My best friend is an addict and I don't know how to handle her. She's been in and out of treatment several times and can't stick with sobriety. She doesn't live in my city, so I don't see her in person often, but she will always tell me I'm her only friend. Everybody else in her life gets really angry with her when she uses, and of course it's really upsetting to see her go through that, but I feel like I have to be nice and support her. She knows how tender-hearted I am and that I would be really disappointed seeing her use, but she sends Snapchats of herself super fucked up to 2 of my best friends. Meanwhile, I'm dealing with tons of stress in my own life, have been super depressed, and can't spend all my energy on her right now or I'll lose myself. I feel like I'm failing somehow. I don't know what to do or say with her. I am completely sober (I know addiction runs in my family so I don't fuck around with it), so I don't have a ton of experience with dealing with people like this. I just knows she lies to me about how she is doing all the time. I think it's because she knows I'll cheer her on if she does something constructive, so she just wants me to make her feel good about herself even though she's not doing well. I feel like if I am too harsh with her she will hide even more from me. We have been friends since we were young, and it's so hard for me to watch this and not know what to do. Does anybody have any advice for me and for dealing with addicts in general?
>>16947781
>My best friend
>She doesn't live in my city, so I don't see her in person often, but she will always tell me I'm her only friend
>Everybody else in her life gets really angry with her when she uses
>so I don't have a ton of experience with dealing with people like this. I just knows she lies to me
>Does anybody have any advice for me and for dealing with addicts in general?
Addicts are destructive users of people. They don't want to be but in the end they don't care so long as they get their next fix.
She's not your best friend. You're not her only friend... her only true friend, the one she'll do anything for.... is the drug she's addicted to.
The best thing to do with any addict is stay well away. No matter how much you think you are helping them, no matter how essential you feel it is to be a part of their life, it will always only end in pain.
The only addicts worth helping are those who have reached the point in their lives that they'll do anything to stop..... and have. Then they need everything you can give them to get them through the toughest phase of rebuilding their life.
Distance yourself from her. Let her know it's the addiction that's driven you away. Avoid all approaches that include promises of stopping and only respond when she says she's actually stopped.
Im 35 been an addict since I was 13. I have gone in and out of every drug addiction you can think of. I will probabley always use some type of drug the rest of my life on and off. Be there for someone only as long as you want to bc drug addicts are selfish .
She's said to me before that she really does appreciate me and that she's sorry that she's fucked me over before. She knows she'll do anything to get what she wants, and she doesn't want to but she can't help it. I don't want to hurt her because I know she really can't help it. I think I have enough distance from her since I hardly see her now, but I still feel like I'm the only one on her side. When we were closer in location she was with me all the time and stayed sober because I was sober. I feel like I was able to provide her a safe space back then. I know I can't control her actions, but I can't help but feel sad about it. I don't have many friends myself, so it's hard to see one of the few people consistently in my life go through this.
