I can't remember ever feeling "turned on" by either gender. No butterflies, no electric rush. But when I was in love with a woman (I'm male), I did feel turned on by her in the bedroom.
There's a few caveats: I like the cock. Let me emphasize COCK and not MEN. I know that many people don't accept the fluidity of sexuality, but I'm not here to make a political statement, just to say what I like. I don't really see myself in a romantic relationship with a man.
And I also like women. Not so much pussy (around 90% of the time), but women. I have, for sure, been in love with a woman before, but the sex felt lacking most of the time (sort of around when the love started to die). I've also had sex with a woman outside of a relationship, but it was only really stimulating for the first encounter. I am constantly noticing attractive women, although never feeling that spark. And therein lies the issue.
How do I maintain a relationship with a woman I may be emotionally invested in when the sexual factor may not be present?
Sure, I might get lucky and find an understanding girl that identifies in a similar manner, or maybe she's asexual doesn't need sex, or maybe she's polyamorous and thus could get sex somewhere else. But in the likely event where I fall head over heels for the next girl I meet, and we hit it off, how would this work?
I just find it hard to picture a scenario in which bringing up the issue doesn't kill the relationship.
OP here. Just to clarify...There is a term I found on the internet that I think applies to me: hetero-romantic homosexual, which means that I am romantically attracted to women, but sexually attracted to men (for all intents and purposes).
I know it may sound like I'm trolling, but there are people that identify as such, and I just wanted to put this out there before I get an endless barrage of 4chan
Your're gay.
>>16936379
Nope, I don't think gay guys fall in love with girls. Nice try, though.
>>16936406
Gay in denial.
>>16936258
You like some parts about guys but on the other hand you like some parts about women but you have a hard time developing relationship.
You're not a hetero-romantic grey gender two-spirit or whatever the fuck you found off of Tumblr. You're a guy who likes girls and guys but just haven't found a relationship yet that feel all in yet.
Don't make it complicated than it is. No need to heap all different kinds of "identities" onto a problem that's actually pretty common and straight forward.
I'm not looking for help in labeling myself. I'm very confident and clear in what I want and desire.
If someone could actually give me advice on the question I asked, that would be very helpful.
>>16936425
I understand how it sounds, trust me I do. But these "identities" are really just words. Instead of trying to describe every facet of my sexuality, I could use the words that have the appropriate definitions, like how the rest of the English language works. I don't mean for this to sound condescending. But I could have just as easily left out the part about men and said I was asexual, so that people might focus on the actual question I asked instead of belittling something they don't believe exists.
>>16936448
>If someone could actually give me advice on the question I asked, that would be very helpful.
I literally just did, but you're obviously not interested in advice you don't want to hear.
You have a problem that has nothing to do with what you identify as or what your potential partner identifies as.
Your sexual orientation and feelings about men and women have nothing to do with the question you asked yet you gave us two paragraphs of backstory about your "labels", so thats why we are bringing it up.
If you don't want advice about it, you shouldn't of brought it up as a relevant aspect of your story. The board is called ADVICE, after all.
Its simple. You like guys, you like girls, but you haven't found a relationship you feel both completely emotionally and physically satisfied with.
That's exceedingly normal, for EVERYONE, not just for weird Tumblr people like you. You want advice about bringing up the issues so it doesn't kill the relationship?
Don't bring it up. It isn't relevant. You're like the insufferable vegan who feels the need to mention it constantly. If the sexual factor isn't there in a relationship, find another relationship, because you and I both know its not viable to have a relationship thats emotional but not physical because for women its one in the same.
Its not a true relationship. Its just half of one, and you'd be hard pressed to start off a conversation with "Well, I really want to grow to love you but I won't be fucking you at all" and except that to pan out somehow.
Drop the labels, drop the worry and take your relationships one step at a time. When issues become relevant to the stage in the relationship, bring it up. Be honest. There's no way around that.
And if you come to /adv/ again, anticipate getting advice that you don't want to hear. We're not here to bolster your fantasies or spare your feelings. You want answers, then here you go. If you don't like said answers, then go figure it out yourself.
>>16936482
>>16936425
I do see your point. Sorry if I was kind of a dick. I meant for that first comment to be for that guy that was calling me gay. For the record, I was just trying to save time by using a label. Calling something a "chair" instead of describing its features.
All things considered, you have good advice.
Thank you
>>16936280
Why do you feel the need to label yourself, anyway? Just say "I like who I like" and leave it at that. Much less stressing that way.
Hook up with a trap, duh
>>16936476
Nigga you sound like those fucks on tumblr when you use those words. No one will take you seriously when you spout that shit off
Date a feminine trap. Problem solved.
>>16936258
LOW TEST
My boyfriend likes cock and I like pussy op. We love each other and have been together for years. Sometimes I even wear a strap on for him. I openly date women while he openly dates men. I don't really think what your describing is particularly unusual. I'm certain if you told a girl your sexuality she probably wouldn't mind. Idk if that helps op but theirs all sorts of people on the rainboe spectrum of sexuality. I hope you find love and peace.
>>16936258
