I am a girl from Canada. A week ago, I realised that I was selected for a three-week exchange trip to Germany. I have an online friend whom I've been talking to for more than 2 years and he lives in Munich. My uni does not offer any exchange opportunities to Munich so I picked Berlin , but I plan to stay behind and travel to Munich and other German cities later on.
My parents are thinking about joining me after visiting Berlin. I think it is awkward if they come along when meeting an online friend. I don't have any German friends irl, so I cannot lie about how I know him irl. I can't even lie about how I met him as an exchange student at my uni in Canada. My dad went to the same uni as me and he can easily tell that I am lying if he sees my online friend irl and my online friend cannot describe my uni. My parents had a "no talking to people" rule when I was a kid.
What should I do to make this less awkward?
You're a fucking college student. Develop a backbone and just go see your friend. You don't have to discuss it with your parents; inform them of your plans and if they want to come with have them delay or change plans so you can spend 1 on 1 time with your friend.
You are omitting valuable information.
Are you trying to fuck this random German dude whom you've never actually met before?
If yes, then you are right to be worried about your parents reaction because you are literally flying across the world to go hop on some dude's dick.
If no, you have nothing to worry about because you are in college and this is just a random friend you've talked with for awhile that you finally wanted to put a face to and meet up with to talk about life.
I suspect you are trying to fuck this German boy, or it wouldn't be awkward in any way, shape, or form.
>>16955672
Tell them you meet in Berlin while you were there with school and you clicked, and he invited you to see Munich before leaving.
>>16955687
Seems awkward and my parents will assume that I am interested in getting laid when I am not
>>16955688
>Are you trying to fuck this random German dude whom you've never actually met before?
Of course not
It's just that my parents have a strict "no online friends" rule when I was a kid. I remember they banned from using the web for a week when they saw me chatting to people on a forum when I was 12.
>>16955691
I think you got things messed up.
>>16955706
Okay... you were 12 then. Presumably you are at least 18 now.
Just be fucking honest with them and let them know you have absolutely no interest in pursuing anything romantic with this guy (and fucking mean it too, don't pull that "oh one thing just lead to another" bullshit once you actually meet up with the guy).
Meet up with him with some other students from your group if you have to.
There are easy ways around this, even with restrictive parents. The only exception being if you are even entertaining the notion that meeting with this guy could AT ALL lead to ANYTHING else. Don't betray your parents trust, and they will have no reason to betray yours.
Anon you're a grown-up. Your parents can tell a 12 year old not to chat with strangers on the Internet, they can't forbid a 20 year old from meeting a friend she's been talking to for 2 years.
Just tell them you'll be meeting a friend in Munich, that he's just a good friend, whatever. If really necessary make it clear that you're not meeting him for the dick carousel but that should be none of their business anyway.
>>16955713
My parents are super protective, especially my mom.
>>16955735
I'm not going to fuck him, geez.
>>16955740
Make it clear to your mother you have ABSOLUTELY no interest or intention to do ANYTHING romantic with this guy, even kiss on the cheek, etc.
As long as you make your intentions clear, and follow through with your promise, there is no reason why your parents wouldn't be okay with it.
They might be hesitant, but that is too be expected because this is some random asshole in some random country that wants to fuck their daughter (whether their daughter realizes/acknowledges that is another story entirely).
You frankly strike me as rather clueless/sheltered and probably think this guy has only been talking to you because he takes a genuine interest in your intellect or actually wants to be friends.
Oh you poor, sweet, summer child.
>>16955672
Just tell them the truth JESUS CHRIST
are you also a virgin, girl from Canada ?
Well you should definitely go for the chance to meet up. Not only is Munich a beautiful city (even more so if you've got a native showing you around), but it is worth pretty much to get to know online friends in person.
Just know that - especially with cross gender friendship - there's a pretty good chance he actually might make a move. Chances raise exponentially when you're doing stuff like sleeping at his place. If you really want to go sure nothing like that happens, meet up with him for a few hours each day max, don't go to his place, don't let him come to where you're staying.
