My bf said he would hypothetically break up with me if I got raped. We're pretty serious & I don't date people unless I legitimately think I'll marry them. I understand his thinking I'll never be the same person after being raped, but I also don't want to end up marrying someone who'll ditch me. That would suck ass. I think if there were kids in the equation he'd take them or reconsider, so I'm not worried about being a single mom and having the rest of my life literally ruined, but I'm worried quitting my job to have a jillion babies with him could eventually fuck me over. So am I dating a savage in disguise or is this understandable given the caveats? What do you think, /adv/?
>>16957527
I think his opinion would change if you were married and had kids together. Honestly, on some level I would blame myself for not having been there to do something about it. So I guess I can see how it might ruin a relationship. Best not to worry about a tomorrow that may never come. That's why stuff like this is better left unsaid most of the time.
>>16957527
Your boyfriend is a retarded manchild and you should end it now that he's shown his true colors.
>>16957787
That's an interesting conclusion. Care to explain your reasoning?
>>16957527
Is he Muslim?
>>16957527
Maybe he's just weak, like, he wouldn't be able to support you and just run away from the problem or something. Not that's any better.
How the hell did this conversation come up?
I think this is a giant red flag, if someone rapes you that isn't your fault and if he then sees you as tainted or something like that he probably has some fucked up views on women and relationships.
Someone who would ditch you when something horrible like that happened to you sounds like they don't have much empathy and their priorities are kinda messed up, who knows what other shit he might leave you over?
>>16957527
i definitely wouldent break up with a gf if she was raped. in fact, i would be more inclined to stay with them to help them through the mental trauma. i honestly think most guys would feel the same way as me. your bf doesent care about you or is a mentally retarded manchild as this guy said >>16957787
the fact he said it to you.. wtf lol
>>16957527
I would dump him just for that. What a freak
>>16957792
Saying he'd dump you if you got raped could only be the result of massive insecurity on his part. It means he doesn't trust you and would rather assume you cheated and break it off instead of believing that you actually got raped.
>>16957808
That's a very good question. Who the hell brought this shit up in the first place? I hate it when people bring up all these negative BS "what if" scenarios.
break up with him
I could never date someone who would ditch me in a time of need.
That being said, it's not like he's an awful guy for having that opinion, he's just got certain opinions. To me, those opinions are not conducive with a healthy trusting relationship. But to there, it wouldn't matter.
Like imagine if it were another question: would you break up with me if I got in a car wreck and lost my arm?
To some people, that would be an automatic deal breaker.
However, I want someone who is willing to stay with me even if something awful like that happened, and in return, I'd stay with them if something awful happened to them.
Would you stay with your BF if he got raped?
If yes, then you guys arn't on the same page and you should break up with him. If no, then you're both pretty much in agreement, and the relationship is fine (unless anything bad ever happens to either one of you)
>>16957825
Fair enough. I was more thinking he would beat himself up about it for not having been there to do anything about it. I could see how rape would put strain on a relationship. I think a strong relationship can survive it though. If this is important to OP she should just break up with him. I just really cannot stand what if scenarios with such negative connotations. It just isn't healthy to think of that kind of negative shit all the time.
What a bunch of cucks. Op go out and test the theory.
>>16957846
You're the biggest cuck here cuckasaurus rex.
"Should" is a big word, but there are a few reasons to do it. One is she might change quite drastically, and depending on how old you are and how close you are, you might not like the prospect of dealing with the fallout for potentially years to come. Second is quite a few women aren't right in the head and will make up rape stories for utterly bullshit reasons, and you're worried she might be one of them. Third is raw emotions, jealousy, insecurity, guilt over not being able to prevent it etc. In general, rape has the potential to throw the dynamic of a relationship out of whack.
Personally I don't think I'd do it if we were a long term couple, unless it resulted from her taking some retarded risk (fuck supporting people who play with fire and get burned).
Dude sounds like he's immature as fuck, got deep-seeded insecurities, and is self-centered as hell.
He'd be willing to double victimize you over doing what he should be doing, which is being there for you.
I say this as a guy who's loved two women who were raped (including my current girlfriend, where we've had to work through a lot of thing, but are probably more content in our relationship than either of us has ever been).
