I have multiple personality disorders and because of this I never want have children. Both sides of my family have disorders too, so the likelihood of it being passed on to my offspring is high. Most of my friends and family tell me it's a dramatic decision and that I'll end up changing my mind the older I get.
Anyone else feel this way? Does it cause a strain in long-term relationships? Any parents who learned how to cope and deal with it while raising children?
I'm pretty set in stone about not having children, to the point where I'm planning on getting my tubes tied. I figure if I end up wanting children I can adopt.
>>16954118
Same. My mothers side of the family are made of fucked up sociopaths and there are numerous suicides. My fathers side had an advanced intellect, my grandfather was apparently known for memorizing books and retelling entire stories throughout a few days or weeks to children with complete accuracy.
That resulted in me, a not quite average but not quite genius person with a variety of mental issues.
I would be a terrible, terrible, terrible father. I wont get a vasectomy since I won't be having sex with anyone anyway.
So yeah. I feel you OP. I was an accident anyway, quite literally unplanned and unknown until six months in.
>>16954130
I was an accident too. I have a loving mother and stepfather (mom struggles with depression, was really abusive when I was younger) and my bio dad was out of the picture for a majority of my life, but he has OCD and bipolar.
I seemed to get the worst of all the disorders along with shitty eyesight and asthma and shit, so passing that on to a kid sounds really awful. I can only imagine how heinous it would be to have a manic episode and want to leave the house and be by myself for a couple of days while being responsible for a kid.
I defiantly have some maternal instincts, but taking care of another uman being when I'm hardly able to take care of myself sounds terrifying...
Everyone always says you're never %100 ready to have a kid, but I truly believe I'll never ever be capable of taking care of one.
ALSO not being on meds while pregnant/dealing with extra hormones while pregnant could literally kill me. Most shcizo/bipolar medication can't be taken while pregnant.
>>16954118
ITT: People who have no clue what they're talking about.
You don't have multiply personality disorders. "Sociopath" isn't a thing.
>>16954173
Shitpost on /a/ pls :^)
>>16954156
To be honest I'm not even worried about that. I used to have supposed manic episodes when they put me on latuda, geodon, risperdal, klonopin, but apparently it was just anxiety so severe I could stay up for days on end no problem. Ended up changing my diagnosis, not to much avail though, geodon actually helped compared to the other shit and this new anti-anxiety.
I think part of me just doesn't want that responsibility, which I don't think is criminal either. If I can't provide a really nice life for my kid, if I can't provide them the support a parent should, and if they have a risk of ending up as fucked up as me, not happening.
>not being on meds during pregnancy
You can't get pregnant with a peepee unless you do some kind of placenta attachment to your intestine anon.
>anal birth
Oh God
Anyway
What do you do about the other "personalities"? They wanted to diagnose me with that because of my lapses in memory months on end, but they haven't seen Jack yet. Jack only comes out when shit hits the fan. In which case, they thought it was an attempt to deal with past trauma. Whenever something really bad happens, I'd just black out, be extremely quiet, and at times take extreme action towards an end, some occasions involving violence.
Is there any hope anon? Any aspirations you have?
>>16954196
I am female, so pregnancy is a thing for me!
I just roll with it. I've been getting better at being able to tell when I'm having an episode and I can tell the people around me that so they can avoid saying things or being surprised that I'm being crazy. For a while my voices were pretty mellow and the conversations they had weren't scary or mean in any way, but earlier this week I had a really bad experience to where my main voice got super aggressive and sent me to a plave where I hadn't been in a long time. I black out too, start disassociating and doing stupid shit to get rid of the noise.
Aspirations? Not really. Start school I guess. I don't like planning very far ahead in my life because I always end up disappointing myself. What about you Anon? How do you cope with it?
you can be a fine parent if you are in a system, provided your system is stable and nobody in it is a raving lunatic and ground rules are followed.
>>16954196
If there was a board where people wanted actual help from psychiatric professionals I would be there, but alas, there isn't. I am one.
You don't have multiple personality disorder. You just don't. It's rarer than finding a diamond growing in your asshole and if you really had it you wouldn't be able to function enough in society to even think about whether it would be a good idea to have kids.
I'm not one of these people but I know a few who are.
Your best bet is to find someone who also doesn't want to have kids. You could also compromise and adopt a child if that is something that is okay with you.
More and more people aren't raising kids, and it's becoming more socially acceptable to do so.
This is a decision a couple has to make together, and it shouldn't involve anyone else. Having a child when you don't want one due to social pressure is not gonna turn out well for the kid in most cases.
>>16954227
You're schizoaffective. You, again, don't have multiple personality disorder.
>>16954253
Even if I do have a system, what happens if I have an episode and intentionally fuck it up? That's the scary thing about it is that even if everything is seeming to work out perfectly, one bad day can set me off and ruin everything. Of course it won't be ruined forever and as long as I have people around me who support me, but it will probably fuck up the child. Having to see their parent repeatedly succumb to these demons and bad episodes. I can't help but think of the worst that could happen because it happens a lot. The mood swing are so intense and sudden that it's not unrealistic to imagine it happening with a child on the picture. It would probably happen more because of the added stress.
