I've had a crush on a girl for over a year and decided to tell her that.
She responded that it's difficult for her to feel the same way, because she doesn't know me well enough and has reservations about people in general. She says I'm smart and good-looking and thus far she sees no reason why she couldn't eventually fall for me. I agreed that it was premature of me but I had to break the news because I was losing my mind and couldn't stop thinking about her. After that comment, her messages have been containing more smiley faces than before.
It's not like we barely know each other, we've met 6 times and have been chatting for a year. It's certainly not much, but her first response left me feeling like she has no feelings for me. I think something should've emerged by now if there was any real chance of us being together. The smiley faces made me feel hopeful though.
I was still thinking of giving up on her. Not cutting contact, I like her as a friend, I'll just be actively seeking to shift my romantic focus elsewhere. Thing is, I'm 22 and a virgin, lived for years as a NEET in my mom's basement, barely going outside. I had absolutely no reason to do that, there was just a big setback in my life when I was 18 which made me take a break from everything and that kind of escalated. I moved on my own recently, got a job, went back to school, picked up new hobbies and have been participating in social events. I've met a bunch of girls and made some friends too. The next logical step would probably be to have sex. I know a few potential fuckbuddies. I actually sort of went out on a date with one. I think I'll arrange a second one with a premeditated vitamin D injection. There's no reason to wait any longer to have your first time be "worth the wait" with someone special, right?
Maybe she wants to like you but can't.
If I like a guy I usually know after about 2 months of knowing him and talking to him regularly.
>>16929194
There are so many fish in the sea that there's no reason why you should wait two years to lose your virginity to any girl.
>>16929221
I think that's effectively what she told me. She sees plenty of reasons to like me but it just hasn't clicked, "yet". I wonder how I could find out for sure though. She's coming over for a weekend sometime this or next month. We've always met in public before so that could turn out to be interesting.
>>16929261
Yeah, I think that's a noteworthy addition to the story come to think of it. This girl knows I have a mad crush on her but agreed to stay over at my place. Due to space restrictions she'll have to sleep in my bedroom and she knows that. Isn't that a bit strange? Given that she has "reservations about people" and all.
According to WhatsApp statistics we've exchanged 352 messages since February 2015. That's pretty irregular, though they're mostly long messages with multiple sentences. She uses immaculate spelling and punctuation in even instant messaging, which I find endearing. It's very silly, but makes it more gratifying. I've been chatting with other girls and it just feels meh when I'm used to receiving lengthy, thought-out messages. It would be a shame if I went ahead and blew a chance I was too lazy to find out I had.
When she comes to visit, is there something I could do to win her over? Or attempt something that should win her over if she was even mildly to be won over.
>>16929194
>I agreed that it was premature of me
Premature? You wasted a whole year creepily obsessing over her before finally asking her out. You shouldn't have even waited a week.
>>16929194
>I was still thinking of giving up on her. Not cutting contact, I like her as a friend, I'll just be actively seeking to shift my romantic focus elsewhere.
Just cut contacts, unless you want to get hurt once you'll eventually see her get madly in love with a generic alpha dudebro that popped out of nowhere even is she didn't know anything about him. Thus making you feel pretty salty about the response you got.
>>16930482
The 6 instances of us meeting in public are technically the result of me asking her out... just without any predicated romantic implications. When I first contacted her it was to ask her out for a coffee.
It was premature because it felt that way. I had been waiting for a opportunity to naturally steer things in that direction but it never seemed to come about. I'm sure she knew about my feelings and had considered me as something more than a friend as well but there had only been some mild flirting before I took the leap, which didn't feel sufficient to me.
Bear in mind that she's never had a boyfriend and has fewer friends than me, an ex-NEET virgin. She even admitted that besides me she mostly chats with her family members on WhatsApp, I'm not just some random acquaintance in her life. Fuck off with these "creepy obsession" suppositions.
>>16929194
>Thing is, I'm 22 and a virgin, lived for years as a NEET in my mom's basement, barely going outside. I had absolutely no reason to do that, there was just a big setback in my life when I was 18 which made me take a break from everything and that kind of escalated.
>tfw this is me exactly except I never recovered and became a success
Congrats dude. Get it in and become a symbol of hope to NEETs everywhere.
>>16930524
It ended up being a very straightforward thing to do. Moving out was the difficult part and very much the key. I was lucky to find a roommate who was willing to take me in right away and support me during the transition as I sought my own income. I didn't think twice about taking action every day, because I didn't want to burden him. The momentum builds up on itself after that. After you've landed a job and figured out how you want to proceed in terms of studying, pick a martial art you like and enroll in a beginner class. It's the second best decision I made. There are many reasons for that, but if I were to sell the idea to an insecure shut-in who's shy around females, I'd point out that there will likely be female participants who will happily let you wrestle them as hard as you like.
No matter how much time you've wasted, pulling your shit together is always worth the effort. Move out, senpai.
So, does nobody want to answer my question here >>16930441? I should've used a more attractive picture in the OP.
Looks like I'll have to make a new thread sometime, tl;dr it to a few sentences and attach a provocative picture if I want advice. I'm leaving out many important details as-is though and summarizing the situation more would make it pointless to even ask, because the amount of information given directly correlates with the potential quality of advice.
/adv/ 101 everyone.
>>16930494
You've got a point there, I'd hate to go through that. Even though in terms of looks and body structure I'm not too far off from your generic alpha dudebro (give me some muscle and I'll be golden), there must be a guy type out there that has instant appeal to her like she had to me.