>>16957863
This guy gets it.
Kind of a dick move on his part to say that he would ditch you if you were ever to be raped, but it's certainly understandable. Nothing about getting raped makes a relationship stronger. In fact, legitimate rape is a traumatizing event that might completely ruin whatever dynamic your relationship had. It could be a mature decision to break it off - especially if he knows he wouldn't be equipped to provide you the support you would need.
Then there's the possibility that you could be lying about whatever hypothetical rape would happen to you and instead it's a case of regret sex or whatever, especially since "rape" is happening at such an alarming rate in our society.. Adultery is definitely a reason to break off a relationship.
But to dismiss the guy as an autistic manchild like the rest of the god forsaken retards on this board would like to think... well that's just people who don't know any better.
Yes. No matter what happened the old girl is gone and you're in for a world of pain.
I dated a girl who was raped, before we were together, and I'm never going there again.
>>16957864
Seriously. Do you get on with ur girlfriends son.
>>16957787
>>16957806
>>16957836
>>16957864
I would ditch the gf. No woman is worth dealing with after a rape. That sort of shit fucks them up bad, especially in this society where GURL POWER is so ingrained into everyone.
Tell me with a straight face your world wouldn't come crashing down and the person who would end up dealing with the fallout would be the poor sap who is dating you.
>>16957864
Goddamn, do you live in Detroit or Köln?
>>16957892
By this logic you should break up with someone if they're assaulted, or a family member dies, or hell, even if they're having a bad day. Who wants to deal with that shit right? No one has time for that emotional turmoil.
>>16957892
We're talking about actual rape, not about being teabagged in a videogame.
And >>16957916, it's about supporting a person you're close with during a very difficulty event. Afterall one of the most famous words about marriage are about that.
>>16957864
If this board had flags his would be Swedish.
>>16957916
the problem is that rape deals with sex which is a pretty big fucking deal especially when you're intimate. the girl will forever have flashbacks(or at least remember) and it's gonna suck for her and the dude at least for awhile.
sorry dude, that's just how it is. it's like dating single mothers and expecting them to not have the experience of childbirth/etc. once you get to them they've already lived a lot more and are much more shrewd.
>>16957924
>Afterall one of the most famous words about marriage are about that.
You left out one thing. They are not married. He has no obligation to "support her" and can walk anytime just as she can if he suddenly lost his legs or whatever.
>>16957927
I get what you're saying but just because it would make things difficult doesn't mean you should leave them for it. If you really care about someone you would try to work through that instead of possibly making them feel even worse by leaving them.
Leaving her is "unfair" because it's not her fault, but it's not your fault either. It's sad but you can't date/wife a girl who is raped. It's your job to find a good girl, not be fair.
Just ditch him. Not worth it if he´s not willing to support you
>>16957933
I'll give you this much, I wouldn't leave them outright I'm not that heartless nor am I that tactless. But I'm not staying too long either.
>>16957886
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? YOU'RE A FUCKING WHITE MALE!!!!
>>16957933
Not my responsibility.
>>16957527
Its a really blurry line, I don't know, it's hard because a lot of the time its the girlfriend who willingly fucks someone else then when she feels bad about it she says she was raped to justify what she did, I'm aware it's not always the case, but that has happened to me before, I stayed with her supporting her trying to be the good guy, then I learned she just cheated on me, that fucked me up.
It's difficult, man, I don't know if I could do that again.
damaged goods
>>16957527
If you were raped, that will be the time when you need him most for support and just to help you get through it and recover from it. That's a big red flag imo, he would rather just leave you than fix the things between you two or help you through it.
Did he tell you why he would hypothetically leave you? Is it from guilt that he couldn't protect you, or is it because he will become disgusted by you?
>>16957927
>the girl will forever have flashbacks(or at least remember) and it's gonna suck for her and the dude at least for awhile.
It's not as bad as you make it out to be, really. There's a bigger chance that she'll start putting together a grocery list, remember something she forgot to do earlier in the day, etc. and focus on that.
>>16957527
Don't listen to any of the psychos saying this is normal behavior. Sane dudes wouldn't do this shit. You're just asking a terrible question on 4chan, the only place that might be slightly more insecure in themselves than Tumblr.