After all, you want to see some of Munich, not any generic home.
>>16955753
Ok ok my friend doesn't really live in Munich by an area around 2 hours drive away from Munich. He always goes to Munich though.
I will probably stay at a hostel. I am not brave enough to stay at his house.
>>16955747
I think he just thinks of me as a friend. I mean, we have never met irl. I mean, I don't have feelings for him. Surely it is possible for him to be like that as well?
>>16955751
Yeah I am a virgin.
>>16955765
You mean you're smart enough not to.
It's not about sexual violence, it's about the chance of it ruining your friendship.
Where does he come from exactly and what's he doing in Munich? Just being curious.
>>16955777
>it's about the chance of it ruining your friendship
I know this may happen, but are the chances of this happening very high? I will probably only meet him for 1 - 3 days before visiting other places in Germany.
>Where does he come from exactly and what's he doing in Munich?
He is from a small town with a lot of potheads. He goes to Munich to visit his brother who is studying there, for excursions at school (he is still in high school), and to attend events such as comic cons.
Does it really seem dangerous? Most likely I will stay behind with some people who are selected for the exchange trip (but I don't know who they are - everyone got an individual email with no details about the other people).
Also, why does /adv/ seem relatively pessimistic about these sorts of stuff? Or is it me being overly optimistic?
Enjoy the Muslims.
>>16955774
>Surely it is possible for him to be like that as well?
Surely. It is also possible you are a naive dipshit of a woman who genuinely doesn't understand males.
It is also possibly you DO understand exactly what EVERYONE in this thread is warning about, yet you don't care or take pro-active steps to prevent it because you are interested in him yourself but don't want to acknowledge that because it means admitting to yourself a capacity for promiscuity and a betrayal of your parent's trust.
>>16955765
>I will probably stay at a hostel. I am not brave enough to stay at his house.
>probably
>implying if you were "brave enough" you would sleep at this dude's house whom you've never met before IRL and NOTHING SEXUAL AT ALL FOR SERIOUS GUYS
This is telling, and far too blatant. I feel sorry for your parents that you are willing to jump through so many mental gymnastics to justify a potential romance across the damn world.
You are going to go to Germany, and you are going to betray your parent's trust but convince yourself it just happened and you went it with no intentions for it to happen. I'm not going to sit here and be a "yes man" to your shit decisions.
>>16955787
You are being overly optimistic and blatantly naive.
Not everyone on /adv/ is a high school aged brat and some of us have been around the block a few times. You can stick your head in the sand all you want, we've been honest with you.
>>16955801
I am not stupid, ok? I've seen threads here where people ask about whether an online friend of his/hers like him/her back and people respond that the chances are "no" as they've never met irl.
I will not stay in his house or even visit his town. Munich is a famous city and I since I am going there, I am going to meet him anyway.
>>16955804
>blatantly naive
Yeah I guess so. Maybe a bit too innocent. But you know, I am not the type of person interested in partying and getting drunk and going to bars and getting laid. My online friend said that he is the same.
So... should I not meet him?
>>16955787
Thing is: For him it'll feel like you flew around half the world to meet him. Even if not that, he'll feel like you travelled from one end of Germany to the other just to meet him. And for Germans, these 1000km are quite a distance, I assure you. Especially rather young ones...
So either take every chance to show you're not interested in him and be proactive about it. Or accept the risk he's going to hit on you.
>>16955810
>I am not stupid, ok?
Could have fooled me with the quality of your posts.
>I've seen threads here where people ask about whether an online friend of his/hers like him/her back and people respond that the chances are "no" as they've never met irl.
FUCKING TOP KEK.
THIS IS YOUR GOD DAMN EVIDENCE YOU ARE CITING?
ANECDOTAL THREADS ON FUCKING 4CHAN?
AS DEFINITIVE EVIDENCE OF PRECEDENT FOR NATURAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR?
You're right, you aren't stupid. You are fucking retarded. I can't even fathom this right now, I'm fucking flabbergasted that you are really this god damn dumb.
Have fun fucking your German friend. I'm done with this thread, what a waste of time.
