Here I am at 20 ,without goals or future. No gf, no anything.
I spent my whole life being bullied for being fat, or anti social later, the worst was in middle school, and since that I cant talk to girls, and barely able to talk to men. I had very few friends but I lost them ,gained some again. Now I have some shitty friends, I go to school and learn normally, without having to live for anything. I have inner doubts,even more inner conflicts, and I just cant deal with any personal problems I have in real life , I hate to argue and I'm just passive as hell.
So please help me get a hint on how to get normal again, I lost my childhood to this shit.
Is working out helps? Is it washes away the anger, the sorrow , and all those things?
What to do other than that?
I'm always afraid of others opinion, and I think everyone just want me to be some sort of slave... I feared the past and I fear the future even more.
>>16964510
Accept Jesus into your life. No one is perfect apart from God. It is said in the Bible, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." (Matthew 6:33)
Repent of your sins, forgive those who have trespassed against you, read the Bible and seek out His face. Pray, pray, and pray
>>16964518
I searched for anything but not this religious ship
but thanks anyways
>>16964522
This isn't a religion, but a relationship with God who died for you
I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance. (Luke 15:7)
>>16964535
get out
BUMP
Thought I would get some help
Is that a place for normal people?
>>16964510
Clear-cut anxiety problems. Social anxiety disorder most likely.
These statements:
>cant talk to girls, and barely able to talk to men
>I'm always afraid of others opinion
>I think everyone just want me to be some sort of slave
>I feared the past and I fear the future even more
>I have inner doubts, even more inner conflicts
>I just cant deal with any personal problems I have in real life
>I hate to argue and I'm just passive as hell
are textbook, they sound like questions taken directly from anxiety questionnaires.
See a psychiatrist, they can help. This is extremely common and usually treatable.
>>16964700
Is it not said in the Bible that your only hope is in Christ Jesus
Read the Bible cover-to-cover https://lumina.bible.org/
Listen to the Bible cover-to-cover https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLURWfUEJXnMHlFqYqDAtRzLMJ4RumvvOo
>>16964510
working out, quit soda, more veggies, a bit more regular sleep schedule, write a journal, etc
desu i'm only commenting cause of csontváry
have you been to the csontváry museum yet?
>>16964790
Oh yes, I falled in love with his art
Especially because I can feel pure melancholy from all his paintings ,whether its about an eagle, or that croatian city with the bridge and mountain, These paintings feels so close to me.
They are like photographs with visible emotion on them. Capturing Different things in life.
>>16964729
I thinked of it but talking to a stranger about my issues sound extremely risky and painful.
>>16964830
>I thinked of it but talking to a stranger about my issues sound extremely risky and painful.
Is continuing your life like this less painful?
It's never going to be easy to talk to someone about such personal issues, but you'll have to do it eventually. The problems you have very rarely go away by themselves: they actually tend to get worse.
>>16964850
And how I could make it a secret that I'm going to a psychiatrist?
I don't want my parents to know
>>16964857
First of all, think about why you don't want your parents to know. Is it because they're assholes? If so, then yeah, it'd be better to keep it from them. If they're nice, supportive people, then consider telling them and letting them help. Always good to have more people on your side, whatever problem you're facing.
If you're 20 years old and going to school, you're in college, right?
So your parents aren't planning your daily life anyway, you can call the psychiatrist's office and make an appointment whenever you want, and pay cash/credit/etc (assuming you don't have insurance except through parents: some people get a student insurance plan through their school, so use that if you have it).
All major colleges also have a psychiatric clinic for students, and they'll have plenty of experience keeping things private. Might not want people to see you going in and out from there, though, unless you have a good excuse or it's hidden away in some corner of campus.
>>16964830
do you draw yourself? just drawing your day every couple of days helps already.
mostar is beautiful (and melancholic) irl as well btw, check it out once if you have the time.
csontváry has this melancholy, yes. it's so organically woven into those colors, pain and beauty flows.
>>16964857
your psychiatrist can't really talk about it to your parents, and so just don't tell them.
>>16964889
Lets not talk about my education, its complicated
long story short in 10th grade I fucked up and got to go another class where there was no grad exam but I got a profession ,so I could go get a job but nobody search for worker in that field. Just finished that school last year, and since last years September , I'M preparing to take the grad exams I was unable to . After that I go to college, so yeah I'm preparing for college\university, I want to be a translator but many says I should go be an engineer because being a translator pays low, but whatever thats another topic.
Why I don't want to tell myparents? Well , they're supportive and stuff, but I don't like emotional shit, and them knowing that I'm weak, I'm so fucking bored of feeling weak, these are secrets that I just need to keep from mom and the rest of my family, if they were to be uncovered I would flip shit, cry ,and basically go raging and fuck shit up. I don't know why but thats how I would react.
I guess I'm too aloof , I hate to be emotional. Which is quite controversial when I love to be super emotional on the internet when I speak to someone about my life...
