Ive been with my girlfriend for 2 months now and its starting to annoy me that she has no drive whatsoever. She has no drive to improve her life to or better her situation, she is even too afraid to talk to her boss about cutting her hours down. Whenever we go out or anything I have to plan everything and think of stuff to do otherwise we just watching tv. She also doesn't seem to like when I tell people that we are dating or taking pictures together (someone did that with my phone and she went through and deleted them all)
Its starting to make me even more mad that she has no drive. I have drive in that I want my life to be better and am not content with living the way I am forever. I thought being in a relationship ment you helped each other grow and have a better life, but she has no interest in making her life better and it drags me down.
I tried telling her before that I want her to start taking initiative on making plans for going out instead of just me all the time.
Am I in the wrong for being upset about this? How can I continue forward in this, I don't want to leave her but I don't want to get dragged down by her either?
It's only been two months.
Tell her what you told us.
If she flips, not a huge loss.
If she takes it to heart and gets off her ass, great.
In all likelihood it will just make her feel bad and she won't do anything about it. Leave her. If it's only been 2 months and your this annoyed about it, it's not going to work out. You're different kinds of people.
She sounds like a piece of shit, OP. You can't make her change she has to want to. Also, if she doesn't want pictures circulating of you together she's either embarrassed of being seen with you or has other guys on the side.
>>16954123
Ive been friends with her for almost a year before that, I knew she didn't have much drive but I thought that she would change for me. Its also pretty awkward since we both work together.
>>16954119
Well OP if you look anything like your picture and if she looks any better than you on the Attraction scale, I suggest you stay with her for now. However if she is annoying the fuck out of you, you need to talk to her about this. You need to not just have this talk once, but drill it into her head that this is how you feel. Not always by conversation, a lot of it can be done by actions.
I had a bf like that, he had only a few interests (5 or 6 topics of conversation only), dropped out of college for fast food job (so he wouldn´t have to live with his family) and had no interest in self-improvement, other hobbies, getting a good job or returning to school.
I couldn´t stand it so I broke up with him. He found a person that better suited him and I was free and not tied down by someone like that
>she also doesn't seem to like when I tell people we are dating
That should be a serious red flag right there. Why go out with someone if you're not OK with people knowing you go out with them?
>>16954138
>I thought that she would change for me
Are you fucking retarded? At least that attitude only landed you with a couch potato and not an abuser or a drug addict. Fucking christ. She's not going to change for you.
In the rare .5% of cases where that happens, she'd have to be like...unhealthy levels of crazy about you. And, she clearly isn't.
>>16954141
No on scale of attractiveness I am much more of a catch than her, not bragging or anything. She tells me that I am the best person she has been with but can't do anything for me.
>>16954143
Shes been stuck at the same job for 3 years doing the same thing and never advancing. The bosses tried to give her chances but she just said no, now they don't even associate with her at all. The bosses love me on the other hand and gave me 2 raises before I was even there for a year.
>>16954144
I told a guy at work that I was dating her and he said he didn't believe it. When I told her that she got mad and asked why did I even tell him.
>>16954152
I see now I was stupid for thinking that. She told me she left her last boyfriend because he was a child and a loser just worked at a fast food joint. I mainly thought because I used to be like her, stay inside and play videogames all day but when I started going to the gym which made me happy it changed me and I got tonnes of drive and motivation, I even became more social able.
>>16954168
That´s way worse than my experience. Not a good person to be with, OP. If you care, stay her friend and help her from distance. If you are not madly in love or anything, do yourself a favor and leave. You seem like a nice person and you shouldn´t be responsible for someone like that and those people can get dependant fast.
>>16954187
It seems like signs are pointing to that, I hate to make her upset and cry but I can't let it drag me down to what I was.
