My girlfriend, whom I've been with 1 year 7 months and 11 days, is a great person when you first meet her. She's kind and funny and a great friend but I'm worried she's just not a good girlfriend. I guess i will start with reasons i don't like our relatinship. She likes to make me change who i am if she doesn't like it. I was told to never let anyone change me because that's unhealthy. She smokes, which really gets on my nerves and causes burning in my eyes and throat. I deal with it because i love her but if i try to get her to stop she simply gets mad at me and it causes a fight. When it comes to fighting, it's always my fault and i always appologize. It isn't just a simply "sorry" or even a box of chocolates. Once she's in a bad mood it takes the right words at the right time to make her like me again and trust me that's hard. Fights have lasted a few days Max before and when she's mad at me, it feels like the universe is unbalanced and nothing feels right. She's a constant sex hound and at first i was too but as time ticked by I've felt less attracted to her. There's times here and there but i mostly just want to watch tv with her or talk about life. We've broken up several times throughout our relationship. Mostly in the begginingBecause her friends pumped her up but now it's pretty calm. We got back together because it's a mix of her making me feel bad by crying and me giving in and me just missing her companionship. I was told that its a toxic relationship and to get out of it but i don't know what to do. I've got more to type but this fucking text limit. Ask me for detail of you need more. I always forget when i type huge paragraphs
I was also told i won't leave because I'm scared to be alone. I honestly can't see a future with her and I'm scared to go further since i will be graduating and having the option to move in, which she will thrust on me. She's just the type of person to get encouraged by her friends to divorce me and talk half of my possessions. I'm scared to leave because she makes me feel bad and i get drawn in but i don't want to break it off with a few simple words then leave because i feel like something as serious as this deserves care and meaning.
Break up with her, do it in text if you can't deal with the crying and immediately block her on everything so she won't guilt you back into it. Avoid her at all costs and get out of it. You can't see a future with her i get that but there aren't futures for people like that. Their futures are built on the manipulation of others, such as yourself. She needed a crutch and you came in at the right time and now you're a wheelchair.
>>16947770
>She likes to make me change who i am if she doesn't like it. I was told to never let anyone change me because that's unhealthy.
That's kind of a shitty statement, because while you shouldn't try to change yourself to fit in with a group of people, you may be someone in need of change. A relationship is about give and take, so if you want it to succeed, you NEED to change certain things about yourself. If she's trying to change certain hobbies and interests, then that's something you should take issue with because that's a part of who you are. If she's trying to make you take better care of yourself (eat healthier, exercise, basic hygiene, etc) then she's looking out for your best interests.
>She smokes, which really gets on my nerves and causes burning in my eyes and throat. I deal with it because i love her but if i try to get her to stop she simply gets mad at me and it causes a fight.
Well, this is clearly something you're going to have to deal with if you want to stay with her, as stubborn as she is.
>When it comes to fighting, it's always my fault and i always appologize. It isn't just a simply "sorry" or even a box of chocolates. Once she's in a bad mood it takes the right words at the right time to make her like me again and trust me that's hard. Fights have lasted a few days Max before and when she's mad at me, it feels like the universe is unbalanced and nothing feels right.
She sounds manipulative as fuck, I know the type. It's not that she's angry at you, necessarily, but she will try to "punish" you for "wrongdoing."
>I'm scared to leave because she makes me feel bad and i get drawn in but i don't want to break it off with a few simple words then leave because i feel like something as serious as this deserves care and meaning.
She genuinely sounds like a terrible person. Do you think she would give you the courtesy of a few last words? Because I don't.
And no, this isn't someone you want to live with. Things will only get much worse.
>>16947770
You need to grow a pair and stand up for yourself. She knows just what to say to manipulate you into getting what she wants. You're a puppet, not a partner. Learn to value yourself, OP.