>>16964894
Sometimes I drawed but I stopped because I was too depressed to draw anything, and yeah parents, they would see what I'm drawing and would be like wtf
So about csontváry ,I sensed that melancholy right, Is there are any sorts of digital archive where I can check them out in HD,
That may sounds lame but
There is an ost track that perfectly fits Csontváry's paintings , Its from assassins creed 2 ost - venice industry, when I listen to that and checking out his paintings its like descending into another world, so amazing.
>>16964894
Also, nowadays I'm rather writing poems, or slams , thats how I live out, I even made a new writing to make it unreadable to anyone.
Bump , waiting for answers
>>16964944
hmm i'm sure there is some sort of digital archive, but i don't know any off the top of my head, sorry
http://mek.oszk.hu/01300/01314/html/elemzes.htm
i know that feeling all too well. when you're trying to create things, like drawing or writing, but your parents might see...
it's hard to say 'fuck it' to that feeling, at one point you'll just have to let things get out of your system and draw them out again.
hmm i didn't know jesper kyd before, but sounds good. i don't really listen to anything similar, only palestrina and sunn o came to my mind...
also work on those slams, it sounds like a great output, really.
idk what else to say... if you're magyar, what you feel is perfectly normal. (....i would finish any degree and get out of there, whooops.)
>>16965097
DESU I would like to draw or paint but I really has no inspiration sometimes I want to draw a woman or a landscape but I dont have the talent for that .. Or I dont feel that I have the talent
Én mondjuk nem hagynám el az országot mert itthon szar de szerintem külföldön is ugyanolyan szar lenne, ha nem szarabb
>>16964510
Get out of your house bro. 4chan ain't doing you any favors. Go out and interact with humans on the regular, and it'll help you get over some of your bullshit. Join clubs, get a hobby, whatever. Play a sport, maybe. Go to the gym.
>>16965114
egyrészt örülök, hogy maradnak magyarországon normális emberek (szerintem tök normális vagy, lesznek majd megint jobb barátaid, türelem), másrészt másképp szar külföldön, mint magyarországon.
az a legjobb, ha ott találod meg magadat és az inspirációt, ahol most vagy. tényleg érdemes elmenni egy pszichiáterhez, ahogy mások ajánlották. esetleg egy olyan háziorvoson keresztül, akihez tuti nem járnak a szüleid.
de... mikor úgy érzed, hogy próbálod, próbálod, de sehogy nem tudsz beszélni a csajokkal, és eltelik egy csomó idő, de még mindig csak rossz arcok vannak... akkor keress másik földrajzi helyet. akár csak másik várost. kolesz vagy valami.
igazából tényleg csak azért írtam, mert nagyon szeretem csontváry képeit, szóval nem tudom, hogy lett ebből az, hogy tanácsot próbálok adni. nem tudok tanácsot adni. azon kívül, hogy bólogatok, a mozgás jó ötlet. nehéz elkezdeni (nagyon!), de egyszer csak azt veszed észre, hogy hiányzik, ha nem sportolsz.
vannak ezek a teljesítménytúrák hétvégente a hegyekben, szuper mozgásforma.
https://bura.hu/forumok
stb stb tényleg nem kéne tanácsokat adnom, szerintem nagyon különbözünk (a festészetet meg zenét eltekintve;))
>>16965057
Jesus said, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33). Accept Jesus into your life, start reading His Word, stop sinning. REPENT for the End of this Age is near. Seek Jesus, He is your provider of all things. Depend on Him and He will deliver, I guarantee it
You keep seeking answers in other people. Other people cannot save you. Buddha cannot save you. Those idols, they cannot speak, neither smell, nor hear. They are not alive. Jesus is alive. CRY out to Him, get on your knees and REPENT
Mert Isten úgy szerette az embereket, hogy az egyszülött Fiát adta oda cserébe értük, hogy aki hisz a Fiában, az ne pusztuljon el, hanem örök életet kapjon. (János 3:16)
>>16965209
Köszönöm azért még a tanácsokat,
Hogy érted hogy nagyon külömbözünk?
Csontváry festészetét mindketten szeretjük, a zenei izlésedről nem igazán tudok. Te gondolom valószínűleg sokkal életteljesebb vagy mint én ...
>>16965224
remélem, segítenek a fentiek.
pl ott kezdődik, hogy bullying a suliban (mi ez magyarul?)... nekem ezzel mázlim volt. a szüleimmel volt (van) rengeteg problémám, de suliban mindig volt kivel beszélnem, akkor is, ha esetleg épp nem volt nagyon jó barátom. nyilván nekem is beszólogattak néha, de sose volt vészes.
aztán azt is írtad, hogy félsz mások véleményétől (ítélkezésétől...? nem tudom, hogy fordítsam). nekem nagyon sok félelmem van, mások véleménye nagyon is érdekel -- de az önbizalmam nagyobb minden negatív impulzusnál.
szóval eléggé különböző élményeink voltak. a szüleimmel végtelen sok probléma van, de a barátaim tompították a dolgot.
szóval ja, nagyon mázlis vagyok.
"életteljesebb" ööö... többet jár a szám online, az biztos:D
