How do I stop caring about scantily clad women all over the fucking place? Even pixels upset me (pic related). My fiance browses /v/ often, and we live in a fairly small apartment together.
We spend most of our spare time together, thus I see things like pic related on a regular basis. It bothers me. How do I start being okay with it? How do I get over all of it? It's straining our relationship.
Please offer any insight or opinions. Even if it's to tell me to get over myself and my bullshit, sjw, vicitimized female ways.
I want a brain transplant at this point. It's all bullshit, and what's worse is that I'm convinced the amount of exposure to attractive and scantily clad women these days is unnatural.
>>16935658
bump...
>>16935658
Last fucking bump even though I don't think it's actually bumping.
>>16935658
I don't think you can stop being bothered - there's a good reason to, you're indirectly comparing yourself to them. Since, obviously, 99% of women are less attractive (to the average man) than the common portrayal of women in the media, it's just an exercise in frustration.
You are justified in being upset. In fact, you are always JUSTIFIED in being upset - to a large degree, you don't control how you feel. That's not to mean, though, that you are ENTITLED to a change in his behavior, just because it makes you upset.
Honestly? Just talk to him about it and mention it bothers you. Don't suggest "solutions" (see "begin entitled" above), but if he cares about you he'll suggest something
>>16935658
Two sides to this.
As you realise, it is not reasonable to expect your fiance to shield his eyes from any skin. Men enjoy looking at attractive, scantily-glad women, and that's as natural as it gets. This is harmless biology and is not affected by their being in a monogamous relationship.
However! If he's aware of this sore spot and continues to regularly leave the objectionable imagery lying around for you to encounter, he's being a bit inconsiderate. I think it would be reasonable to request that he keep it private to some degree.
Either that, or do the opposite. Set your desktops to gorgeous hot sweaty shirtless musclemen, and see how he reacts. If he's uncomfortable with it, it will help him see how you feel. If he's cool with it, it might help change your own viewpoint too.
That's about the best I can offer, anon. Hope you get this sorted!
The way I deal with it is I just lez out.
When my boyfriend scrolls through instagram I can see all the models he follows. Instead of feeling threatened or resentful I actually take time to appreciate the beauty of those women and sometimes I even compliment his taste. My boyfriend and I check out hot chicks together. Putting myself in his shoes in this way makes me realize if I can appreciate a sexy woman without actually trying to fuck her then why can't my boyfriend? He also doesn't seem to mind if I talk about guys I find hot too although he doesn't join in because he just isn't gay enough I guess. Would be cool if he was but the point is we are people and we can appreciate other people without jeopardizing our loyalty to one another.
>>16935658
>exposure to attractive and scantily clad women these days is unnatural.
but the pic in the op is a girl? like 13 years old?
>>16935716
He's suggested he never look at anything like that around me, and we've tried that, but it doesn't work. We're around one-another often.
He has said he'd rather have me than porn or anything else related, if he had to choose. I say an ideal world would be one in which he could have both.
I want him to have the freedom to do what he wants. You're right though, I do compare myself to him. I'm not bad looking, but I'm not pixelated perfection either.
Is there no happy medium? I don't want to continue this bullshit, as it feels really immature and I'd rather be the type of woman who can 'handle' her SO's attraction to other women at all times.
>>16935658
>How do I start being okay with it?
You need to understand that a man's fantasies/masturbatory habits have nothing to do with you.
Just because he browses pictures of cute girls or is even routinely attracted has nothing to do with the fact that despite still having fantasies and a sex drive he has made the decision to get married and spend the rest of his life with you.
Men are visual creatures, we masturbate, we lust, we fantasize, but you can't compare it to yourself because you don't get off the same way he does.
It doesn't matter what he looks at online or what he masturbates, it matters what he does. If he treats you with respect, if you have a healthy relationship with you and he has healthy boundaries with the real life women in his life then you are perfectly ok.
That's what you need to keep telling yourself; he is perfectly ok. He may look, he may fantasize, he may browse porn/content online of women that you perceive have things you don't but he has dedicated himself to you.
You are the one he chose and that he continues to choose. This is what you need to focus on. Let him have his fantasy world, us men have and always will masturbate and browse whether we're in a relationship or not.
Just focus on the important things; this isn't an important thing.
>>16935716
>>16935743
I do compare myself to them* not him.
>>16935732
>Either that, or do the opposite. Set your desktops to gorgeous hot sweaty shirtless musclemen, and see how he reacts. If he's uncomfortable with it, it will help him see how you feel. If he's cool with it, it might help change your own viewpoint too.
He's suggested I do that. I don't have much of a desire to, but maybe it's a good idea after all.
>>16935737
>Would be cool if he was but the point is we are people and we can appreciate other people without jeopardizing our loyalty to one another.
You sound like you have a solid relationship. I do find the female figure attractive, and my fiance and I have had spurts of talking about women together. These have resulted in not-so-great situations after which we have shut sex down completely for weeks...maybe I'm uncomfortable with my attraction to women?
Honestly, it's to a point where I've fetishized the idea and get off (regularly) to the thought of him fantasizing about other women...maybe I should try not to fight it.
>>16935739
She's a character in the game Dead or Alive. I'm definitely not 13 (27 actually), but yes she does look anywhere between 12-15--and my fiance has admitted this.
I'm not one to deny that men find females within that age range attractive (simple biology), and that's all kind of beside the point.
>>16935746
I like your words. Screen capping as a reminder to reflect upon in the future. Thank you anon.
>>16935658
My solution has been to adopt the following mindsets.
- Respect modesty. Scantily dressed people are *mostly* just shallow attention whores.
- Observe everything. Don't single out one type of thing. Anything that seems like it might be out of the ordinary, check it out. Old people with dogs. Fat people. Dudes on skateboards. Etc etc.. Doesn't have to be people. This way you are treating everything the same and not being judgmental.
- Begin to ignore general scantily clad women. If you come across an image with an exceptionally nice piece of ass, make sure you share it with your fiancé. I'm not kidding. And she should be comfortable sharing things she likes with you too.
>>16935852
Wrote this with assumption that OP was male and his fiancé was female. Sorry.
OP. How do you feel when you see photos of good looking guys?
>>16935658
I'm sorry for being part of all the DOA threads anon...
Leave him be you bitch.
>>16935658
>How do I start being okay with it?
He's never gonna leave you for one of those non existent video game girls. No matter how much it bothers you, just remember that they'll never be anything more than polygons/pixels on a screen. Like what >>16935746, just because he wants to look doesn't mean he wants to touch (not like he can in this case, but still).
