group a few months ago). I don't think he knows I like him, I treat all the people in our group nicely and joke with all of them bc I don't want him to think I'm giving him special treatment and catch on. Plus if I did that I think the other people would notice and tease us about being together, and I don't want him to say something like "ew no!!".
He deff needs a hint, he has no experience with women- but he doesn't like women who come on too strong. I think he would be sad to lose the friendship of it didn't work out.
I think I'll ask him out one day, I just don't think nowis the right time since it's almost summer.
I would be sad if he got with another girl but I wouldn't try to fight for him unless I knew he liked me as more than a friend. I wouldn't want to intrude on something he has with someone else if I'm just a friend to him.
>>16967792
Well bars are terrible place for meeting women since the ratio is so shit in most places in the world
Youre right that you should do something you love but not just wait to get lucky because thats litterally like waiting to win the lottery without playing
If you ask girls out/talk to em/try to approach then youre playing the lottery and you have a very slim chance to win a date
If you dont play then..well
>>16967770
Unless you like things with lots of opportunities to talk with women you shouldn't do this.
Instead learn to like things women like in men. If you can force yourself to do it for a year it becomes you.
>>16967775
Oh I'm sorry- Greek life is a term used to refer to people who are in sororities and fraternities.
All the organizations, all together, is refered to as "Greek life".
Ps that's awesome that you're Greek. One of my exs is greek and his family made some amazing food whenever I used to visit.
>>16967783
That's good! Yeah girl's personalities really shine through in a situation like that. I can see why some guys have such a negetive opinion of women after being rejected in such rude ways- if all women were actually like that there'd be no hope lol
>>16967797
yea i will, i dont know you so i have no reason to lie to you or try to be nice
Also everyone seems to say men spam women on online dating sites or ask for info
I ve tried them (no luck) and never spammed any girl, also I was never pushy and such
>>16967807
Ok thank you!
>>16967766
Not an American so no Greek life :/
Also there are maybe 10 girls (out of 170) in my course, and I don't fancy them very much.
I feel like I just have no opportunities.
>>16967806
yea economy s shit but at least the food is good :^)
>>16967815
Oh wow seriously?
Sorry, you're right that ratio totally sucks.
And there are no clubs that are for something that you have a genuine interest in? I have a guy friend who is kinda shy and pretty introverted, but he's an active leader in the school's video game club and he's grown the club to put on events that have hundreds of people attend!
>>16967806
Whats your point?
Think into the girls position, you are one out of 100 guys who arent spamming her with messages but the other 99 are bombing her
You not messaging her doesnt mean anything
>>16967828
Huh? I'm not sure what part of my post you are replying to.
I was just saying that, even if someone received requests all day long, it reflects good character if they are able to politely and respectfully decline rather than throw someone's heart on the floor and step on it.
>>16967797
>He deff needs a hint, he has no experience with women
Then don't wait. Give him a hint. Ask him how he things about one activity, which only you both would visit.
>I would be sad if he got with another girl but I wouldn't try to fight for him unless I knew he liked me as more than a friend. I wouldn't want to intrude on something he has with someone else if I'm just a friend to him.
This would for me be the reason, why I would ask him out (in your situation). Especially because you considered the fact that friends might comment about you and him and you don't want him to feel uncomfortable.
I mean, you don't know how things are and you fear to lose a person you really like. He might don't know your feelings or values the friendship also too high.
But do you want to be placed in this situation? Do you are aware that this distracts you (from other men)? Even if things will end in miserable way (and it seems you're not the person with which it will end bad), ask yourself, is he worth it (asking him out)?
I mean, you both are already pretty comfortable. I would try to do a little push, maybe then he will get the hint. If not, then talk with him. You said your interacting is already flowing naturally, maybe it will continue this way and nothing bad will happen?
I have to go, maybe I'll watch in this thread later. Good bye and good luck.
