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Someone help me please, I've been in a fetal position for the past hour crying listening to pseudo 90s music

I'm an isolated college senior, I haven't been at home longer than a couple weeks for longer than 5 years. All my friends graduated and moved on with their lives and forgot about me


I keep getting pumped and dumped my girls on tinder who date me fuck me and never talk to me again

I've been reading the Redpill and /pol/ and I feel like everything I lived has been a lie... That our society has been on a trail of fucked up for so long and I'm just figuring it out

I've been listening to vaporwave music to bring back the 90s nostalgia i had a s a kid and it seriously makes me want to kill myself in a weird way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc5Y5ckee8o

I sleep all the time between classes to suppress my depression and my adhd meds. Not a day goes by where I don't think of killing myself. I'd smoke weed and drink my problems away but I don't even have money for that


I feel so alone, my life is moving too fast, I want everything to go back to the way it was when I was a 7 year old kid

Why the fuck did I have to wake up now???

Does life get better in your 30s? Or am I just in store for repeated heartbreak and isolation until the day I die?