So /adv/ i have a dilemma with my boyfriend. Basically we were driving exiting the free-way at night and two skateboarders were j walking across the road.The guy in front tripped dropped his board and the other one tripped behind him on the board. It all happened pretty quick but basically i froze up, i had no time to think. My boyfriend who was sitting in the passenger grabbed the wheel and drove us over the second boy and on to the grass. The kid went to hospital straight away and didn't die but he one of his legs wont be able to walk the same ever again.
When we got interviewed by the police though my boyfriend was asked to go for an "assessment: it turned out to be a psychological assessment. He was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder which I've found out means you are basically insane. It was apparently to do with the discussion he had made to veer left and injure the kid instead of right (where we could have missed both of them) we would have hit the wall (80 km) and totalled my car
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So my issue with this is i have been dating him for almost 3 years now, i love him very much and i don't know a more caring and funny person in the world. Since it happened though all my girlfriends want me to leave him. I don't want to but i have noticed he doesn't feel much regret for near paralysing the boy (who i have gone to visit twice and bought flowers for the mother and father) and that in the past he has manipulated me before, for example he convinced me the jews made up the holocaust. Like he had an answer for everything i googled, really convincing. Then later he laghed at me for believing him. I thought it was funny at the time but looking back it's quite dark. Essentially i'm asking should i leave him? I've come to the conclusion that he might actually be a bit crazy but i still dont see him ever hurting anybody, he is fit and fairly average in height so he could probably hurt someone but he never gets into fights or even conflicts, he usually just agrees with people even when i know he has different views.
>>16966873
Hm 3 years and hes only manipulated you for his own personal amusement? Nah fuck everyone else, keep him close. He loves you as much as you love him and i believe he wont hurt you because you dont look like a target like that skateboarder was. He just has a different sense of humor, but no i think you shouldnt leave him. You already love him, you wont be able to unlove him if you leave him now. Sorry to say it like that but its the truth.
Buutttt hey you should come over to this thread and answer my question. I have a question about my friend and how shes talking to me.
>>16966781
P.S. talk to him, try to see what goes though his mind, but dont give up on him. You guys have already been through alot it seems, years wise. :)
Huh. Well I would give him the benefit of doubt. During an accident you dont think, just act what is the best you can do. In the end, the accident was not fatal, neither the skateboarders or you died. About him not regretting about the accident, he probably thinks it was one of the best outcome that could have happened during the accident. So IMO you dont have enough proof to leave him. If possible, go to another psycologist to see what thinks of him (as you may know, what one psycologist says may not be always true)
TLDR: Stay with him, until another psychologist or stronger proof says he is nuts. If so, evaluate the pro and cons of having him as a bf
>>16966873
>It was apparently to do with the discussion he had made to veer left and injure the kid instead of right (where we could have missed both of them) we would have hit the wall (80 km) and totalled my car
This isn't very clear. Do you mean to say that he decided to injure the kid instead of having your car hit a wall? Because I might have done the same thing- put mine and my gf's life before someone elses. I wouldn't call that sociopathic, it's normal.
Being a sociopath doesn't mean insanity, it just means that the person lacks empathy. They don't feel for other people in the same way. That doesn't mean they're bad, it just means they're more likely to do bad things because there are no emotional reprecussions (guilt, empathy, sadness). People are misdiagnosed all the time by therapists, about 40% of diagnoses are incorrect. And even if he is a sociopath, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Psychopaths can love another human being, maybe not on the same level, but can adore and care for another person they like just as well as anyone. But given what you've described about his personality, it seems like he's a shitstain.
>>16966873
this thread is fake and gay
Given the choice between risking a stranger (child or otherwise) or my girlfriend is make the same one every time. She's infinitely more important. I think anybody would make the same choice as your bf, frankly. Let alone in the heat of the moment when self preservation kicks in.
>>16966873
>person values himself and his girlfriend above random people
There are very few people who would have done differently. That "psychological assessment" was probably done by a fresh out of college kid who does everything by the books, because that's ridiculous.
>>16966967
>implying the holocaust is real
You'll believe anything the Jews tell you.
>>16966967
>implying the holocaust wasn't soviet propaganda to destroy western civilization
He's not crazy. If he was crazy, he wouldn't even know the time of day much less make a decision on which way to steer your car. People consistently use the word "crazy" incorrectly. You mentioned he got a thrill out of manipulating you so he may have some sociopathic tendencies, but there would be more signs & he would need a more thorough diagnosis. Is there any other
behaviors that he's displayed to you that seem off? Also, he could just be an insensitive person, narcissistic if anything.
