Help as a person
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I had terrible ADHD as a kid and was prescribed medication to help calm me down but also didn't fix some of my other issues like not having a filter or obsessively rifling through drawers so people found me off putting and bullied me as that quiet kid that did that weird stuff. I started to quickly outgrow those quirks in middleschool yet was still medicated too much and continued to be way into highschool. As a result I was socially inactive in highschool, not bullied anymore and had friends but rarely getting out. Now I'm a boring 21 year old with no longtime friends, fun stories of past experiences, or romantic experience what so ever.
Im just a boring person and while Im getting out more now and having fun like a normal person its still hard to compensate. I missed out on my teen years and am a virgin as well. The only things keeping people from realizing how dull I am is a friendly and excitable demeanor, and having niche hobbies while also being open to new things. Its hard to get out there and meet people when your personality is an awkward but fun outgoing guy but really youve spent years as a introverted video game geek and have has less fun experiences than most people around you.
>>16955594
I really appreciate you sharing your experiences with us. It sounds like you are starting to create some good memories involving other people, and really, it's better late than never when learning to become social! For some people, it is indeed a learning process, and you seem to be willing to explore your options which is how new friendships are discovered. It is also healthy to be able to spend time content with yourself, so don't worry about being well adapted to going solo. Don't feel like you have to overachieve at friendship. It's just one of those things that, when it happens, at whatever speed or level of enthusiasm it happens, it is a good thing to hang onto. If other people can enjoy your company and relate to you in some way, and you also enjoy being around them, then it is all worth the effort for sure.
>>16955594
It may be reassuring that you are not alone and not especially far from the norm.
The very, very complicated and subtle rules of social interaction are learned largely in the teen years, with the horrible-for-everyone complication that you have to learn while doing - you are immersed in the games you're expected to be expert at even while you're trying to figure them out.
EVERYONE struggles through that. Some are lucky enough to learn the rules quicker than others and therefore SEEM more adept. But trust me, they're treading water as fast as they can, trying to stay afloat.
There is no question that you are now behind the curve just because you weren't part of the games at all as a teen. But so is everyone who wasn't a social success at 15, and that's a lot of people.
Fortunately, accelerated catch-up learning is not only possible, but relatively easy. You already see that friendliness and having some skills people admire can carry you far. Build on them. Just keep practicing and learning.