>>16967835
Whoops, totally clicked the wrong one
It was meant for
>>16967811
Sorry
>>16967812
the face is a small 7 or strong 6
also cant say much because i cant see the body, if you re fat or slim it can easily be +/- 1
Height also matters for me so I cant rate you on this coz i have no info. Somre prefer tall, i prefer short
But you re tottaly on the datable zone, also opinions may vary
>>16967838
Ok- I'm visiting with him and my other friends on Tuesday so if this thread is still around I'll post an update if anything special happens.
I planned a big Easter egg hunt for our friend group and made some cookies!
Do college boys like stuff like that?
I'm gonna hide the eggs really well :D
>>16967848
I dont get you
>>16967643
sounds like you have an all or nothing attitude.
you only ask a girl out, if you love her
how do you know she's THE ONE if you didn't date her.
stalker much?
Hi, i've been watching you for a year, and you don't know me but i love you.
dude you can't be serious.
you need to practice dating, on girls that you don't want to make babies with.
inb4 can't afford to waste $5 on meaningless dates.
coffee dates. very simple can i buy you a cup of coffee. talk while you drink. dive yourself 2 points if you're still talking when the coffee is finished. 2 coffees is a 40% increased risk of heart attack, and cancer so never do a second cup in one date.
after you've had 20 coffee dates with people you do not want to sleep with. what have you learned?
if you didn't sabotage yourself by picking homeless people to buy coffee for, chances are you're not a virgin anymore, because you learned that you were a really bad judge of people you don't want to sleep with, and one ore more of those dates ended in sex. who knew.
>>16967856
Ok thank you for your honesty! I'm slim and 5'7" but he's like 6'2" so the height difference is good
>>16967867
>2nd cup is 40% chance increase heart rate
Lol everything that you said except this made sense
Online dating is NOT for the less attracive.
>>16967867
Not that guy but
>just le go on 20 dates
>>16967818
I used to be part of music clubs and etc. But even there were almost no girls. Its a university wide phenomenon. I guess Ill just have to suffer through it like everyone else lol
Meanwhile people in other unis have no such problems....
>>16967867
>you only ask a girl out, if you love her
Well no, i only ask a girl out if i find her interesting and lately (sadly) i havent found any girl who was intreresting enough to ask out
Its not that i have impossible standards or nothing like that but if i actually ask a girl out i want to have a positive outlook and there to be a chance for her to approve
If i know she will say no why should i bother? I know a few girls who have bfs whom are of interest but i cant in good taste ask them out now can i?
Im not a virgin, in fact this year is the first year out of 12 that ive been single
>>16967876
Not in general, but on OK Cupid it is.
Go make an account and see for yourself if you don't believe me
If your male and not built of lard it quite easy to dress yourself up to pass as reasonable. It just involves spending money.
>>16967872
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=How+Many+Cups+Of+Coffee+Per+Day+Are+Too+Many%3F
caffeine prevents damaged cells from self destructing. It allows cancer to grow
>>16967899
I literally clicked the link you put and it told me that 4 cups are safe for adult consumption
>>16967899
http://www.cancerletters.info/article/S0304-3835%2808%2900667-8/abstract?cc=y=
This study suggests otherwise
>>16967871
that s even better then
also you have a rather masculine/rectangular jaw, some like it some dont some say it s hot some say it s not
>>16967867
i havent even been on a date fuck off ;-;
and what do you mean by asking someone out? "wanna go for a coffee?"
I've never used online dating. sadly i'm sortof famous and have girls lined up around the block
one meaningless relationship after another.
do girls get mad if you use a fake profile pic?
like if I put up some average guy pic
and then I pick her up for the date, is it a deal-breaker?
>>16967921
That'd probably depend on whether they recognize you as famous. If they do, then they have a chance of realizing that's why you used a fake picture. If they don't, fake pic will more likely be seen as a red flag.
>>16967910
I have to be logged in to view that?
Sorry dude the google search you gave me originally led me to dozens of articles that have studies that say that it's NOT bad for you.
