Today I went to a social meeting in my city regarding some interests of mine (/tg/-tier stuff). I've been living in this place for a couple of months and I know no one, so I'm using all chances I can to meet new people.
Thing is, I went there and immediately figured I had no idea what to do. People were playing board games, roleplaying games, and I didn't have the slightest idea on what to do. The event's organizer welcomed me, invited me to play things, and my first reaction?
>Uh, I think I will look around and see if I can infiltrate somewhere, okay?
I ended up playing a couple games before the convention wrapped up, and I waited to see if I could sneak with a group or something to not leave alone (the place was new and it was dark already so I couldn't take any chances). I realized I had felt alone the whole day and even more at that moment. I made no new friends, barely one acquaitance (not the organizer) who doesn't even seem like a trustworthy person, and I would have left alone if not for two guys who happened to go at the same direction as me. And I felt too different from them too, especially when they started talking of "going out with some girls" - something I don't do at all, I'm more of a homebody. I left them at a bus stop before I boarded the train back home.
(to be continued)
>>16959279
The whole day I was fretting of whether getting into a group or something, trying to find an empty spot or a chance to ask for people but I was way too damn shy to do anything at all, and the few games I played was because I actually got to hear a guy was prepping a game right next where I was sitting. Otherwise I walked around and checked on the games and people, and felt really awkward doing that - which I did just because I had nothing better to do.
What the hell is wrong with me? I don't want to end up alone, but the whole process of meeting people is bothersome and I fret way too much.
On the other hand, and as a second issue, I used the moment to check on the girls and something odd stroke me - as much as I would adore having a girlfriend, I cannot see anyone as a gf material despite their physical attractiveness. Even attractive girls don't look like someone I'd like to be with, there was a cute girl but something about her put me off, I don't know what was it. And each time I walk on the streets it's the same thing really, every single girl has a "something" on their first impression that puts me off. I wonder what could be wrong with me.
Any advice, please?
>>16959279
>>16959280
Well you took a huge step just by going to that convention.
>>16959302
... This is social anxiety, isn't it?
>>16959279
>>16959280
You sound like a homebody, but not by choice. You're socially awkward and anxious. Getting out like this is rough and will remind you that you're alone, but it's the only way you're going to meet people. And if you worry too much about what strangers think of you, you're never going to take the necessary risks involved with putting yourself out there.
>I used the moment to check on the girls and something odd stroke me - as much as I would adore having a girlfriend, I cannot see anyone as a gf material despite their physical attractiveness. Even attractive girls don't look like someone I'd like to be with, there was a cute girl but something about her put me off, I don't know what was it. And each time I walk on the streets it's the same thing really, every single girl has a "something" on their first impression that puts me off. I wonder what could be wrong with me.
It's easy: you fear rejection. You subconsciously make yourself believe that there is something wrong with these random strangers you know absolutely nothing about. Why approach people if they're as awful as you think they are? You're setting yourself up for failure. Unless you start taking chances, you will always be alone.
>>16959306
It sounds like it, yes.
>>16959306
I think the social anxiety would be if you DIDN'T go.
>>16959279
It's like this man -
You see me jumping, and then you see my backside. You see me jumping, and then you see my backside. You see me jumping, and then you see my backside. You see me jumping, and then you see my backside.
https://youtu.be/KgCdRnw0qzE?t=39
>>16959308
>You sound like a homebody, but not by choice. You're socially awkward and anxious.
Back in my old city, I used to meet my friends in our houses. I seldom went out with them. I also didn't meet new people on a constant basis, only when it was actually necessary (like getting in a rp group where some of my friends would go).
>Getting out like this is rough and will remind you that you're alone, but it's the only way you're going to meet people. And if you worry too much about what strangers think of you, you're never going to take the necessary risks involved with putting yourself out there.
Yeah, that's why I'm putting myself out there, or I'll end up alone. It's difficult and it hurts, however...
>It's easy: you fear rejection. You subconsciously make yourself believe that there is something wrong with these random strangers you know absolutely nothing about. Why approach people if they're as awful as you think they are? You're setting yourself up for failure. Unless you start taking chances, you will always be alone.
I should reflect more on this - you may have nailed something. Maybe it's not rejection, but something related. The subconscious thing telling me how people aren't worth it is obviously the result of whatever is going on.
>>16959312
>>16959315
Yes? No?
>>16959319
I'm on my phone. Lemme watch that.
COME ON
How to get talking to someone in places you know no one:
>walk up to anybody and ask
"Excuse me, how much does a polar bear weigh?"
>get random answers like "idunno" or some autismus maximus will go "Males weigh around 450kg and females between 150-250kg"
>no matter the answer just quip back
"So, heavy enough to break the ice - hi i'm anon!"
>>16959279
You took a big step, and congratulations on that.
You may have expected too much from the event. You chatted with some people and got to play a little - that may be all that was likely. It's a process - the next event of this sort you go to is likely to have some of the same people, and you can start conversations with "You were at the convention in March, weren't you?"
Put ANYONE in a room full of strangers, and the first occasion will be awkward and only minimally successful. But it makes the second and third tries a whole lot easier.
Six hours later... Sorry, I needed to sleep.
>>16959516
Heh, sounds like a good plan.
>>16959592
Hopefully I'll see some of them in a month. Other than that I don't think I'll see them again elsewhere, this is a huge ass city. I however have some activities next week and here I am hoping anxiety won't kick off.