>>16955817
Yes I know that Canada is very far away from Germany. Yes, I am also studying German because I can practise with him, and no, it's not because I like him. I want to pick a new language that I have someone to practise with and it's not like I have any friends from Spain, Japan or Korea. And yes, I understand that he may misunderstand me.
So... should I not meet him at all?
>>16955814
>Maybe a bit too innocent.
No, that isn't the word I used. I would've used that if I thought you were innocent. I think you like to think you are innocent, which is different.
>I am not the type of person interested in partying and getting drunk and going to bars and getting laid. My online friend said that he is the same.
Not all of those things are mutually exclusive, you can be a quiet German boy who pot/comic-cons and still want to fuck the Canadian girl who has been talking to you for years and is now traveling around the world to meet you.
I think, again, you are being naive about how easily the situation could turn romantic. Perhaps intentionally so because to acknowledge the truth would be hard on you.
>So... should I not meet him?
If you want to pursue a romance with him (which I don't think you are nearly as against as you initially tried to imply) then sure, why not?
Slut it up.
However, if you want to just maintain your friendship as pen pals then continue to do so.
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
>>16955822
>I am also studying German because I can practise with him
>and no, it's not because I like him
CAPTAIN, THE DELUSION LEVELS ARE OFF THE CHARTS!
You are flying around the world to meet him, are learning a language to speak to him, were considered the option of staying at his house despite not knowing him, and want to convince your parents to approve.
Sorry, but this is just too... ridiculous.
>>16955832
>were considered the option of staying at his house despite not knowing him
No, that is a big no. I will never do that. It is just too dangerous.
I didn't learn it because of him. I learn it because it was convenient for me to do so. I tried learning Russian but it was more difficult than German.
>>16955830
He doesn't smoke weed (at least he says so). He says he is not interested in fucking/hitting on girls at pubs and he doesn't have a crush on anyone at the moment.
I am not stupid enough to lose my virginity to someone in another continent. Also, I think rumours will spread if this happen between me and him, even if we just left the group for a day to visit attractions without anything sexual at all.
Just seems like a waste of opportunity not to meet him irl though.
>>16955832
Actually, only a few of the trips that I am eligible for at my uni that are heavily subsidised is this one to Berlin. And this Berlin trip offers the best deal.
Tbh I didn't thought of staying behind to visit other places in Germany at first. I only thought about meeting my online friend when my dad said that I should probably stay behind and see more of Germany. Munich is famous, so I might as well go there, online friend or not.
>>16955851
>>16955848
I've voiced my opinion, chica. I'm not hashing this out with you any further. Delude, deny, and lie to yourself all you want. You've received your answers multiple times over, they just weren't the ones you wanted.
I can't convince you not to make bad decisions if you are going to go out of your way to come up with every reason under the sun to justify why you should make said bad decision.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
>>16955861
>I can't convince you not to make bad decisions
I understand. I am in charge of my decisions.
Questions is - is meeting him worth it? Just spending a day or 3 romantically or not WITHOUT any sex. Is it worth it? In the short run? In the long run? For my experiences? For my reputation? Will I be judged for it?
>>16955870
>is meeting him worth it?
Not particularly, but you seem to be convinced.
>Just spending a day or 3 romantically or not
Sigh, now you are again moving the goal posts and admitting the capacity for a romantic relationship with this guy. I DEFINITELY can't help you if you are going to sit here and fucking lie to me.
>Is it worth it?
No, long distance relationships NEVER work and you'll always be the slut that ran off to fuck the foreign kids during the study abroad session (even if you didn't but if you are willing to lie about your romantic interest in the guy to us, I'm hesitant to believe you are adamant on this no sex thing.)
>In the short run?
Nope, you will just sabotage a friendship you seem to value.
>In the long run?
Not only will you lose a friend, you will have gained a reputation of promiscuity among your peers (and parents). Congrats.
>For my experiences?
Uh, no. Studying abroad is the experience, not being loose with some random German guy.
>For my reputation?
Again, as long as you don't care that people think you were the girl fucking all the foreigners during study abroad.