The closes thing to what you were saying was a study in which adults around the age of 28 ended up being 56% more likely to die of various things if they had over 4 cups of coffee per day, but later analysis shows that a large percentage of people who drank more than 4 cups of coffee per day were also habitual smokers, thereby eliminating caffeine as the likely cause of death
>>16967913
Yeah, I do have a strong jawline.
I like it personally :)
Thanks again for your honesty
>>16967936
Yeah you need to have access aparently, apologies. I have it from work so...
Anyways, the abstract is right that caffine is not harmful for you but in fact is related to reduced risk
>>16967883
>that double-standard
Do not lower yourself to their level anon.
Girls don't even look at single guys, you may as well be invisible if you don't have a girl next to you, or a ring on your finger. You're damaged good without that stamp of approval.
Men don't do that to other men. Men have honor and dignity, and respect for their fellow man. They don't cuck a brother.
It's ok for girls to steal a man. They all do it to each other, and they lose respect for a sister if she don't make a play for her man. Shit's crazy I know, but what can you do.
Well i'm glad you asked. Her's what you do.
Get a girlfriend. Then you can get girls.
This way you maintain your honor not hittin on another man's woman. You let her come after you, and it all works out.
>>16967956
>r9k pls go
>>16967956
>>16967481
And the women aren't below average?
>>16967964
Although the women may be below average, they have options- so they rate the guys online harsher because they have a reference point.
The men often have 0 prospects, so to them, someone who they could see themself with is automatically "attractive".
For the woman, she'll only rate the online guy higher if he is more attractive than her current prospects.
>>16967906
cup = 8 oz which is half of a small coffee
>>16967449
Έλληνας εδω. Αν έχεις kik kαι ενδιαφέρεσαι να μιλήσεις πες μου το username σου.
>>16967481
>>16967970
Frankly, i'd be shocked to find any other pattern in male vs female ratings in most general environments. Men (and women) on OKCupid may get lower ratings than people chosen randomly out of a phone book, but i think the main point of that pic is to illustrate that men generally have far lower standards than women, which is true in almost every environment.
See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_choice, this isn't just a human thing, it's one of the most common patterns in animal evolution.
>>16967956
>Get a girlfriend. Then you can get girls.
Excellent logic right there.
>>16968297
Ye even if that particular image might not be up to scientific standard the general idea is still true, 80% of men are considered below average and the top 20% has significant majority of all sex. That's true for most other animals even for human history trough genetic research.
Men are Men capable of providing for themselves, and taking care of their own needs, with plenty to spare for others. Their rating of a woman is done with honest and integrity, based purely of heart and moral integrity.
Whereas women are needy and dependent upon men to fulfill them, provide for them, and protect them, obviously these ulterior motives play a part in their rating of men.
Doesn't earn enough, minus 20 points
Too scrawny minus 20 points
Men don't think of entitlement when rating a woman. She has nice lips, birthing hips, and her breasts will feed children. These humble requirements are for the well being of his offspring, and completely selfless.
We Men, cannot allow ourselves to be brought down by trivial things such as equality. Hold your head proud mates. It is women who need to rise to be our equal, naught for us to bow.
>>16967449
Your probability of getting laid drops everyday, get on it, son.
>>16967938
np
>>16968057
ti einai to kik den einai gia dick pics ktlp? Thx pantos
>>16968366
fuck ;_;
>>16967449
That okcupid study about how men are perceived by women is so bullshit. It basically gives either no explanation or really vague explanation to what is the so called "medium" attractiveness and what each level of attractiveness is.
Seriously, measuring something so subjective as looks is just fucking bad statistics. Every person after a semester of statistics 101 can see it.
>>16968534
Ever heard of a Likert scale?
