There's this guy in one of my girlfriend's grad school classes who is acting suspicious toward her.
He would try to start conversations with her, mostly small talk. Recently, the professor assigned people to review random essays from other students and he was assigned her essay. Everyone would write a few sentences of advice, but he rewrote her whole essay. Then he sent her a emails about how he is always happy to be her confidant and that, if she ever needed anyone to guide her through her career path or simply needed someone to discuss life with, she should never hesitate to seek his counsel (he worded it like that). She didn't reply.
The other day, he caught her after class and asked her if she needed any more help with her essay. She said no and he went on for half an hour about his perspective on life, his philosophy on reinventing their field, and unsolicited career advice. Then he asked her if she wanted to go to his apartment so he could make dinner for her.
She wants to go because she thinks he's being really nice and helpful, and she doesn't want to burn a bridge. I think he's full of shit and he's trying to get with her. There's no way he would invite her over to make dinner for her if she was a man.
The thing is, this guy also has a girlfriend that he lives with. I maintain that this doesn't carry much weight since he's still coming on way too strong and it's outright uncomfortable to hear about. The way he words himself, rewriting her essay, insisting on helping her with life, wanting to make dinner for her... Girlfriend or no girlfriend, that's crossing the line. My girlfriend thinks I'm being too insecure, and I think she's being too naive at best. I've heard stories like these before and I know how they end.
Thoughts? Lighten up? Start putting together my OkCupid? Escape innawoods?
tldr Some guy who already has a girlfriend is coming on uncomfortably strong with my girlfriend and asked her to his apartment to make dinner for her. wat do
This is really weird. Whether it not be is trying to hook up with your girlfriend, I can't say, but he is certainly peddling something. Why the fuck would your girlfriend need 'counsel' from a peer? What are his professional accomplishments? Send like this guy had his head up his ass.
If he's cooking dinner for her and you're not invited then his girlfriend isn't going to be there either. Does he even know about you?
You're one meal away from getting cucked.
>>16952993
Tell your bitch she can meet him at a cafe or library but not a private place because you fear for her safety.
Because it is actually fucking dangerous for her to go to some random dudes house that she doesn't know.
>>16953009
Also this way she doesn't need to feel like she's burning a bridge. And she can't call you insecure. If she insists on going to his place after that then fuck that hoe
>>16952978
If your girlfriend respects your relationship she shouldn't go to another man's house alone and have dinner with him. If she disagrees she's either incredibly naive or wants to cheat on you.
It also sounds like he doesn't respect her if he literally rewrote her entire essay for her and is constantly telling her she can come to him for help.
Also about the burning her bridges comment, it might be that she sees fucking that guy as more beneficial to her in the long-term than her relationship with you.
It's hard to backtrack when she already thinks you're being protective.
But yeah, it sounds like your girlfriend hasn't gotten hit on enough. Being in college for a couple years has made me really wary of any man who starts giving me unsolicited positive attention.
This guy sounds like a pretentious fuck to me (rewriting something i wrote instead of making minor edits in wording would actually offend me) but your girlfriend sounds pretty charmed if she's willing to take his side rather than avoid an argument with you.
Try to find a way where you can get together, all four of you. Or he can come over to your place.
>>16953005
>Does he even know about you?
He does. I'm not sure how I came up in conversation, all she told me is that he knows I'm with her. He doesn't know anything else about me as far as I know.
>>16953009
I pointed out that a public place wouldn't be weird if he really is just trying to be friends. I was initially a bit put off by how "too" friendly he was being, but making dinner for her at his apartment is too much. Like I said, I have a hard time believing someone would offer that if it was a man
>>16952978
Is there a reason you can't just go with her? Make it a "double date" type of thing instead of just having her go alone? If the guy's got a live-in girlfriend this would not be weird, this is a pretty normal way for couples to socialize.
Invite yourself along. Assume it's all cool, be polite, have dinner, and leave it at that. But if he's reluctant to have you over, or worse if SHE'S reluctant to include you in the plan, then something's up.
>>16953040
>But yeah, it sounds like your girlfriend hasn't gotten hit on enough
You could be right. She's only had one other boyfriend aside from me (she was with him for 7 years) and that she's always dedicated herself to school and her career. That's why I don't think she has these malicious intentions, just naivete. I just want to make sure I'm not being too cynical by feeling affected by this
>>16953056
I could talk to her about that. I initially didn't bring it up because I didn't want to come off as strongarming my way between a friendship or coming off as overly protective, but the more I think about it, the more I think I should at least try if she decides to go there.
For what it's worth, she didn't give him an answer at the time and said she would think about it
>>16953064
>I didn't want to come off as strongarming my way between a friendship or coming off as overly protective
It really doesn't have to be. It's normal to want to meet your girlfriend's friends, it's even more normal to want to "chaperone" if your girlfriend is going alone to the apartment of a man you don't know.
It's gonna be tough to play it off casual if you've already grilled her a bit and made your suspicions clear. But really, if she's going, you should go too.
Sounds like this dude has his head up his ass and, for some reason, your girlfriend is entertaining it. Major red flag..
A guy doesn't just invite a girl over for dinner and to talk about schoolwork. And a girl doesn't just accept to go eat dinner and talk about schoolwork together. Something is up.
whatever the guys a creep, but your gf *ACTUALLY* wants to go to his house for dinner? Id be much more concerned about that, what the fuck type of girlfriend would be ok with that
>>16952978
The guys a creep, no questions about that
But why haven't you dug deeper into WHY she wants to go to HIS house?
That's continental sized red flag m8
>>169529789
I think you have a right to be concerned. Men and women try to setup foundations with other sex all the time; establishing corgial rapport with the other to persue as a potential love interest at later date. I cant say if this is your girlfriends intent, but It seems like it could be the others guy intent, at least in some regard.
It is potentally dangerous because they are seemingly laying in wait, waiting for you and the girlfriend to fight, argue, grow distant, only to then strike when there is a reversal of fortune.
If he has a gf and she has a bf, you, and yhey both know this, he should have invited both of you and made it a couples date. Anything else is a very sketchy.