>>16957527
SHOULD you break up with your GF if she was raped?
Probably not.
WOULD I break up if my GF was raped?
Absolutely.
Life is unfair sometimes, chica. I already have enough bullshit and baggage to deal with without having to shoulder the burden of someone's emotional trauma. I have no issues supporting my woman through times of turmoil but there is a point where you simply can't help them, only therapy can.
I based my opinion off of previous experiences as I've dated two women who were sexually assaulted prior to dating me.
P.S. No one likes that one bitch who constantly asks ridiculous "What if" questions then gets mad at the hypothetical answers to the ridiculously hypothetical situation.
If you really can't take the concept of your SO being raped, and then it happens before you've grown the fuck up, then yeah, you probably should break up. In the end, it will do less harm to leave outright than to stay but turn psycho.
But it would be better still to grow the fuck up. Then you might be able to actually do some good.
>>16957527
at least he told you, better than the countless army wifes who cheated when they're husband was deployed than broke up with them when they came back different people.
>>16957527
Good christ, what the fuck. If my S/O was raped, I'd stay with them - even if they wanted me to just be there as a platonic friend. It's a traumatic experience - the last thing someone should do to someone already dealing with trauma is to add more to it.
That's a rather serious red flag.
>>16957527
No, he is probably not emotionally mature enough to know how to handle it. Then again, maybe he just has a very stupid belief regarding it, or a shallow perspective/narrow viewpoint.
>Am I dating a savage?
That's for you to decide, but deciding whether he is based on this one belief isn't very fair to him. If he isn't willing to explain why he feels the way that he does about this, then that is a little bit of a red flag.
>>16957527
I would only leave you if you purposely leave yourself vulnerable. for example getting drunk and trusting horny men at parties/bars not to take advantage of you.
>>16958839
This, there's a big difference to being raped randomly in the park on the way home and being raped by Chad at a party after she spent the night drinking with him, there's certain situations that can easily be avoided by not being a dumb slut.
What the actual fuck? Break up with him. He doesn't see you as a person, just an object.
Break up with him if all of his money is stolen, or if he's stabbed, because then he's dirty and used. LMAO
>>16958905
not really
if you drink and someone thinks they can take advantage of you then that's their fault not yours for being raped. A lot of people party with friends and family and loved ones. Plus you wouldn't say "eww you're broke because your shit got stolen at a party because someone took your keys and broke into your car and took everything!? wowww dummy :)))"
lmao
>>16958839
>proof that males are putrid and vile
>yet people get mad at women for being hesitant/worried/scared about men
OP just use the shit out of him then drop him. When he asks why, tell him he's been used and you think he's easy and gross. Do it for the lulz
>>16958920
>>16958926
>"no officer you don't understand I was drunk not my fault I killed a family of four" :^)
you are just in fault as well for not taking measures to protect yourself from rape.
>>16958926
Not everybody is as socially unaware and sociopathic as you are.
>>16957527
>>16958973
Your really should ask for advice on a non sjw board if you are a female. All you're going to get here is tumblr rejects and white knights telling you "I would NEVER EVER do anything to contradict you and your beliefs like all those OTHER assholes ;^)".
>>16957810
I bet you wouldn't Sven... How's the wife's son's basketball team doing this year, btw?
>>16958926
Don't you have an sjw subreddit to moderate.
>>16957527
>I don't date people unless I legitimately think I'll marry them.
Good start.
>My bf said he would hypothetically break up with me if I got raped.
Now, if I was interested in someone, and thought I want to marry her... but someone had raped her, or then went on to rape her while dating her... and I believe that she was raped(ie, she told me, rather than me stumbling upon this happening recently etc), then I'd want to stay with her, comfort her, and if I seriously believe I could get away with it, confront and hurt the guy who did it. Preferably take him to court.
I honestly can't decide that by your description if he is just a moron and hasn't thought that through, or is genuinely a massive cunt.
I mean, either or. This should be a massive red flag.
Your decision how to react to it, but that's so honest that if I held that opinion I'd never fucking utter it aloud.
>>16959080
>if I held that opinion I'd never fucking utter it aloud.
Yea, you're the type of shitbag who would tell everyone how politically and socially correct you would act in a situation and then when shit hits the fan you abandon all these false morals you have spouted for yourself. You are a fucking coward and I believe you should return to Reddit.
