I left my ex in March of 2014, a month after I gave birth to my son because he put hands on me and threatened my life.I entered a motion to relocate with the child which was granted to me. I was not an IN native, I was born and raised in NY, and I had no one in Indiana outside of my ex. That being said, the court granted him visitation, none of which he attempted to use until January of 2015. After the first initial hearing, my ex hired an attorney and together they filed for another hearing over a specific visitation order, and this is where all the shady stuff started. Because my financial situation wasn't ideal, and I was in school, I had wrote and requested to appear via telephone, it was denied. I wrote again and it was still denied. I tried to find legal aid in the state but no one could help because I was no longer a resident of the state of Indiana and any private counsel wanted upwards of $1k as a retainer, which I hadn't had. After doing my due diligence in my attempt to cooperate with the courts they had me held in contempt of court.
There was a hearing in NY as well for jurisdiction, and after NY and IN were in touch discussing the matter, IN decided to keep jurisdiction based on the fact that my ex lived there.
The court order from Indiana in regards to jurisdiction used language to slander me. Not once has any single court order from the Huntington County Court used anything pertaining to the best interest of the child. My ex, is an abuser, he has a criminal record, he has had his license revoked and was arrested on charges of DUI with serious bodily harm. Any type of communication I had with the IN courts was one sided in his favor. I have the paper trail. Also, when I spoke to my caseworker from the YWCA she had told me (this was Tuesday the 22nd of March) that she has heard on quite a few occasions that the Huntington County Courts are extremely biased. This isn't just me. I cannot trust this court system to keep my child safe
How can I fight this?
Lawyer up.
Seeking legal advice on an anonymous imageboard is not the right step
>>16958498
Your situation is fucked up, but don't start talking about bias. The bias is almost ALWAYS against the man in these type situations. I am frankly amazed you're the one getting fucked over, and if he didn't sound like a total douche I'd be applauding him.
>>16959262
Fuck that, I am applauding.
You don't think she isn't slanting their story to make herself look better, and him worse?
OP, if you fight him being able to visit his child, you are a fucking cunt. Don't be that girl.
Without a lawyer, you may as well lube up, because he is about to bend you over, and it won't be gentle. If you are fighting over visitation, best to reach an agreement outside the courtroom, as you have little chance.
This child will loathe you, years from noe, if you somehow ensure they grow up without a biological father that wants to be involved in their life; multiply that exponentially if your child is male.
>>16958498
>I don't have a lawyer and the legal protection that affords me.
>I don't have enough money to even afford one.
>I can't take time off from school (see: PRIORITIZING) to defend what I personally perceived as my child's safety.
>I'm using the word slander without knowing what it means, yay I'm ignorant as fuck of legalese!
If it was legitimately slander, you would've had grounds to sue or overturn. It wasn't slander, you just didn't like that they considered you an absentee mother... which you were.
Demonize the father of your children all you want but he can
>provide for your child
>is willing to make the monetary and time sacrifices to defend his right to be a part of the child's life
>is willing to go through all the proper legal proceedings to accomplish this
He is the better parent currently, whether you want to admit it or not. You don't even have 1k in the bank to hire a lawyer to DEFEND YOUR FUCKING CHILD.
You perceive bias and unfairness everywhere under the sun, but from the court's perspective (which I guarantee you is unbiased or it wouldn't be a god damned court of law) you aren't the woman you are trying so desperately to convince us you are. They genuinely believed you don't have the current means to provide and care for your child 24/7, and I'm inclined to believe them.
The court system doesn't owe you jack shit, you need to be willing to fight for your child and you aren't. You are priotizing a week of class over a court case that potentially determines how the rest of your child's life will play out.
Also, you ran away from the state immediately afterwards which is kind of telling. Don't just act like Indiana is some ridiculous kangaroo court state because it isn't. You could've easily waited until a few years for all this divorce shit to settle out.
Yea, dipshit. Divorce is a multi-year process. You don't just file papers, move away, stick your head in the sand, and everything is suddenly perfect.
>>16959262
>The bias is almost ALWAYS against the man in these type situations. I am frankly amazed you're the one getting fucked over, and if he didn't sound like a total douche I'd be applauding him.
Not OP, but my mom went through the same thing in TX when I was younger. My father's an abusive sociopath and would rape/beat her in front of me. He'd lock her outside of the house, naked, in extreme weather. Whenever cops would come around, he knew how to handle them, and they would treat her like she was the bad person. She finally got away and he tried to kill us by tampering with her brakes (after leaving a long series of threatening letters on her cars). Then after some years, he suddenly demanded visitation. I was molested over two months before telling her, at which point she tried using the system to get me out of visitation. They had no evidence because he was very careful about not leaving any.
Every time she tried getting ahead in life to make things better for us, he would always get in the way. She was finally making $20/hour at her dream job and then this shit happened. She quit her job, I quit school, and we just stayed at home crying, eating junk food, and playing videogames. We eventually packed up and fled the state to stay with friends, moving from place to place, starting over every time. Once I turned 18, we stopped.
Point is, there definitely are areas that are in favor of men. It's not as rare as people think.
>>16959347
>my anecdotal evidence trumps years of documented studies that confirm bias against males in divorce/child visitation proceedings.
Your case is the exception, not the rule.
>>16959359
I'm not saying that I don't agree overall. I'm saying that certain areas, typically southern, tend to favor men. I've only mentioned my experiences, but I know of too many similar occurrences in that area and surrounding cities.
>>16958498
Have him killed.
There was a movie about it.
This is one of those rare situations where Reddit would in fact be better for you.
You could ask people in the legal profession specifics and provide said court orders that you have received from them.
If I was you I'd argue for monitored visitation only, or maintaining the visitation as they stand.
What is he actually trying to achieve? Gain custody of his child?
Also:
>and I was in school
You're a teacher or...?
>The court order from Indiana in regards to jurisdiction used language to slander me.
Err... you sure about that? Slander, ie untrue things, would meet libel requirements which normally fetch a nice fee for lawyers.
And again... Reddit... if this was a repeat thing then a class action lawsuit would interest lawyers who could offer free service to the mothers wanting to keep their kids, while taking any damages as payment.
>>16958498
There is no bias in the system - your ex is just playing it better than you are.
Like it or not, you are going to have to hire an IN lawyer to represent you. Go without lunches for a month if you have to.
Two of the first things he'll do are to move to quash all the judgments against you up to now, and to have the court appoint (and pay) a third lawyer to represent the interests of the child.