>Will I be judged for it?
OF COURSE.
I've never felt such a mixture of anger and sadness on /adv/ before. I want to believe you are just young and naive, which makes me sad at how ignorant you are of the reality of this situation. What I'm beginning to believe is that you only came to /adv/ to get a pat on the back and are willing to lie to deceive us to create the perception you are some innocent pure dove of a girl who is unjustly persecuted by her parent's oversight.... which makes me fucking angry at your attempted manipulation.
I've now answered your questions, and you have sufficient annoyed me with this bullshit bait and switch. Congrats, and again good night.
Do whatever the fuck you want, I don't care anymore. Your moral compass is all kinds of fucked up.
>>16955870
>Is it worth it
that depends on your online friendship :)
how interesting is he to you ? how frequently do you communicate, etc. If he is just some random dude you happen to know from some forum then no lel unless you want the D
>>16955888
>Not particularly, but you seem to be convinced.
Well I just want to meet an online friend I've been chatting to for 2 years irl. Everyone wants to meet their online friend at some point. Can it be any different? Like just meet the guy with other group members around and say goodbye after a quick lunch?
I know long term distances do not work 100% of the time. I TRULY value the friendship, but friends are not real if you don't meet them irl, right?
>>16955903
>Like just meet the guy with other group members around and say goodbye after a quick lunch?
This is the smartest suggestion you have made all night. Maybe you actually are reading our posts, chica.
>>16955907
That was originally what I intended... Or maybe he can be a tour guide for the entire group but maybe my group members will not want that.
I mean, if I suddenly leave and said goodbye to the group, people will just assume that I want to get laid and I don't want that lol.
So I can meet him irl without things fucking up, right? I mean, I just want to turn an online friend into someone I've really met irl.
>>16955896
We talk together every day.
>>16955914
>So I can meet him irl without things fucking up, right?
No guarantees but if you meet him at lunch with other friends present and you DO NOT, I REPEAT... DO NOT, SPEND ANY TIME ALONE WITH HIM. You will have the best chances of meeting him and not ruining your friendship.
The fact you guys talk daily really doesn't help your "I don't want a romantic relationship" argument either. Even if you aren't willing to acknowledge it, he CLEARLY thinks something exists between the two of you.
DON'T DO ANYTHING TO FEED THAT NOTION LIKE SPENDING TIME ALONE WITH THE DUDE, HOLY SHIT.
You profess to be smart, so act smart.
All I ask is that you please don't sit here and lie to me saying if you hung out alone for multiple days it would be strictly platonic without so much as hand holding.
I'm unwilling to advocate trying to convince your parents meeting him is worthwhile if you genuinely think there is even the capacity for romance between the two of you. As I'm personally strongly against lying to family. Even a lie of omission is a lie.
>>16955925
>DO NOT, SPEND ANY TIME ALONE WITH HIM
Tbh that seems a bit dangerous anyway (certainly in another country that is not my own).
>All I ask is that you please don't sit here and lie to me saying if you hung out alone for multiple days it would be strictly platonic without so much as hand holding
What?
>Even a lie of omission is a lie.
Yes I have read that in a book.
>>16955931
You have your answer, don't be a cunt.
>>16955938
Ok.
Well, I NEVER said I want to meet him ALONE. You guys are the one who misunderstood me.
go to berlin, but first leave a pregnancy test on your bed at home for them to find.
when your parents come and meet you in germany, they will be confused. probably thinking you have a bf in canada, and more trusting of you while you're in germany.
when you get to munich, ask them what's wrong, why have they been acting funny
when they tell you they found the pregnancy test kit. act all indignant and mad that they went through your room, and storm off mad.
they will feel guilty and let you go.
hook-up with the old stalker dude you've been sexting, and decide where to go from there.
the spare room in his basement isn't as bad as it looks, you'll get used to it.
>>16955925
wait why do people assume that this dude will fuck her lol what if she's ugly af and he's simply not interested ?
>>16955995
who said he'd fuck her? virgin on the black market is worth way more