Its quite feasable to use this as a measurement in statistics and if its the raw data we see being represented in the pic im guessing the median rating women give men is very low
What this proves is women are more likely to judge looks as low and that men are more evenly distributed
>>16968581
Yea, but men aren't photogenic, in the sense that they don't have 5 hours a day of selfie experience for years like women do. Also OKcupid and POF attracts some really weird guys and girls. So the guys probably are unattractive, because how many handsome doctors are on those sites? Probably none, whereas there are probably a fair few physically attractive women on there, who are worthless personality wise, but that is harder to judge from a dating profile.
>>16968600
Well yes youre right because obviously the sample pool could yield skewed results but a likert scale is fine for statistic measurement
Like i said, this does however provide evidence that women are much more picky than men or that men have lower standards
These two things are pretty much known to all who have ever had any interaction in the dating scene but its always good to have solid stats to back it up
>>16968581
The medium in that study was guys deciding if they're average or not. The pool of candidates was just users of okcupid, which is full of neckbeards.
The study is shit and it's used as a mean to sell you a book.
>>16968629
Also, the study showed that women message guys they find unattractive more than guys message the unattractive girls.
>>16968629
Id love to see the raw data from that study, its very hard to judge shit based on the pics here
Also yeah girls message with guys they find unattractive because what are the options? be lonely? ^^
I have no doubts both sexes are fucked up when picking a partner but women are pickier and harder to connect to than men
>>16968663
>I have no doubts both sexes are fucked up when picking a partner but women are pickier and harder to connect to than men
Here's the thing tho, there is no data that supports your claim. A "Ugly Guy/Pretty Girl" couple is more common than a "Pretty Guy/Ugly Girl" couple. In fact, it is so common, it became a trope in films and tv shows. Look at half of the sitcoms, you got the fat, ugly husband and the hot wife.
>>16968517
Ena akoma messenger app.
>>16968684
Um, this data presented in this thread supports that women are picky as hell
Its also a generally accepted theory that men are much less picky and will generally sleep with anything that moves
Shit even on this board itself, post as a femanon with pics and get swamped
Men are not nearly as picky when it comes to a partner as women
You seem like a smart enough person, ever heard of marketing?
The reason they show us images in mass media isnt to display reality but to subvert reality
They micromanage details in order to make their target audience feel good and play into their hands, the ugly husband with a pretty wife image is prolly to connect to less attractive men who wish they could have that
>>16967856
what really? I find her totally cute. Don't know any number, but her looks wouldn't be the reason I wouldn't date her.
>>16967863
Which age do have person at the college? It also depends on the character of the person. Try it out, maybe those guys get in some competition and want to win. I think it's worth a a trial.
Cookies are always good. ;)
>>16968728
>Um, this data presented in this thread supports that women are picky as hell
7 year old study by okcupid that has a ton of problems. On the basis of that you can't say who's more picky and who's not. I mean, even if you think the study is correct, it shows that women are less picky cause they go for the ugly partner more often than guys do.
>Shit even on this board itself, post as a femanon with pics and get swamped
Not a fair representation of how dating actually works in the real life.
>They micromanage details in order to make their target audience feel good and play into their hands, the ugly husband with a pretty wife image is prolly to connect to less attractive men who wish they could have that
It's common af, I know like a dozen of those couples and before you hit me with the "anecdotal evidence", ask yourself, what's more possible. Me living in some strange area where really uncommon things happen often or the fact that those couple are common as hell.
>>16968746
https://jenapincott.wordpress.com/2009/06/16/what-makes-women-less-picky-when-dating/
There is a study i found which mentions that:
>Study after study has found that women are pickier than men.
Cant find any of these studies atm but ill look it up, dont worry
This seems like something that should be common knowledge too, i mean ive been active in the dating life for a year now and i picked up on the vibe of women being extremly selective
I got tons of shit studies where some random person created dating profiles and the women got...well basically all the messages and the man who did best got 2
Ill be back for more soon
>>16968761
Eh, don't worry about it. It's not worth it. I'm going to sleep anyway.
>>16967449
the gaussian law that describes the repartition of the male-rate-females notes show very well that if you randomly take one, chances are she will be average. Men adapted his standards to reality.