>>16954276
>>16954269
You must be a very profound professional to be able to diagnose people without having met them.
>>16954227
Ah, well you've been typing sincerely by the looks of it, so I'll take your word for it. Most of the time its a neck beard pretending to be a girl for attention on /a/, /r9k/, /b/, /v/, /vg/, you get the idea.
Roll with it eh? Every time I start dissociating I do a lot of crazy shit to bring myself out of that haze, that mental fog. I hate it. The first time my head was clear was when I took geodon, then I realized up until that point I had been dissociating, and on autopilot, then when I went back into the haze I almost flipped a shit and destroyed everything around me. I felt it wasn't fair that everyone was living life. It was like I was seeing everything for the first time. The trees looked beautiful, peoples faces looked so much more clear, it was quite amazing to have a clear head without music or voices playing through it.
I used to cope by doing lots of drugs. Then I tried food (obviously a bad idea), then music (ends up making it worse), then boxing (just ended up hurting myself), then exercise (also didn't help), and now?
Nothing. There is no coping method except my meds. I have no one to vent or talk to. I just keep my feelings to myself, my family isn't interested in that, as far as I know I just live with these people for now.
That's really rough though, but I'm glad you can roll with it. I guess, painting helps. A lot. Painting and listening to certain kinds of music. I'm a terrible painter but its still fun to just decorate a canvas with random patterns.
Aspirations...none anymore, all gone. I wish I could enjoy things. I wish I could just sit alone in my room and play cello. I don't want to be around people most of the time, much prefer being alone. Sorry for the wall of text.
Got a steam? I'll either be playing War Thunder or shitposting, just a forewarning I don't talk often after I get home from work.
>>16954274
>adoption
Never :^)
>>16954118
>I have multiple personality disorders and because of this I never want have children.
So which one of you actually started this thread?
My girlfriend is bipolar and manic depressive, she still thinks she wants kids.
God damn I love her but she would be an awful mother, it's already a rollercoaster of bullshit for me I can only imagine how a developing child would deal with the crippling alienation of loving someone with an unstable psyche.
>>16954274
Adoption has always been an idea I'm open to. It's still one I'm iffy about; I'd imagine if I do that it won't be until I'm in my 30's (and who knows if I'll live that long :^))))))
>>16954331
Painting is amazingly therapeutic. Walking/running (exercise in general), animals, working, video games, etc. Creating things helps a lot.
I smoke a lot of marijuana which has good and bad effects for psychotic people. Does wonders for sleep and anxiety, but it definitely can make hallucinations more believable and difficult to get out of. I smoke a lot when I'm manic to make the days longer. The worst thing about living with these things is how fast time can go by.
I do not have a Steam account unfortunately. My computer is much too slow to handle even The Sims. If you need an anon to talk with I will be up for a while.
>>16954292
>describes symptoms that relate to a specific illness
>says he/she has other illness that isn't described by the symptoms
>let them know they're wrong
Profound indeed.
It's like someone saying "I have a broken foot" and then describing it as "my neck hurts really bad" and a doctor coming into the thread and saying, no, you have a neck injury.
>>16954346
My internet personality.
>>16954355
Do you think you're stable enough to handle that if you do end up wanting kids with her? Even if I did want kids I'm sure I'd scare the father away.
>>16954374
I'm still not sure if I'm stable enough to be with her at all honestly. We've been friends for over a year and only been dating for 4 months but I don't know, I care about her deeply and starting a family with her in the future would be nice. If it were to ever happen it would be me taking care of the both of them. I have some issues too, nothing serious but enough that I could have an "episode" where I become extremely emotional, it's impossible to get any support, she's usually indifferent to how I feel.
>>16954358
>>16954374
Well that fucking sucks, but thank you I appreciate that a lot. Time goes by fast for you huh? Time goes by so slow for me when I'm aware of my surroundings, when my memory lapse comes on, when my head gets foggy again that's when time flies. Next thing I know, I look at the clock, 6 hours gone, at its worst, it was days. I spent days looking at my ceiling in Uni not drinking or eating anything.
I actually used to sell glass to random druggies at my Uni, smoked a lot of stuff from Washington, like you said it helped with the anxiety but the music in my head got a lot louder at times. Its been 4 months since I smoked now, had to stay clean for job apps and school.
Anon how have relationshits been for you? Part of me wants a friend or a lover but the other part just needs to be alone. I wish I could just hold someone and not have to talk. Just quietly enjoy the day with someone. No need for bull shit conversation. No need for extensive effort. Just a day like that. There was one girl I could have done that with but we don't talk anymore, she's gone on to an advanced pharma program and doesn't have time for me, even if she says she does or says she wants to listen I know better.
I'm so used to being alone and I don't know where the desire to have someone near me came from its new and really fucking annoying. Trying to kill it.
