I can't read. I can't play video games. I browse 4chan all day but I don't post, I don't enjoy memes, and I choke under the unceasing boredom. I have a 4.0 at my university and school is the only thing that can make me be productive for more than 10 minutes at a time. I lost all my friends because I didn't care about them and I was a jerk. I try to stay healthy by walking during the day, jogging at night, and getting a full night's sleep, but I still feel fatigued and unable to concentrate.
I don't feel lonely, I don't feel sad, I feel pretty okay most of the time, but god fucking dammit I just want to be able to have a few hours of the day where I can relax, read a good book, and just feel good. Instead my whole life is a tedious chore. Nothing stimulates me at all.
What can I do? Every time the docs tried treating me for ADD, they ended up giving me crystal meth pills that almost turned me into an addict.
Pic related is me 24/7.
>>16933611
>but god fucking dammit I just want to be able to have a few hours of the day where I can relax, read a good book
try doing this, give yourself at least 1 hr
>>16933620
Still feels like a chore. I inevitably stray into staring out the window, pacing around the room, or daydreaming. If I read a novel for school I can breeze through it in a day, take notes, and write a paper about it easily, but that's just work, it's not enjoyment. I have a whole backlog of books I'm interested in but every attempt to read just backslides into doing something else. It's the same with video games. Sometimes I want to just be a lazy gamer fuck, but I can't even do that either because I'm so uptight.
I should mention I have plenty of time to myself. My problem is that I can't make use of it in a way that pleases me.
Pomodoro method, but for fun, not for work
>>16933667
I tried it for work and it was interesting but I found that it didn't make me any more productive.
But...for fun? It's worth a try. It helped me get started working on days where I didn't want to work. It might help me get over that intial hurdle and finally into a space where I can relax.
Maybe you suffer from chronic depression, or some gland problem (thyroid?). Have you ever had yourself checked by a doctor or psychiatrist?
m8 you have some hormone imbalance or something fucked up with chemicals in your brain. You don't feel depressed but it's there, trust me. Get yourself checked for low testosterone as well.
also have you tried weight lifting? do something to release endorphins.
I used to be like you and the biggest sign was getting a ton of matches on Tinder but not giving a fuck.
Then one day I got a 1 week pass to the gym, tried it out. After my workout something happened and I just felt so damn happy and motivated, I messaged everyone on my tinder list and got 2 dates.
the following day I didnt work out and didn't give a shit about my dates, never bothered speaking to the girls again.
>>16933974
Did lifting any longterm improvements to you?
Have you tried meds for depression? They get a bad rep but was the only thing that worked for me.
>>16933611
what about scholarly pursuit ?
you sounds like me when I was in university except I played a lot of RPGs
Why would you go on ADD meds? Just try different things, for interactions with people, learn how to do it and in time, it will become natural.. People can learn to be different, it just takes time and a bit of effort.
Try new things - different sports, even calm ones, different genres of books, different events.. Even if you change hobbies every month, it´s something.
Even mindset about things can be changed. You can partially force yourself to be interested in something, faking it for yourself until it kinda catches on (like smiling to emulate good mood, which catches on after a while). Self-programming works if you give it a serious try.
And you can always try to do something creative, that may give it sense of purpose while enjoying..
Just BTW: enjoying something doesn´t mean you need to be happy about it or on a rush, it can incorporate many different feelings.
>I can't read. I can't play video games. I browse 4chan all day but I don't post, I don't enjoy memes, and I choke under the unceasing boredom.
>my whole life is a tedious chore. Nothing stimulates me at all.
This is exactly the same for me as well. I don't understand why I don't enjoy things the same as others. My father is the same way and has no hobbies and spends all his time watching TV and playing online poker so I think it must be genetic. Doctors have given me tons of antidepressants but it's never done anything.
I would try abstaining from the internet if I weren't addicted because it seems plausible to me that the constant seeking behavior involved in browsing a site like 4chan would release a lot of dopamine and it could cause downregulation of receptors like seen in people with addictions.
>>16933965
>>16933974
>>16934351
I was very depressed once. This is nothing compared to that nightmare. Meds never helped for any of that - only a bro tier therapist who taught me to appreciate the small things and think like an optimist. Me wanting to sit down and appreciate a good book is just me asking for the bare minimum I need to get by in peace for the rest of my life. But something inside me is still distressed and won't let me rest for even a minute.
I take the diagnoses of psychiatrists with a grain of salt after the doctors contradicted each other and gave me bad meds so many times. The bro tier therapist thought I was autistic and that I was depressed because I knew something was wrong with me but I had no way of dealing with it until I knew what it was.
>>16933611
Start drinking.
>>16933638
Just lie down. Allow yourself to do nothing and be ok with it. Go to bed or something.
start writing your thoughts out on paper or something. sounds like you need to breath, really
Lift weights. Wear earphones so yiu don't feel like you have to interact with others and so they will leave you alone
>>16935298
Right now I'm downloading white noise and ambient nature soundtracks to help me relax. I think part of my problem is the fact that I'm super sensitive to my environment and I need something to help me tune it out.
>>16935365
accidentally posted my dog. r8 it