Woman don't follow the natural repartitions of things and thus are just deluted about what men really are.
Too much princess movies I guess.
The number one thing most (not all) women are looking for in a man is confidence.
A confident man will be successful. He doesn't have to be wealthy already, he just has to have a promising future. He knows where he's going and what he's going to do.
I'm a fireman, studying law. = girl boner.
I has STEM someday i has cubicle. = turnoff
I Math all day long = go sit at the kiddy table
My Paladin is level 50 = you prefer the company of men.
A confident man knows what he wants, and makes decisions (women hate making decisions) When he asks her on a date, he has a whole evening planned with alternatives.
He does not say "i dunno what do you want to do" He says I have reservations for x at 7pm.
If you ask a woman to pick a restaurant, you'll die of hunger before she makes up her mind.
He can be ugly as long as he's confident.
If you have to ask where to put your penis, read a book, she wants a man who knows what he's doing. If you are so lame that you have to ask "was i better than your last boyfriend" she'd rather you see a shrink, than sleep with you.
A woman will overlook a lot of things If you are confident. A confident man can reassure her when she has doubts. A man with no confidence in himself, always second guessing, does not inspire confidence in her.
>>16967449
Your pic is irrelevant.
Attractiveness to men and women mean different things.
>>16969119
yea i dont have much pics on my phone
it was the most related one
>>16968534 >>16968600 >>16968629 >>16968684 >>16968746
Still shocked that this is even controversial, it's a very basic and obvious conclusion from evolutionary biology (not to mention common wisdom in all cultures, eastern, western, whatever afaik).
>>16968799
>Woman don't follow the natural repartitions of things and thus are just deluted about what men really are.
Not necessarily: i don't think the study asked women to try to rate the objective quality of the men there, they probably asked for their subjective opinion. In which case the women naturally rated men according to their own standards, which were extremely high (at least compared to the men).
>>16968996
Pretty sure this is also common wisdom in western culture, if anyone hasn't heard this spiel thousands of times then they probably have bigger problems then not being able to get a girlfriend.
what does handheldless mean?
>>16967449
Hypergamy at its simplest.
>>16969253
you know what a handheld is?
like a portable radio, phone, or tablet designed to be held in the hand.
handheldless can mean you don't have one of those things, but it can also mean that you have an irrational fear of touching women. or holding hands.
>>16969299
no
handheldless virgin means someone who has never held a girls hand
>>16969299
I don't think it's irrational to fear touching women. Remember, if you accidentally bump into a woman that doesn't like the way you look, it's rape
>>16969409
Yeah. I got my first real gf at 22 and we fugged a few months later. Theres always hope.
However, you have to change your approach. Because whatever you're doing isn't working.
>>16969445
Don't act like it doesn't happen every now and then
But anyway, for most men, it's still quite difficult to figure out at which point in the relationship to get physical. Women vary widely on this one, so it's easy to fuck things up
>>16969521
Well you're right at second part
>>16969393
implying that you're not afraid to hold a woman's hand.
I'm Chad btw, you've herd of me. Been with dozens of girls, but one time I was petrified of a girl. She has a pet snake wrapped around her neck, tail all wrapped around her tit. That should have been me, I should have been all over her, but I froze. It wasn't the snake's fault either, I love snakes. I shouldn't say it wasn't the snake, maybe it was. Like that was his girl, so I didn't hit on her, even tho she was flirting. Like she was married, and he was right there.
Anyway. get over your fear OP even if you have to pay a professional. No I didn't mean a prostitute. A hand prostitute. Like at a nail salon. Go get a manicure. Bitch cuts your nails, and shit, and holds your hands.
No more handginity.
>>16969564
what the
FUCK
U
C
K
are you talking about
>>16968996
Normies never needef to be told these platitudes or change their life around to get a girlfriend.
Lack of confidence comes from lack of experience.
>>16969614
I've made peanutbutter cookies before (experience)
Based on, but not entirely owing to that experience, I'm confident that I could bake a dozen different kinds of cookies or more.
