How do you actually get a girlfriend?
>Get a girl's number
Fair enough
>Ask her out
Makes sense
>Go on actual date
This is where I have trouble.
Is the date supposed to be run-of-the-mill, or unique and memorable?
Where can I invite her that isn't boring as shit (eg coffee)?
What do we actually talk about for 1+hrs?
Am I supposed to entertain her and try to make her laugh?
Or is it enough to be nice and ask her questions and shit?
Is she judging me on fun factor, future career prospects, alpha-ness, sensitivity... what?
How do you make it feel like not an interrogation?
When do we set the 2nd date for?
What do we do for the 2nd date?
3rd?
When is she officially my gf?
You don't have to answer all my questions, just give me some guiding lights here.
You're overthinking it.
I'm assuming you're young, so going to the zoo or an amusement park are always fun first dates. No pressure to talk, you can just be yourself and enjoy the day together. I'm in my early 20's and still fucking love it if a guy takes me to those places.
For the second, third, fourth, etc. dates; play it by ear. Try to get to know her on the first date, and then pick something catered to her interests. If you still don't know what to do, pick something cliche i.e. movies/coffee/dinner.
Lastly, she's your girlfriend when you talk about it. Sometimes these things can go unsaid, but it's best to have a chat regarding the status of your relationship. Don't be autismo about it, just ask if she'd like to get more serious.
>>16953046
Just don't date.
>>16953060
>love it if a guy takes me to those places.
Opinion discarded.
>>16953060
>I'm assuming you're young
I'm 29 lol
Does that change your answers at all?
Maybe I'm too autistic or boring, but I can only imagine trying to fill in all those awkward silences and force jokes out of the limited material would get extremely draining and not fun.
>>16953060
>Lastly, she's your girlfriend when you talk about it. Sometimes these things can go unsaid, but it's best to have a chat regarding the status of your relationship. Don't be autismo about it, just ask if she'd like to get more serious.
So is the end goal of every date to find out more on the girl, upping the ante each date?
Or is it just to do random "fun" things and just hope things escalate? I have trouble with finding fun things to do partly because of depression and not liking going out in general. Should I even be dating in this state?
are you ugly or something? you're being a tryhard. take her literally anywhere and be yourself and that's it. if she wants to do it again, cool.
>>16953091
Fug your post made you sound like you were 16 or some shit, sorry man. I dunno, depends on the age of the girl you're taking out but I'd still find zoos and amusement parks fun decades from now.
Just don't think about impressing the girl. She'll likely know if you're forcing it. Talk about things you find funny/interesting, try to ask questions about her life/interests/future. Use FORD avoid RAPE, basic conversation skills.
>So is the end goal of every date to find out more on the girl, upping the ante each date?
Well, that's one of them. But the main goal should be to find out if you're compatible. Usually that's determined on the first date.
>Should I even be dating in this state?
Probably not, you should work on getting yourself sorted before seeking a relationship.
>>16953046
First dates aren't meant to be spectacular unless you've already been friends for a long time and done stuff like that before.
Coffee if you're underage, drinks if you're legal.
You have a conversation. If she laughs, that's great, but don't try to force funny. Don't interrogate her - show a non-judgemental interest in what she's saying, and ask questions based on what she says. Get to know her. First dates are designed as a 'get to know you'.
Generally speaking, if you want a second date you should text a girl the day or two after the first date saying you had a good time and want to see her again, with an activity and day in mind.
She isn't your GF until you've had the conversation 'what are we'? This only happens after you've hung out a lot, alone. There's not a set number but it's usually after the point at which you stop 'going on dates' and start just generally hanging out in your free time.
Not OP, but I have a similar problem
How should I handle intimacy in dates? Like when should I try to kiss her or whatever.
I hear of people having random hookups right after meeting and I don't fucking know what to do.
>>16953407
End of the date, I guess?
>>16953060
The fucking zoo? Jesus OP. This is why you never listen to women's advice about women.
Imagine asking an intelligent adult to go and look at animals in cages for fun. I'd fucking puke on her tits right then and there if she mentioned this crap.
Christ, why doesn't OP invite her to come around and watch him squat over the toilet bowl while he takes a shit?
You talk about life, work, school, friends, experiences, hobbies, families, maybe some views on world to see if you´re compatibile... for the boring stuff - music & movies
You can tell jokes, but not required to
Ask questions, but speak by yourself too. Girls don´t like ONLY monologue
Every girl judges different stuff...
Just don´t make it interrogation - talk about yourself, take tangents,
2nd date could be a week from 1st (ideally at least 2-4 days, most like 2 weeks)
think of something, research date places/ideas
At some point just ask her about meeting your friends or if you want to be more blunt what does she think about it all, or if she is wants to give it a real try (dating)... just don´t be too blunt about your insecurities and rules for relationship ("like I don´t trust girls" or "I expect the girl to...")
>>16953407
Hug when you meet her the first time, be playful and push her/touch her arm or hand during the date, kiss at the end if it ends well.
Obviously there is no specific formula, but that's the general guideline that I follow. Try not to act like too much of a friend; the more obvious it is that you're interested in her, the better chance of further escalation.
Not OP, and don't want to hijack this thread, but maybe someone else can enlighten me as well, a little bit.
I'm 24 years old now and still a virgin. I haven't been on many dates so far, but lately i'd been to 3 dates with that girl I already knew for some time but it's been about a month now when we met these three times. We went to a concert first, then to the movies as second date, and lately we just grabbed some coffee and later drinks. On all of these occasions we had no problem talking for 4+ hrs and I think we like each other. Well, I do for sure. ..we got to holding hands and a first kiss n stuff but I don't know what to do next in a way. I am very critical of myself.
She wants to meet up next week again, and I'm already really stoked about seeing her again, but I don't know what to do next in a way. Grab another drink n coffe? I dunno, seems like that may be boring again. Outside activities like a zoo aren't really good right now as it still is fairly cold and rainy where I live. Is it okay to invite her over to my place by now and just watch some movie and get some more private time outside of all these public places? We also text on a daily basis nearly. sometimes it's just a cute good night text or whatever. Everytime when I think to myself that I shouldn't text her, cause maybe she'd want a break of me "bothering" her she texts me.
Yet, I still feel insecure. I'm just low on self esteem right? I mean, things are going great, aren't they? I feel so unbelievably inexperienced in all that stuff...
tl,dr Had three rather innocent dates with this amazing girl (concert, movies, drinks). What to do next? Invite her over already?
>>16954103
Go for drinks - a nice bar or something, with a bit of privacy, maybe possibility of dancing?
Or if you´re feeling more intimate with her, invite her over for dinner & wine + a movie
>>16954099
>assuming anon is female
>being this buttmad about zoos
