This might be too serious to discuss here. I'd definitely try talking to a counselor / therapist. Not just for who gets the kids, but coping in general.

Also, considering lawyering up. This escalates the situation, I'd think, but she seems hostile.

Modern men. Breaking up their families because
> wahhhh I can't get along with one woman

>>16929587
That's not what OP said at all. Learn to read you bitter cunt.

>>16929552
>Today she told my four year old son " I hate your dad " I don't know what to do
That's fucking child abuse. All you can do is be there for them, my parents split when I was 8 and my mother did the same stuff, it got so bad I had to cut her out of my life some 4 years ago. Despite this I always knew my father was a good guy because he was always there for me, just make sure you're there for your kids.

>>16929587
Kill yourself fucking faggot cunt.

>>16929573
This
This
This

>>16929599
This only strengthens my agreement with the above post.

>>16929573
>>16929602
Do not get therapy.

Lawyer up. If she's saying shit like that to your son she will try to get full custody. Do not let her do this. Be in their life, show them unconditional love, and do not talk badly about their mother to them.

If you can speak to her, and ask her to not speak to your children like that. Ask her to not put the kids in the middle. It's not their fault the marriage didn't work out, and with the whole "I hate daddy" shit will make them feel they'll have to take sides. No child should be put in that position.

Thanks guys, I have asked her on numerous occasions not to do that in front of our children but it never sinks in. So many things ran through my mind a life without my children seems so empty, thought about suicide... Couldn't follow through. I'm just in a bad state of mind ATM and probably looking for advice and to vent. Lawyer it is! Can't give up without a fight

>>16929552
Don't let her brainwash your kids into thinking that she's the better parent. Obviously she is not because while she has given up you are actively seeking solutions. Growing up i knew many kids that were tricked into saying that their other parent was abusive to have one parent get full custody by giving them toys and stuff. Its really heartbreaking but its true.

Other than that i agree with
>>16929573
This is too serious for 4chan's regular gaggle of socially awkward and inept manchilds to deal with or even comprehend what a situation like this can be like.

>>16929601
Yes, let's all take OP for his word. People who want a divorce never exaggerate just so so their spouse looks bad and their friends will take their side

>>16929621
This >>16929552 lawyer yourself the fuck up, and most importantly do not involve your children in any situations where they are in the middle between you and her. It will traumatize them and they WILL grow up damaged and troubled.

According to my father my mother would insist on going into a room where we were whenever they fought, maybe to protect herself (my father is an asshole too), but we also had to see a lot of things that we didn't need to and my brother and i still have issues from how messy the whole thing was and it's been 15 years.

Just please be there for them in any capacity. If you are getting divorced you need to focus on how your kids will see you as a person, you can't lose sight of your duties as a parent (not saying you will, but it still should be your number one priority to them, whether your single or not).

>>16929704
4chan may be filled socially awkward manchildren, but they aren't really inept.

Most of the losers on this site are at least somewhat intelligent and would be better at giving advice on divorce than you think as long as you can stay away from the more vitriolic woman haters.

Besides most people on 4chan come from divorced homes.

>asking 4chan for divorce advice.

>>16929797
That said obviously take everything on the Internet with a grain of salt and LAWYER UP.

>>16929552
When I was 4 or 5, my mom told me to bite and pinch my dad whenever he came to visit, so my dad couldn't fight back. I listened to her because I lived with my mom more while my dad was out working and because my dad's place was cold and damp and he made shit rice. My mom got custody and then tried to kill herself when I was 8, sending me over to my dad. All sorts of fucked up.

I know it defies logic to file for divorce, because you want to save you marriage, but it works.

If she files for divorce the court gives her and her attorney everything and her attorney won't even give her a say. All he cares about is getting his cut of your money, and that doesn't happen in an amicable settlement.

Hire a father's advocate attorney, and file your petition immediately. Doing this isn't shitty, it's just how the system works. You file, it makes you the petitioner, and her the "defendant" you have the upper hand in this position.
If she's petitioner, and you are defendant, you go straight to cucksville.
When she goes to get an attorney, and they see she's defendant, they look at it and don't see dollar signs. this opens the door to negotiation, the attorney isnt telling her he can win anything, as he could if she filed.

then ask her to go to counseling and work things out.

>>16929552
Get a damned good attorney, some scorched earth, how hard can we fuck em kind. Be present in your children's lives as much as you can now and after this shit storm. My Mom pulled the same kind of shit, ended up taking my Dad to the cleaner's and neither of his kids understood why they hated him for over a decade (we really didn't, my Mom is just a cunt).

>marriage
>children

You best be over 30 or the very least, really late 20s

>>16929552
I dunno Anon, but I think you are going to have to harden your heart, at least for a bit.

Modern divorce laws favor the Mom, and it's not even debatable. Most men get reamed because they try and do "the right thing" in the name of the kids, but the next you thing you know, terms like "abandoning the home" and the "lifestyle to which she has become accustomed" start getting bandied about and your life gets much harder.

You are going to have to fight, and that is terrible, because there is no one and no place you'd rather not bring pain and suffering too.

Shots have been fired, and I know you can't see it. Too much hurt and pain to see whats happening in front of you, and I know you still are hoping to fix this.

I hope it can be fixed, but make no mistake, you are in the shit, and you're going to have to think about your happiness for the long term, otherwise you are literally going to get kicked to shit.

I know. I was lucky that my Mother can be a huge and ruthless bitch and kept me from literally losing everything and moving home.

to add to the lawyer advice: make a note of every time she does that shit, who is there, where you were and what was said.

that's fucked up telling your kid that shit.

>>16929587
That's it. Get a mistress and she'll soon change her attitude.

>>16929599
Actually he's right. It's just you're so far cucked you can't see it

>>16929552
Get a lawyer, and get it now. Find one locally that is known for helping fathers get custody and not get fucked in the ass, and find any and all evidence that she's wronged you.

Frankly, the second my wife said that to my son, I would consider it over. But if you think your obstacles are things you can legitimately get over, you need to first put yourself in a position where you will not automatically lose your divorce case.

Then try for therapy again. Try to convince her that she's going to be putting everyone through a lot of hardship, and that this could ruin your childrens' lives. Not like that matters to the modern woman any.

>>16929587
Fuck off roastie cunt

>>16929552
get a good lawyer, i mean a really good one.

>>16930151
This, a divorce notice from her is imminent, launch a pre emptive strike immediately. Also Op? This is why I never want to get married. 50% of marriages end up like this. A literal coin toss. And the wife doesn't even have to do shit as your wife. Dosent have to cook, doesn't hAve to clean. Doesnt have to put out. So why tie your entire life to a person like that if she isn't required to do jack shit and at any time she can pull this shit?

To repeat everyone else here, lawyer up now, don't wait, do it today. Document everything from here out. You buy something she uses? Document it. She tells the kids you're a monster, document it. Keep a backup in case she destroys your documents (document that). Also, call CFS about that, it's borderline child abuse.

Don't move out, your surrendering ownership if you do. Make her move out. Sign up for therapy. It won't do any good, but it looks good in court. Don't date. In court, you want to appear to be a loving husband trying his best to save his marriage.

Any good lawyer will tell you all this.

>>16931665
Not actually true. That stat is skewed by people who divorce, remarry and divorce again, because they are often defective, impossible to stay married to people. 32% of all FIRST TIME marriages end in divorce.