I have no experience with oatmeal cookies,
I know I can google a recipe, and follow it..
In addition to experience, there is education.
I read the instructions, but lack experience, doesn't mean I can't.
You say normies don't need instructions that is completely false. And contrary to popular belief around here, normies aren't born with girlfriends. I don't stereotype or discriminate, I wrote it for anyone, normie or not.
Since you focused on experience, let's explore that. What is experience? If I watch fireworks on newyears, is that an experience?
I don't have to be propelled into the night sky and exploded to experience fireworks. Observation is enough to give me experience.
Just as I can experience making a grilled cheese sandwich, by watching someone else do it, i can experience having a girlfriend, by watching someone else do it.
With a little bit of education, mixed with some experiences and a whole lot of imagination, I've had a lot of experiences with my imaginary girlfriend.
So if experience isn't the key to confidence, what is?
OP I'm 24 and never touched a girl, and I haven't given up hope. A girlfriend won't make you happy. Pussy doesn't change anything and doesn't make you a better or happier person.
I do still care, it does bother me kind of, but I'm working on it, I want it out of my head.
You don't "get" a girlfriend. You don't meet some stupid checklist. You do whatever the hell you want.
Are you depressed? Or, are you happy, why not?
Don't say "what kind of look do girls like". Say, "I want to look like x" and then make yourself look like that. Don't worry about "rate me" threads or spend days worrying about a haircut or drop assloads of cash on shoes because /fa/ told you to. What do you want to look like? Well do it, grow/shave your facial hair how YOU want, buy the brands YOU like, accessorize (or don't) the way YOU want. Always thought about a certain piercing but "not sure"? Just fucking do it. If you want biceps or abs or calves then fucking work out those muscle groups, not because "girls will like it", but because YOU WANT TO.
What do you regret? What do you wish you knew more about? Well go do and study the things you never did because you were too busy beating off and shitposting. This is free! "I feel so dumb whenever people talk about X", "I'm interested in X but I never have time" MAKE FUCKING TIME, go to the fucking library or search for scholarly blogs this costs zero dollars.
People will naturally come to you as you become a happier person. A year ago I would go days without speaking to another human and now I'm busy doing things I love with people I love, I made a whole new circle of friends because they are attracted to people who aren't drowning in self-hatred.
When you feel good about yourself and are actually happy (because you aren't, you wouldn't make this thread if you were) THEN start talking to females. Yeah you're thinking "but then I'll be a twenty-THREE year old virgin" so fucking what.
Yes, some girls don't like it. Some will make fun of you. Guess what, they're fucking garbage. If they care you're lucky to dodge a bullet. It only matters because you let it matter. You won't be happy until you accept that you messed up and now you're where you are, unhappy, because of your own choices. Forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself and stop trying to change the past because it's gone. Stop holding yourself to other people's expectations and instead live by your own rules. Because NONE of this matters. Nothing before today can be changed so hatred and depression and self-punishment is literally useless. FORGIVE YOURSELF. You are only in control of the present.
>if I do these things then I will be confident then finally girls will like me
STILL DOING IT WRONG
If your end goal is female attention you're never going to get it.
You improve your life so that you get more enjoyment out of life. Because your own happiness is all that matters.
Spend a year breaking old habits, getting off the internet, learning, exercising, making new friends and becoming the best person you can be. Not to attract women. Because YOU WANT to be the best person you can be.
YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE ELSE'S APPROVAL. YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
>>16967449
I didn't hold hands with anyone that meant it until my first relationship, which was at 30. There is still hope, anon, but I advise you take some initiative. Approach women you are attracted to, tell them you'd be interested getting to know them better, all them out on dates, repeat until someone says yes, go out on a few, if there's chemistry, ask them if they easing to be involved in something me exclusive with you.
It's either that or suffer my fate or worse.
>>16970457
How did she react to your wizard status?
>>16970187
>>16970181
Not bad adv