>>16958973
Honestly, I think that a large number of people would break up with their so if something catastrophic happened to them and changed who they were as a person, out of those individuals very few of them would probably admit something like that to you. People tend to be yes-men, and simply lie their way through life in attempts to be politically correct. If your bf is willing to tell you some shit like that then he sounds like an honest person, if not a little blunt. I bet he votes trump lawl.
>>16957826
>hate it when people bring up all these negative BS "what if" scenarios.
Another anon here and I'm guilty of this. I like to ask such awful questions because I want to invest in quality people that will stick when shit hits the fan. You can gauge a lot about a person during those types of talks
A lot of numales iit
>>16959137
If you get get through life without telling a lie, or withholding a truth then I wish you good luck mighty paragon of virtue.
However, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that when a moral/ethical assumption is made about one in ignorance of their character, by another the said moral/ethical assumption is true about the accuser making it, as it is what they fear the other being, and feel the need to repudiate.
I'm also a contrarian so fuck yourself.
>>16957825
Bullshit!
I had this happen to me. A long-distance gf got "raped" in the evening, i take the first morning train to her town, contact the police, testify. Later on I find out the "rapist" is her ex, they sexted for a while, she actually got to his place after he invited her, she is fully aware he is a sadistic pedophile and she hid this from me. Her reasoning was "I just want to see if I can be faithful."
Completely reasonable doubt, given the fact you can ruin someone else's life for no reason while spending years taking care of a cheating cunt who cucked you.
My gf admitted during our 4th date that she had been raped multiple times just a few months before we met. She was expecting me to just walk out when she told me, and even said she wouldn't hold it against me if I did because it's a lot to deal with, but I didn't even hesitate to say "Alright, well I'm here for you now." I just felt like this girl just needs some compassion and I knew I wanted to be the one who gave it to her.
Not like I'm trying to be some kind of knight in shining armor or anything, it's just how I was raised: a man stands by his woman no matter what. And between the rape and a serial cheater ex-husband and a violently abusive dad she's had so many horrible men in her life I feel like she deserves someone good for once.
It hasn't been easy. I can think of a few times where I've reached to touch her face and she flinched because for a split second she thought she was going to get hit. She used to have night terrors almost every night and wake up screaming. I can't completely explain it but I've adapted to how she sleeps so I always wake up 5 minutes before a night terror starts, so I can wake her up before it gets too bad. It's been several months since the last episode, and she says it's because she just feels safer now.
Look, rape is a fucking bastard to deal with for the victim especially but also for their loved ones. The way I see it it's not your job or even your place to try to fix them. Only they can fix themselves, your job if you care about them is to be a constant source of support and strength while they do that.
>>16959526
They be like smoove (what?)
Can you teach me how to cuckie?
You know why?
'Cause all the bitches love me (aye)
All I need is a beat that's super bumping
And for you, you, and you to back it up and dump it!
Put your arms out front, lean side to side
They gon' be on you when they see you hit that cuckie right
Ain't nobody fucking with my bro from morning side
He go by bubba and he hit that dance like thunder
I ain't from Dallas but I d-town boogie
I show my moves off, now everybody tryna do me
I leave the function and all the ladies tryna screw me
Now you just do you and I'm a do me (all day)
Niggas love to hate so they try to screw me
Bitches be stuck to me, I think they tryna glue me
I make the party shine bright when it started glooming
This beat was bubble gum so I had to chew it
Teach me how to cuckie
Teach me, teach me how to cuckie
Teach me how to cuckie
Teach me, teach me how to cuckie
All my bitches love me
All my, all my bitches love me
All my bitches love me
You ain't fucking with my cuckie!
>>16958920
You know, if you had borrowed someone elses car and it got fucked up, they'd still be mad at you if you left it in the middle of a ghetto, because you were being irresponsible. Even when something morally isn't your fault, people will get sick of your shit real quick if it's something that affects them and you act careless about it. If nothing else, it's hard to feel very attached to someone who keeps doing pointless dangerous shit. A lot of women can't even handle dating guys with jobs where they risk coming home dead or crippled and that's despite them taking efforts to minimizing the risk.
