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Anonymous
2016-03-19 17:45:39 Post No. 16934888
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Anonymous
2016-03-19 17:45:39
Post No. 16934888
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Hey there /adv/
I believe I have some serious issues with myself, and I'm at a loss of what to do in order to fix it.
Over the past year I've been attending both a group therapy for aspies, and a personal psychologist. They all say I'm developing my social abilities greatly, and that I'm hardworking and all that shit. However, I can tell my personality has taken a turn for the worse, given that I admitted that, in order to calm myself, I'd have to "destroy" something, with the ill intent of inflicting pain on something or someone. The first thing that comes to mind is to burn anything, and the only thing keeping me from doing that is both the repercusions of the action, and the evil of it. Even when I go around on the street, if anyone bumps into me, it's getting harder for me to not lose my head and start a fight right there, like if my emotions went out of control on a burst.
Up until now, I've been on several friendships, comraderies, groups to perform any kind of hobby, and literally all of them have either failed me on betrayed me. That, wihout mentioning the horrific and dreadful time I spent on highschool before entering college, as the nerd of the class, and as an outcast. I've tried my best to be pleasant to the eyes of everyone, wihout success, since no matter how much effort do I put on anything, it only takes one moment to let it be crumbled by someone else's egoism. Given this, it's getting harder and harder to both trust those who say "I'll never betray you" or among those lines, and to hold my character of chill and calm in order not to fall on something similar to a self-destructive rampage.
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